Ninotchka Page #14

NINOTCHKA:

I see a house that looks like any

other house. What's remarkable about

it?

LEON:

It's not the structure but the spirit

which dwells within. There are three

rooms and a kitchenette dedicated to

hospitality.

NINOTCHKA:

So that is your house?

LEON:

Well, let's say I live in it. Such a

pleasant place... all kinds of

comfort, easy to reach, close to

street car, bus, and subway...

NINOTCHKA:

(straight from the

shoulder)

Does that mean that you want me to

go there?

LEON:

(feeling that he has

offended her)

Please don't misunderstand me...

NINOTCHKA:

Then you don't want me to go there.

LEON:

(in a pickle)

Now I didn't say that either...

naturally nothing would please me

more.

NINOTCHKA:

(simply)

Then why don't we go?

(looking at him)

You might be an interesting subject

of study.

LEON:

I will do my best.

They walk toward the elevator as we

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERIOR, ENTRANCE HALL -- LEON'S APARTMENT

In the foreground stands a console on which is a telephone.

Gaston, Leon's elderly, dignified butler, is answering the

phone.

GASTON:

(into phone)

No... Count d'Algout is still out.

Yes, as soon as he returns I'll tell

him. Yes... I'll tell him Monsieur

Buljanoff.

He puts down the receiver as Leon opens the door with his

key. Ninotchka and Leon enter. Ninotchka, during the following

scene, is studying every detail of the apartment with the

eye of a technical expert.

LEON:

Good evening, Gaston.

GASTON:

Good evening, Monsieur.

NINOTCHKA:

Is this what you call the "butler"?

LEON:

Yes.

NINOTCHKA:

(takes Gaston's hand)

Good evening, comrade.

(to Leon)

This man is horribly old. You should

not make him work.

LEON:

He takes good care of that.

NINOTCHKA:

He looks sad. Do you whip him?

LEON:

No, though the mere thought makes my

mouth water.

NINOTCHKA:

(to the completely

flabbergasted Gaston)

The day will come when you will be

free. Go to bed, little father. We

want to be alone.

Leon opens the door to the living room. Ninotchka enters.

Just as he is about to follow her, Gaston addresses him.

GASTON:

(in a low voice)

Count d'Algout, there have been

several telephone...

LEON:

Go to bed.

INTERIOR, LIVING ROOM -- LEON'S APARTMENT

Leon enters the room. Closes the door. Ninotchka is examining

the room.

LEON:

Well, may I offer you a drink, or

how about something to eat?

NINOTCHKA:

Thank you. I've had all the calories

necessary for today.

Leon feels a little uncertain as to how to approach this

creature.

NINOTCHKA:

What do we do now?

LEON:

We take off our hat and coat.

(he takes her things)

We sit down -- we make ourselves

comfortable. We adjust ourselves to

the prospect of a most enjoyable

evening. We look at each other. We

smile.

(Ninotchka doesn't

respond)

Well... we don't smile. How about

some music?

NINOTCHKA:

Is that customary?

LEON:

It helps. It has ever since King

David wooed Bathsheba with the harp.

As I am not so fortunate as to have

my harp at hand, I shall turn on the

radio.

NINOTCHKA:

(the observer)

I should say this room is eighteen

by twenty-five.

LEON:

Not too big and not too small. What

I'd call the typical room of an

average man. Or shall we say a little

above average. Now if there are any

special aspects you wish to study I

have nothing to conceal. Just look

around. That's my desk. Those are my

books, and here am I. Where shall we

begin?

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