Norm of the North Page #2

---

- I swear it's true.

Socrates and I snuck in.

And look--

from Florida.

Norm, you are not to go

anywhere near there.

Do you hear me?

Grandpa's land is off limits.

Understood?

"Snuck in."

Ha! Norm, you shouldn't

go onto property

that doesn't belong to you.

You should know better.

Besides, I'm sure the house

you're referring to

is simply a research hut.

Look,son,

you wanna be king?

A future king isn't supposed

to get so emotional.

We hunt, we lead, and we sleep.

Simple!

Now there is plenty of ice

to go around.

Just stay away from there!

Far away.

And for the love of salmon,

no more talking human!

You got me?

Yes, Dad.

Did you see that?

He wants to give away the Arctic.

That's it. We're done.

Norm, it all points to the same thing.

Humans are invading our land.

And you are a polar bear

who can speak to humans.

You're the only one who can

do something about this.

Socrates, I can't even hunt.

Norm, your grandpa once told me,

"Norm's the only bear that has

the potential to be king of the Arctic.

"He feels the Arctic's pain.

And if he feels it enough,

he'll stand for us."

I can't even stand for myself.

Norm, don't listen to them.

They're just furry robots

sitting in their ice cubicles

obeying the rules,

pretending nothing bad's

ever gonna happen.

But you can change the rules.

You're seeing the future.

They're just living in the past.

You can find a new way.

Don't just dance for the humans.

Fight for our home instead.

Okay. I won't let you down.

- Socrates!

- Cranberries!

Surprise is the number-one cause

of death in the elderly, you know.

Ooh...

We have to do something.

I have to do something. Unh!

Ah, number one or number two?

- We gotta take some--

- Action!

What the heck is that?

Caw! That is proof of why

you should stay in school.

First you're cutting class,

next you're dressing up in a bear suit

doing twirls

for a real estate commercial.

The seals would kill him.

Cut!

Who said that?

I'm the only one who yells, "Cut!"

I'm the director.

I'm not just going to be a furry robot

sitting in an ice cubicle.

We have to point that director

in a new direction.

Oh, great.

A suit coming to give me creative notes

on my masterpiece!

But I'll need soldiers on the ground.

Invisible soldiers.

Those little guys?

They'll get crushed.

Trust me, they're indestructible.

- What's he doing?

- He wants you to stomp on him.

He wants to prove how tough he is.

Could he sign a release first?

I'm gonna get, like,

lemming juice everywhere.

Do it.

- Ow.

- I killed him.

If I go down, Socrates,

I'm taking you down with me!

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Ta-da!

You're invincible.

You guys got springs for bones.

Can you see this, honey?

It's so beautiful, isn't it?

It's beautiful, Mom,

but what will it look like

when you and Mr. Greene

build all those houses there?

You're changing the Arctic.

Change isn't always good.

Olympia, if this campaign works

and the houses sell,

that means great things for us.

But it really is amazing up here.

Oh!

Olympia, I'll call you right back.

Hi. Vera Brightly,

Head of Marketing for Mr. Greene.

The commercial is a masterpiece!

I deserve an Oscar!

Well, you can't win an Oscar

for a commercial,

but as long as it can sell condos,

we've done our job.

Can you smell that?

The air is so fresh here.

It's completely unpolluted.

Holy Hitchcock!

That bird just pooped on me.

I think that's good luck, isn't it?

Who forgot to secure the lights?

I swear I secured them.

Is that bird aiming for us?

Oh, poop.

Oh, my gosh.

What is happening?

Vera, we're fine.

I still have the background lights.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Don't tell me those were

the background lights.

Don't worry, Vera.

I've already shot

most of the commercial,

and it's all on this reel.

We'll fix the rest in post.

Anything can be fixed in post.

In one of my movies,

I wrote the plot in post.

Uh, excuse me, Nigel.

Vera, a director always delivers

and never quits.

There goes the footage.

Augh! I quit! I quit!

You can't quit.

We have a one-day film permit,

and the house goes back

to New York tonight.

Au revoir,

as they say in France

and some parts of Canada!

Good job today, lemmings,

but let's not get too comfortable.

Yup, there's one more down there.

Oh, sorry about that.

You guys gotta speak up, seriously.

If you're gonna go to the bottom,

tell somebody.

Let's not completely relax

until "Pretty in Pink"

heads back to America.

Okay, Vera,

you're a problem solver.

When you're faced with a problem,

what do you usually do?

You solve it!

If only I had some seals and ice

and, uh, are there penguins

up here?

Sea lion! Hi!

Please come back.

I need your help with this shot.

Please?

It's a seal, you generalist.

Humans think all animals

look the same.

Ouch! Cracked driveway.

Not a good selling point.

Hey, the Arctic comes as-is.

Who said that?

Mommy.

Sorry, honey.

Mommy couldn't call you back.

I was busy putting out a fire.

The Arctic is on fire?!

Wait, so you're melting it now?

No, no, not real fires.

Everything is fine, sweetie.

I'm totally fine.

Wha?

Oh, no!

Move it, lady!

Oh, no.

A polar bear!

Really? Oh, they're amazing.

Ursus Maritimus.

I think he's charging me.

Is that bad?

Look it up on the Internet.

It says, "When confronted

with a polar bear,

assert dominance

and stand your ground."

I don't think it's working.

Let me call you back, honey.

Mommy has an idea. Love you.

Tired of suburbia?

Come to the Arctic, where every day

is a safari in the snow.

All you need to do is step

outside your front door, literally.

Waterfront property now available.

You're welcome!

Mr. Greene, we've had

some problems up here.

Oh, Vera, my dear-a,

there are no problems,

only messages from the universe.

Om...

Say it with me, Vera.

Om...

Om...

Mr. Greene, the director quit!

What?!

I knew you shouldn't have hired

that overpaid, pretentious--

Okay, how are you gonna fix this?

How are you gonna fix

your fault? Hmm?

Well, I've been filming all day,

and I got some really great

footage of a polar bear

that almost attacked me.

You've been filming?

That is so cute.

I'm sure you think

you're a regular Scorsese.

All right, I need something people

might actually wanna watch.

Wait a tick. I love it.

I love it. I love it!

This bear is a star.

"Safari in the snow."

Genius of me.

This will definitely get me approval

from the Polar Council.

I can't believe it.

Oh, I'm gonna be so rich.

Condos, shopping malls,

Volvo dealerships.

Oh, God, you name it.

It's going to be Dubai on ice.

Bring the commercial and the model

back home to New York

and I'll see you tomorrow,

manana.

That means "morning," I think.

Remember, we have one week

to get this approved.

Actually, Mr. Greene,

while I have you,

any word back

from your alma mater,

the Magister Mundi Academy?

It's Olympia's dream to go there,

Rate this script:1.0 / 4 votes