Norm of the North

---

Don't listen to the haters, Norm.

You're a polar bear.

You got this.

I mean, look at those paws.

You're an animal-- literally.

It's an all-you-can-eat seal buffet.

Go fill your plate.

Read 'em and weep, boys.

Cari-boo-yah!

Full house.

I'd bet antlers he fails again.

Ah, he looks hungry.

I'm giving ten-to-one odds

he catches the poor pinniped.

They say I can't hunt.

Oy, phooey! How can I be king

if I can't hunt?

This is gonna hurt.

Oh!

That wasn't so bad.

Oy, that was bad.

They say he doesn't have any focus.

Huh? Hi, Elizabeth.

Hi.

Augh!

Jeez, it's like pure ice up here.

An accident waiting to happen,

you know?

I mean, somebody should really

do something about this, huh?

Ahem.

Lemmings.

Anyway, I really

should get goin' now.

I've got a seal to go catch

and eat and I--

anyway, I uh--

See ya, gotta go.

Bye now.

Catch ya later, Elizabeth.

Babe, look! A hunt!

This trip is finally payin' off.

Any last words before I eat you?

Oh, come on. Don't say that.

You always know exactly

what to say to get to me.

Eat him. Eat him!

- Yeah! Eat him.

- Eat him!

You wanna know

why I'm not gonna eat you?

You got a minute?

Well, maybe an hour.

It all started when I turned 13.

In health class they told us

how our growl would change,

how we'd start getting

more fur on our bodies.

But they didn't say anything

about speaking to humans.

I want one! I want one!

I want one! I want one!

Aren't they supposed to stay

50 yards away?

If this little brat takes one more step,

I'm gonna pounce.

Keep it up, kid.

The only thing you're gonna get

is a mauling.

Can't ya see we're wild animals here?

Did you just talk to me?

Wait. You can speak bear?

No, dummy,

you're speaking human.

I didn't know what to do.

No other bear seemed to be able

to speak human.

And certainly no other bear

had these weird feelings that I had.

So I went to go see

the wisest bear in the world.

The King of the Arctic,

who conveniently

was also my grandpa.

I don't know what to do.

I didn't ask for this.

What is wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you, Norm.

You're special.

Yeah, a real one of a kind.

Actually, more like two of a kind.

I share the same trait.

I, too, can speak to our human visitors.

You can talk to them, too?

I can.

Polar bears are icons

of the Arctic, Norm.

And an icon with a voice

can be very powerful indeed.

Our land is vulnerable

and we're responsible.

For now, just know

that what you and I have

is a great gift.

One day you'll truly understand.

But when will I understand?

But it didn't end there.

Human tendencies

had taken over my body.

That's when I started doing

the Arctic Shake.

Everybody

Let me speak free

Be who you wanna be,

stand up and shout...

I put the "soul"

in winter solstice.

Get down move your body

all around F

Let your crazy out,

let your crazy out

- Shout...

- Until the batteries ran out.

These days, I'm pretty glad

I have these feelings,

but I just don't know

what to do with them.

And that brings me

to the other day.

Why don't you take a picture?

It'll last longer.

I knew he wouldn't kill the seal.

- Pay up.

- Fine, here.

You're lucky these things

grow back.

I'm a bear who can't hunt.

I'm softer than frozen yogurt.

Who needs a bear

with too much care

and not enough scare?

Norm!

What is that, a haiku?

What did Dad tell you

about writing poetry?

I know, I know. "Leave the poetry

to the panda bears."

What's up, Stan?

I only caught the tail end of it...

but I made some money

off your failed hunt today, big bro.

I wish I'd caught the tail end

of my hunt.

Let me give you some advice, bro.

Act with your stomach

and not your heart.

Oh, my 5:
00 is here.

Excuse me, Normie.

I don't know why you spend so much

time and energy on these tourists.

They're ruining it up here.

Au contraire, mon frre.

As Dad always said,

"if humans come to our land and clap,

they can't come to our land

and crap."

"Give them a scene...

the Arctic stays clean."

Thanks, Stan, I got it.

But Grandpa always said--

Enough about Grandpa, Norm.

He left us, remember?

He's not here. We are.

The humans won't destroy

something they love.

And they love...

us!

Let's give these people what they came

a thousand miles to see:

a show!

And go!

Whoa!

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Whales, I need whales.

What you gonna--

what you gonna do with that--

How many times

do I have to tell you?

This ain't Orlando.

Act real.

Ohh! Not that real!

Aw, that's the fourth time this month.

Norm, I need you for the finale.

I'm desperate.

A whale just ate my actor.

This is my nightmare.

Aww, please.

No, the Arctic Shake

was for your bachelor party.

I'd never do that

for the human tourists.

Never, never, never!

Yeah, no time, no time,

no time to lose

You got no time, no time...

- Wow!

- Listen

Baby, baby,

won't you take my hand?

Don't be afraid

to take a chance

Together there is nothin'

we can't do

So start it up,

get in the groove

X Dance, dance, dance

Out of control

- You're out of control...

- That bear's not scary at all.

He doesn't belong in the Arctic,

he belongs on Broadway.

Right?

Hey, hey, can you do

the Charleston?

Socrates!

O wisest of the winged,

brainiest of the beaked.

Caw! Norm, grab a seat.

Be with you in a minute.

Just finishing up.

And the next thing

you know, I'm twerking

in front of a boatload

of human tourists.

Twerking!

Have some self-respect, Norm.

I just don't know why everyone wants

to be so nice to these intruders.

They've never done

anything for us

except to come

to our land uninvited.

Ah, your grandfather

had a saying--

"Panem et circenses."

"Bread and circuses."

He meant it's easier to distract

ourselves with food and entertainment

than to think about the real problems.

What happened to Grandpa,

Socrates?

Did he really just disappear?

The theories are plentiful.

Some believe he's on a vision quest.

Some people think he simply

went to search for fish,

while others think he went

to follow the band...

Phish.

Me, I think your grandpa knew

something was happening

and tried to fight it.

And it looks like that something

is happening.

Holy icicle.

Is that a human house?

It's a model home.

A sales tool.

Just arrived, literally,

fresh on the boat.

It means more of these houses

are gonna be coming.

Humans are moving here?

To live?

It starts with the tourists,

then someone says,

"I could do this year round."

It happened to my buddy,

Freddy the flamingo.

He was in Florida,

minding his own business.

Couple of tourists show up.

Next thing you know,

there are plastic statues of Freddy

on everyone's lawn!

We gotta talk to the king.

Norm, that house has nothing to do

with why Grandpa vanished.

Dad, you're not listening,

there's more.

There's a human house

right here on Grandpa's land.

Humans are moving here now.

Ah, Norm, you always did have

such an imagination, now, didn't you?

- First with the poetry--

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