Noel Page #4

that he will change,

but I don't know anymore.

I mean, we're supposed

to get married in one week.

This is it.

This is forever.

And I can't live like this.

But I can't picture my life

without him either.

You love him very much.

[sighing]

Yeah, so much.

We even decided

that we were gonna try

to have a baby

since we just got

the apartment.

We both want a baby

very badly.

Even though it's a long shot.

I thought you were pregnant.

Yeah.

To tell you the truth,

I'm not sure.

Well, then you have

to take a test and find out.

Doctors have always told me

that I have a very low chance

of getting pregnant,

and I thought I was

a few times before,

and then I wasn't,

so I don't want to take

another test

and be disappointed again.

Besides,

I know I'm just nauseous

from all the stress

of everything going on.

(man)

Excuse me,

ladies and gentlemen.

We're having

a little impromptu contest.

Winner takes home

the stunning Christmas tree

on my piano.

Just step up to the mic

and tell us

why you hate Christmas.

Best reason wins.

All those interested,

follow me.

Look, all I know is

that, um...

nobody's perfect,

and if you find love,

I mean real love,

you just don't throw it away

without a hell of a fight.

Yeah.

Yes.

My wife used to do that

with her coffee.

It was her one vice,

if you can call it that.

It was more like

a simple pleasure, really,

just to put a little brandy

in her evening coffee,

and B&B,

just the way you do it.

Who are you?

Look, you've been

very, very kind to me,

and I owe you

an explanation.

It's just very hard for me

to get the words out.

What I would like...

[knocking]

[women talking

and laughing]

[knocking]

(woman)

Anybody home?

Oh, he's home.

Ho ho ho.

Merry Christmas, Mikey.

What are you

doing here?

What am I doing here?

I come

to cheer you up, man.

Look, this is Holly

and Mary.

Mikey, get it?

Holly and Mary.

Come on,

Christmas.

Dennis, I'm not sure

this is such

a good time right now.

Yeah, the girl's room

is right around the corner here.

Okay, okay,

we're going.

[giggling]

Look what

I brought you.

Yeah, but, Dennis--

Mike, I get

the redhead, okay?

What's going on here,

Mikey?

That's the guy

from the diner.

What's he doing here?

I'm trying to get

to the bottom of this thing.

You invited him

to your apartment.

Mikey,

what are you thinking?

He could be

some sort of psycho.

He's not a psycho.

Little strange maybe,

but he's sweet.

Sweet?

Mike, is there something

you want to tell me?

What are you

talking about?

I'm just trying to figure out

what's going on with this guy.

I'm your partner.

You could tell me anything.

[women's voices]

[laughing]

Dennis, you got to get them

out of here.

Girls, Dennis,

I really appreciate

you coming by

and your concern and everything.

Mike, I don't trust

this guy, okay?

I'm on my cell

if you need me.

Nah, I'll be all right.

Mike, I'm on my cell, okay?

I'll be fine.

What?

I find that I'm very

attracted to you.

Oh, wait a minute.

I'm not gay.

I'm not gay either.

I like women.

I love women.

No, I mean

I really like women.

I love women too.

And I'm getting married.

I'm getting married

really soon

to a really great woman

that I love very much.

I was married once

to a woman that I really loved,

and that woman was you.

Excuse me?

Do you believe

in reincarnation?

How could you not?

When I looked at you

and you looked at me,

I knew it was she.

I knew it was

my Angeline,

my wife.

All right, that's it.

You're out of here.

No, you're out of here!

You're my wife.

Stay away from me!

Please, don't do this

to me.

(woman)

Come on in, baby.

The car's warm.

's the matter,

Dennis?

You're no fun tonight.

Give me one second,

all right?

I don't trust this guy

with my partner.

Something's wrong.

(woman)

Oh, nothing's wrong.

(Dennis)

Give me a minute.

Give me a minute.

(woman)

Come on, Dennis.

Son of a b*tch.

I knew it.

No, no, Dennis.

[laughing]

My goodness,

look at...

[all laughing]

(Dennis)

All right, listen,

I got to straighten

this guy out.

I got to.

I got to.

[laughing]

What I do

for my friends, my God.

All right, just--

I got to.

All right,

listen,

I got to straighten

this guy out.

Just stay here.

Stay in the car.

Oh, come on.

Dennis,

wait in the car?

Nina.

What's the matter?

I really love you.

But your jealousy

is killing me.

You hold on so tight.

I can't breathe.

That's because

I love you so much, though.

Too much.

Come on,

that's crazy.

No, it's not.

You have to let go,

Mike.

If we're gonna make it,

then you have to

let go a little.

I do have

another life,

a career,

a job where I have to

talk to men.

There's nothing

the matter with that.

Yeah, but all

these guys want

is to take you

to bed.

So some of them try.

So what?

You have

to trust me.

Who?

Who what?

What guys try?

tr

No.

No, are they

friends of mine?

Do I know

these guys?

I didn't say that.

No, are they guys

from your work?

Did I ever

meet them?

Mike, did you hear

a word that I said?

What guys?

Who are they?

Why the hell

did I come here?

Come on.

Listen to me.

I don't want

to talk to you.

Now you're starting

to scare me.

You're gonna have

to talk to me.

(Mike)

I'm sorry.

I wasn't listening.

(Dennis)

Mikey, your friend here's

waiting in the doorway hiding.

I wasn't hiding.

I wanted

to be near you.

I thought you might

come down again.

Not now, Artie.

Nina, please.

Come on.

Don't leave.

Get in the car.

This is all

your fault.

Why do you keep

doing this to me?

You're my life.

You stay away

from me.

I'm warning you.

Stay away from me!

You understand me?

Sh*t.

[groaning]

Mikey,

what'd you do?

I didn't

do anything.

Get an ambulance.

Get an ambulance.

And our last contestant,

Ms. Rose Harrison.

[applause]

All right,

let's see.

I hate Christmas

because, uh...

Well, you know,

actually,

I don't completely

hate Christmas.

I, um...

There's...quite frankly,

a lot of things

I love about Christmas:

those little

dome things that you shake--

[booing]

Right, okay, sorry.

Um...

Okay, I got pregnant

the summer that I turned 25,

and it wasn't something

that my husband and I

really planned,

but, you know,

we always wanted kids,

so we were thrilled.

And we found out we were

gonna have a little girl

and we painted the room pink

with little bunnies

and all that.

And we named her

after our maternal grandparents,

Olivia May.

And the pregnancy was great,

and the delivery was great,

and when she came out of me,

she looked perfect.

She had just

these little tiny,

tiny little fingers,

all of them

and little toes,

and she was blonde.

And you know, I don't know

what color eyes she had

because, um,

well, I never...

um, I never saw her eyes

because she, um...

Well, she...

her heart stopped.

It just stopped,

and they told us

that it was defective.

And I tried to get pregnant

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