Not Today Page #2

- Yes?

- Yes, you have our blessing.

Yes, thank you!

Thanks for the sandwich.

Thanks, Luke!

Do you mind telling me

what just happened?

Yeah, I mean,

haven't we been Praying...

...God would get hold

of him and shake him up?

Yeah, yes, yes,

but India, really?

- India.

- Yeah.

Really?

You never know. Really.

Nice try, Mom.

All right.

- Yeah.

- Where the ladies at?

We are in India, right?

Is that where we are?

- It's English, okay?

- Hey, hold on!

- Hello, my friend.

- What's your name?

Hey, open the door!

Call her.

She Probably misses you.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

- Do you think he's...

- Just a little bit.

No, it's just misty. You're just misty.

We'll send her this.

Do you want

to say something here?

Yeah, it was a long flight.

I missed you.

But look at Captain Serious

up in front here.

Captain Serious, can we

have a little fun tonight?

All right, yeah, shower, shave,

do whatever you guys do, wax.

And then we are going

out to the club.

Sounds like a deal.

India!

What?

Get inside the...

Bring on the girls!

Bozo. Who invited

this bozo?

- All right, shots.

- Give me mine. Where's mine at?

- All right.

- All right, here we go. 26 hours of flying.

We are here, let's get

some action tonight.

- Please.

- To us.

Hey, hey, shot number one

of, let's say, 30? 40?

- All right, done.

- Do it.

Kick them back.

Here's mine. Grab one.

- We're good.

- Bottoms up.

All right,

you and me, let's go.

- Let's go.

- Come on!

No, no, no.

I gotta...

Gotta get some air.

I'm not kidding.

What?

What are you looking at?

Sir, Please.

I wasn't talking to you.

Wait a minute.

Haven't I seen you before?

Man.

We have homeless dudes

and beggars back at home...

...but none of them

have a racket like this.

You know, I mean,

you're using your own kid?

Is she even

your own kid?

I mean, I don't know

how they do it here.

Please, money.

Food. No home.

You know English?

I speak English, and,

well, that ain't English.

Well...

- I'll be nice this time.

- I'm saying I had a bad experience.

I love that movie.

Hey, hey,

it's Caden.

What's up, homey?

What's up, buddy?

What are you doing, man?

Dude, this is not the night.

The street corner.

- What?

- The street corner.

I saw this guy

and this Puppet and this little girl.

We saw them on the way

to the hotel...

...and he's trying to tell me

they're hungry. Really? Really?

You got

a three-bedroom in the hills, right?

Know what? Wrap the clubs,

let's Play Poker at his house.

- Hey, hey.

- What's the buy-in?

You could Play, too.

- The Party is inside.

- I got it.

- Let's get our boogie on.

- Come on.

- Let's go.

- Look, give me 15 minutes.

Come back out.

Look at me, all of you.

Do not leave me.

I still got some Bollywood

dance moves going on.

All right, ladies!

Hey, what's your name?

Lola, watch this.

Hey, where's my watch?

- Sir?

- Where's my watch?

- We leave.

- No.

- Yes.

- No, hey.

Where's my watch?

Sir, Please.

Give it back.

And how about my wallet?

What's wrong with you?

Sir, we need to go.

Then go.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, where am I?

Sir, not good Place.

No, no, no.

Where am I?

I don't understand.

How did I get here?

I'm all screwed up,

man.

Sir, this okay.

Sir, Please, Please.

We're dying.

Annika, she dying.

Sir, I help you.

Why you no help?

- I watch for you.

- You're being dramatic.

Times are tough

everywhere.

No, Please.

And stop Pestering

People like me...

...to give you

food and money.

Get a job,

feed your own kid.

It's not my deal, okay?

I don't have kids.

I don't have a wife.

I don't have a girlfriend anymore.

I have no idea

where I am.

- Please.

- This isn't my deal.

I'm sorry.

Annika not eaten

for three days.

No food.

She dying.

I help, why you no help?

Please, sir! Please.

Listen, okay?

You get me back

to my hotel.

My hotel, all right?

I'll help you,

I Promise.

Welcome back, sir.

Please, sir.

Dalit not allowed.

What do you mean, not allowed?

Of course you're allowed.

Come on,

it'll be fine.

- You're with me.

- Sir, they not let us.

I feel like

I'm gonna get sick.

Welcome back, sir.

Good to see you.

They're okay, yeah?

Who are they?

It's okay for them?

Trust me, no. You are not

supposed to be alone with them, actually.

- They are not from here.

- You're joking, right?

Please, Mr. Welles.

Please come inside. Please.

Please, Mr. Welles.

Please come inside.

I have to go inside.

Sir, come back,

give us your help.

- We wait.

- I'll come back, okay?

- Please.

- I'll come back.

Please, sir.

Please come inside.

We wait.

Sir, we wait.

Take them out. Go from here.

Buenos dias,

morning muffin!

Hello!

Turn the TV down.

- Hey, come on.

- Come on, buddy.

What time is it?

You should be asking

what day it is, bro.

You've been in bed

for the last two days.

Tell me you're kidding.

He's tired.

We went to the management

to see if you were in a coma...

...and we came and you were

Passed out.

We checked your Pulse,

you were alive, and then we left.

- You left?

- Yeah.

- Seriously?

- Dude.

- That's Perfect.

- The Taj? Awesome.

Taj Mahal.

Listen, we took a flight to Delhi...

...then took a train to the Taj,

no joke, it was sick.

Got back

this afternoon, homes.

What's he doing?

Please tell me you're kidding.

No. It's like

flying to Vegas, dude.

Oh, no.

Sweetie, did we

hurt your feelings?

No, no, you guys

are great.

- Yeah, great.

- He's Pouting.

Don't give us

sh*t here, man.

I'm so sorry,

Pookie bear.

We're not your mom, man.

Why are you upset?

My mom wouldn't leave me in the street

Passed out in a third-world country.

We left you in

a super swank hotel, man.

- A Presidential suite.

- All right.

- For two days.

- No big deal. It's all about the hotel.

- We were drunk.

- Whatever.

- Like, drunk.

- I'm leaving.

I'd rather be sick

in my own bed at home than here alone.

You are not alone, okay?

We are here for you.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. What are friends for?

Dude, I will...

You're here for me,

once every few days or so.

Dude, lighten up.

We're in India.

We are in India.

Doesn't matter. I'm calling my dad.

I'm taking a first class

back to my own bed...

...so you guys

need to leave. Get out.

- Can you grab me a fresh beer, bro?

- Give me that apple.

You guys, seriously.

Come on.

Have a nice day.

I'm glad you had fun.

Out.

You have your own rooms.

Wow, okay, well.

Thanks for having

us over, sweetie Pie.

See you in the O.C.!

I need a direct line

to America, Please.

Annika!

Annika!

Annika!

Annika!

Please stop.

I'm coming.

I already told you, okay?

This isn't my deal.

I will not take responsibility

for your stupidity.

Life is about

choices, man.

We're not friends.

I don't need you.

How many times

do I need to tell you?

I learned a long time ago

that you are not to be trusted.

You failed me

when I needed you most.

Why would I ever choose

to trust you again?

Hey!

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