No Men Beyond This Point Page #5

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number one agenda,

doing away with men.

They go on believing

that they don't need us,

but that's just

another example

of their reckless,

short-term way of thinking.

Being women, they can't

think strategically.

They're incapable of

seeing the big picture.

I'll give you an example.

In 1960, the U.S. Defense Department

was all set to fund a program

that would allow the computers

all around the world

to connect with each other.

They'd have been

linked together

in a massive

communication web.

Could you imagine if all

our word processing units

could talk to each other?

Bloody amazing, right?

Well, women take

over and guess what?

The U.S. Defense budget

gets stuffed.

Don't even getting me started

on space exploration.

They gutted NASA

in the early 1960s,

and the Russian program

didn't stand a chance, either.

I really don't understand

this obsession they have

with putting

a man on the moon.

We all appreciate the important

role it plays in our lives,

but do we really need

to go to the trouble

of sending someone

up there to stand on it?

I don't think so.

Now, if we had a way to put

all of the men on the moon...

So what do we have to show

for all these massive spending

cuts and program cancellations?

World peace and electric cars.

Big bloody deal.

True progress only

comes about through conflict.

Used to be a time when

one country fancied another,

they'd invade it.

War was declared,

and they battled it out

until one of

them was defeated.

And a bigger, stronger nation

was born out of it.

Dale?

I was just fixing my hair.

Used to be a time,

if a man fancied a woman,

he'd court her,

turn on the charm.

but I'd rather

look at you.

You're beautiful, Connie.

Until she had no choice

but to fall for him.

And they'd get together,

and they'd have sex.

Intercourse.

That's a form of conflict.

And out of that came children.

True progress.

Now?

We live in a world where

there's no wars, no.

I remember when my parents

told me I was the last boy.

I started wondering if maybe I

was the cause of the problem.

That somehow I had stopped any

more of us from coming out.

Like maybe I had broken

the machinery or something.

Or that God had

taken one look at me

and said, "That's it,

I'm done with males."

Even though we still

don't know for certain,

a consensus has emerged as to what

caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

The same will

be true with men.

Until the cause

is discovered,

a dominant theory will emerge

and become conventional wisdom.

My personal feeling?

It's evolution.

Humans evolved from the apes

and now we're evolving

further into a single sex.

But why?

Why would nature do that?

We just don't need

them anymore. That's all.

It's not as if we're

a hunter-gatherer society.

We don't need men

to protect us

or hunt for food

or build shelters.

And since they

aren't needed anymore,

nature just

stopped producing them.

It's nothing personal.

It's the penis.

It was responsible for the skyscrapers,

the missiles, the oil drills,

and eventually all of that

aggressive, phallic energy

had such a corroding effect

on the planet

that nature had no choice

but to extinguish it.

You know what a NEO is?

Near Earth object.

Now normally,

they're comets or asteroids.

Well, in 1952,

astronomers recorded one

that they thought

was an asteroid.

But due to an unusually large

cloud of solar debris

that was surrounding it,

there was no way to be sure.

Nine months later, the first

so-called fatherless baby was born.

Women have two X chromosomes,

men only have one,

which would be okay if our Y

chromosome had something to offer.

But the fact is,

it pales in comparison.

It only carries

a tiny complement of genes

and it offers no protection

against genetic mutations.

It's kind of

a runty little thing.

And I suspect that's

ultimately what's doing us in.

Why wouldn't there

be female aliens?

A race of asexual,

female aliens

that come to Earth to hijack

our reproductive system.

And do you want to know

why the government

doesn't have an explanation?

Because if they admitted

they knew what the cause was,

they'd be that much closer

to being able to fix it.

So either they

don't want to know

and they've got their

heads stuck in the sand,

or they do know and they're

hiding the truth from us.

Either way, they're avoiding

dealing with the situation.

Men aren't like that,

are they?

-No.

-No! No.

When we see a problem,

we attack it.

We tear it apart until we know

everything there is to know about it.

And then what do we do?

-We fix it!

-We fix it!

We don't form committees or talking

circles or go on listening tours.

-We fix it.

-Fix it! Fix it!

And that's exactly

what we're gonna do.

We're gonna get back into power

and put an end to manlessness.

Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!

Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!

Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!

I just received some

very important information.

They're serving tenderloin

in the mess hall tonight

and they're

serving it right now.

Come on! Let's go.

I realize now it was a kind of

survivor's guilt that I was feeling.

And even though it's totally

crazy, I still feel twinges of it.

It's usually when I see

other men looking at me,

and I think they blame me for

being the last one out the door.

"What did you do?

What did you do?"

I don't feel good about it.

But I don't feel bad, either.

It's not like

they're being massacred.

They're just

getting old and dying off.

It's like, I remember reading

in the paper a while ago

that the last surviving member

of this rock band had died.

They were called

The Raymonds, I think.

The Ramones?

Right. Anyway,

I remember feeling sad.

But not for all

the members of the band,

or because they wouldn't

be producing any new songs,

but because

someone had died.

That's always sad,

but that's also

a part of life.

Nothing is forever.

You're comparing the extinction of

men to a punk band from the '70s?

It's actually kind

of the same thing.

One day, I'm going

to open up the paper

and find out that

the last man has died.

And I think I'm going to feel the same

way that I did about The Raymonds.

Hi,

I'm so excited to meet you.

-I loved your book.

-So nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

What's your name?

Imagine if

the entire planet

was exposed to sunlight

24 hours a day.

It would never get dark, so we wouldn't

have any use for the word "night."

The same is true

for the word "gender."

Once men are gone, it will

cease to have any meaning.

And good riddance. It's the most

divisive word in human history.

But doing away with gender does not

mean we have to do away with sex.

Despite what the government

would have us believe,

women still crave

sexual intimacy,

just as we're still

instinctively pairing off

in order to

raise our children.

Because without intimacy,

the bond that

holds a couple together

will eventually

start to disintegrate.

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