No Clue Page #6

Synopsis: In Canada, a woman named Kyra goes to the office of the middle-aged clumsy salesman Leo Falloon by mistake believing that he is a private detective. She hires him to help her to find her missing brother Milles Severeign and Leo is so spellbound by the blonde that he does not tell her that he is not who she is looking for. Leo decides to pose as a private detective and he gets involved in a complicated scheme of computer game corporations seeking high profits.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Carl Bessai
Production: eOne
  1 win & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
NOT RATED
Year:
2013
96 min
Website
79 Views


He hated Miles a lot more

than he's letting on.

Hey, what's the View ID on

the connections manager?

Why?

I need to make sure all the clients

are synchronized.

Just reference the subversion log.

It's faster.

Oh, yeah.

Pfft, who's the new guy?

Ah, that's J- Bird, one of our top guys,

actually.

J-Bird, A-Train, T-Rex,

guys, this is...

Actually, I don't even know your name.

Leo.

With an L.

L... Elephant?

Best I could come up with.

Hey, uh..are you also checking into

that crazy chick who was after Miles?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm all over it.

Refresh my memory?

Just some chick. Desperate,

crazy in love with him.

But he wanted nothing to do with her.

She just wouldn't let it go.

Basically stalking the guy.

- Oh, yeah, yeah...

The, the stalker.

Buttersnap, that's her code name.

Of course her real name, is, uh...

- Reese.

- Reese, yes.

Reese?

Hello, Mr. Turdweb.

Hey, Crapdrop, guess what?

It all comes back to Horn again.

I just found out that Horn's daughter,

Reese, was stalking Miles.

Hmmm. I don't know what any

of that means.

But you seem excited, so

I'm happy for you.

It, it means Horn's involved in this

somehow...

And I'm gonna find out how!

Although, I tell ya, I still

don't trust that Nelson guy, either.

Those names don't mean anything to me

and I'm not on the case.

Actually, I'm on my lunch break.

- Break? From what? Dusting?

Nelson is the head of V5.

Really?

Cool, get me some free games...

What shall I ask for?

Uh, Whipwars, definitely

gotta have that one.

TankFace.

Ultimate TankFace 3, of course.

Are you getting this?

- Yeah, yeah. Woopie Face 3.

Now listen.

You're on the case, as of now.

Because I found out that

Nelson's wife is dead.

So I need you to Google around on

your Internet machine.

See if you can figure out how she died.

Was it anything suspicious.

Because I'm getting a bad vibe from this guy.

Uh-huh, TankFace 3,

not Woopie Face.

Alright, so Nelson?

That right?

V5.

Any other details?

- No, that's all I got.

Gah, this is disgusting.

What do you wash your dishes with?

Margarine?

Just get a bottle of water

out of the fridge.

Just see what you can find out for now.

and then call me back.

I gotta go.

I just had an idea.

Ah, how am I gettin' paid,anyway?

Since I'm on the case.

You got any bottles of water?

You got any big bottles?

Hey, Jake!

Did you...

wax your legs?

- Can I help you?

Oh, great. Thanks.

Ugh, that thing must be 300 pounds.

It's like carrying an adult pig on your neck.

Could you...put it on the floor

or something?

Yeah, could you give me a second?

You heard me say it was heavy, right?

Oh, hey I'm looking for Reese

Horn's office. Is that around here?

- End of the hall, on the left.

- Great. Okay...

Well, hey, you can't leave this here.

I'll tell Reese where it is.

She'll come get it.

Hey, Reese.

Remember me?

Oh, yeah. Tough guy.

You back to fight security again?

Yeah, these are my fighting shorts.

Hey, uh, you wanna grab a coffee?

No.

But you can buy me a drink.

Um, you...you seemed pretty upset

when you heard that miles was missing.

I know.

I understand I made a bit of a scene.

Daddy was very embarrassed.

I know he was embarrassed because he

told me a hundred times.

What's your, uh, relationship with Miles?

If you don't mind me asking.

Depends on why you're asking.

I just...his sister wants me to find him.

She's kinda worried about him.

Oh, really?

Miles doesn't have a sister.

So who's the slut that's

looking for him?

Well, she's not a slut.

Oh, you're pretty quick to defend

her honor. Is she your girl?

No.

- You wish she was your girl.

- Pfft. No.

Right. I don't think we'll be seeing you winning

any awards for acting anytime soon.

You don't know that.

And now you're...you're just gonna

fire up a ciggy in here?

Like it's 1952?

And nobody's ever heard of the law.

Or emphysema.

You would make a terrific nun.

Hey.

- What?

Your matches...have a striking

strip on the front. That is wild.

Normally, for safety reasons, the strip's

supposed to be on the back.

Wow, you are really hung up on rules.

No, it's just that I haven't seen this

since like the 70s.

Where'd you find these?

Nevermind where I found them.

It doesn't matter.

Okay, I'm just sayin'...

Who cares about matches?

You know, I'm tired of

your snooping around.

And I need to get back to work.

So...

MATCHCO MATCH COMPANY

Matchco, the match company.

Phyllis, it's Leo from Boffo.

Oh, heya Leo.

How you doin'?

Did you get that catalog I sent ya?

It's got some pretty cool

stuff in it, huh?

Well, matches mostly.

Yeah, but new styles.

Not really.

- Not really, no.

Phyllis, I'm calling with a question.

Suppose I had a client who wanted

to order some match books

but he wanted to have the striking strip

on the front of the matches.

What, does he have a death wish?

Now, um, Phyllis, it's not...

That's not safe! Well, it's just a hypothetical.

I don't actually...

One wrong spark and that

whole book lights up.

Now Phyllis, there isn't really...

You have to talk him out of it, Leo!

He won't listen. He's a crazy

thrill-seeking daredevil from a circus.

So just answer the question.

Does anybody still make matches like that?

Not in this country, thank God.

Hmmm...I saw a pack today.

Where would those have come from?

Best guess:
China.

And...Voil!

Want a room?

Good lord, no.

I mean...yes.

What I mean is...

um, I'm, I'm supposed to

get a room in the same hotel

as a buddy of mine is in,

I don't, not sure that this is the

same hotel he's at.

Do you have a Miles Severeign

staying here?

Oh, we don't give out names of guests.

That's a good policy.

I could tell right away this was

a security-first type establishment.

So, how about I, uh, just say his name.

You nod or shake your head. okay.

Miles Severeign.

- You got a warrant?

Yes.

Good, let's see it.

I lost it.

No warrant, no search.

Wa-wait a minute.

You think I'm a cop?

Is that what this is?

That's a riot.

Cop, indeed.

No, my friend, I am no cop.

In fact, I'm supposed to meet

a guy here to smoke some crack.

His name is Miles Severeign.

Is he in, or...?

Piss off.

A regular dog, please.

No.

C'mon, Alice.

No, I can't give you a list of

new businesses.

You did it for me before.

Three years ago and we were dating.

Why would I do it now?

Because you...

feel guilty for dumping me.

No...I feel good about that.

That was a good move.

You're in denial.

The only reason you want a list

of all the new businesses is so

you can be the first one to

go and peddle your novelty crap.

Ah! it's not novelty crap. it's

specialty crap.

And-and this is a much better cause.

This time you cold be saving

a life.

or stopping a crime or

ending a communist uprising.

I am so sure.

This is important, Alice.

I just need to know what you have

on a new company called Glasskey.

I'll owe you a favor.

- great,

so if I need my name on a swizzle stick,

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Brent Butt

Brent Butt (born August 3, 1966) is a Canadian actor, comedian, and writer. He is best known for his role as Brent Leroy on the CTV sitcom Corner Gas, which he co-created. He also created the hit TV show Hiccups and the 2013 film No Clue. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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