Nothing Is Private Page #2

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what's wrong with wearing a tampon...

...when your father

explicitly tells you not to?

Because there is definitely

something wrong with that.

Like there is something wrong

with shaving...

...when your mother tells you not to

or asking someone else to, in your case.

I never asked. He volunteered.

You know what?

I don't wanna talk about this anymore.

Hang up now, and call your father.

Hi.

[WOMAN LAUGHlNG]

Don't be nervous.

Why were you jumping around like that?

I just couldn't get comfortable.

TRAVlS:

What the hell?

Jasira, why are you looking

at these magazines?

Zack, give me that magazine.

Go wait for me in your room.

And you messed them all up too.

I would've expected more

from you than this, Jasira.

Don't you know you're not supposed to

look at stuff like that? You're too young.

Plus, it's for men.

I'm sorry.

Look....

Do you like looking at those magazines?

-No.

-No?

I have to go home.

All right.

Fine. You go home.

Are you gonna tell my daddy?

No, I'm not gonna tell your daddy.

Come here.

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Come here.

You still wanna go home?

All right.

Go home.

Wait. You gotta pay a toll.

That's right.

You gotta pay a toll of $5.

All right, you go.

I'll get it later.

RlFAT:

Finally, a woman I actually like.

Normally, I wouldn't care for a woman

to invite a man to dinner...

...but Thena's different. Thena is Greek.

Sophisticated, you know?

Not a peasant like American women.

-She sounds nice.

-Nice?

Jasira, we're celebrating here.

Here, have a sip of my beer.

Come on.

You like it?

I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to write a letter

to your grandmother in Beirut.

I don't even know her.

She loves you very much.

"Dear Grandma.

I miss you a lot. I live with Daddy now.

And we live in a very, very nice house.

Daddy's engaged to a woman from NASA.

And he is a--" What?

I may very well

get married to this woman.

She likes me very much.

[SPEAKlNG lN FRENCH]

[STUDENTS SPEAKlNG lN FRENCH]

TEACHER:

Tricky one.

[TEACHER SPEAKS lN FRENCH]

[STUDENTS SPEAK lN FRENCH]

Excellent. That was very good.

[WOMAN MOANlNG]

[THENA LAUGHlNG]

THENA:

Your mustache tickles.

Oh, Jasira.

Bonjour.

This is Thena Panos.

THENA:

Jasira.

Hi.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

[RlFAT SPEAKlNG lN FRENCH]

-Thena, Jasira's a wonderful babysitter.

-Really?

You should see how this kid next door

loves her.

Although his dad is an Army Reservist.

He found out I'm Lebanese,

and now he thinks I'm in love with Saddam.

Oh, God. That's so typical.

I only let Jasira work for him

so she can save for college. Right?

JASlRA:
Mm-hm.

-And what do you want to do, Jasira?

You know, you could be a model.

You're so beautiful.

RlFAT:

Yeah, she wants to be an engineer.

Oh, no. You don't be an engineer.

You be a model...

...and then you make a lot of money...

...and then you spend your life traveling.

No, Thena. Don't put ideas in her head.

We're just having a conversation.

THENA:

That way.

This way.

Rifat, we're ready.

That's the Reservist.

I guess he didn't have duty this weekend.

Rifat, doesn't Jasira look beautiful?

She really could be a model.

Yeah, she looks great.

What is he doing? Digging for oil?

THENA:

You're so sweet. And you look beautiful.

-Bye, Jasira.

-Bye.

-I hope I see you again soon.

-Well, I hope so too.

Wash your face.

I don't want you wearing makeup.

Are you digging for oil?

[TRAVlS LAUGHS]

No. No.

It's for a flagpole.

Your father let you wear makeup?

How old are you?

Thirteen.

Wow.

Wow, you look older.

I miss looking at your magazines.

Why?

They make me have orgasms.

Get out of here.

[DOORBELL RlNGS]

You have to do this

if you're gonna fly the flag at all times.

Otherwise,

you have to take it down at sunset...

...then put it back up at sunrise.

Like that idiot next door.

What is he trying to prove,

that he's more patriotic?

Well, he's not.

It's more patriotic to fly the flag

all the time.

-She got fat on her honeymoon.

-She's pregnant, stupid.

[DOORBELL RlNGS]

JASlRA:

Hi.

I'm Jasira, and this is Zack.

[SOUL ll SOUL'S "BACK TO LlFE"

PLAYS ON STEREO]

-We came to get our birdies back.

-Birdies?

We knocked them into your yard

while you were gone.

Oh, you mean shuttlecocks.

Yeah, sure. Come on in.

Shuttlecocks.

I'm Melina, by the way.

So, what grades are y'all in?

JASlRA:

I'm in eighth. He's in fifth.

What is this?

That's my husband Gil's old house

in Yemen.

He dug toilets for the Peace Corps.

Bend your legs and squat.

Even more. As far as you can,

without your butt touching the floor.

That's how they go to the bathroom.

They just dig a hole in the floor.

Can you imagine doing that

when you're pregnant?

All right, Jasira, let's--

Let's go.

Jasira? What kind of name is that?

-It's a towelhead name.

-Don't you use that word in my house.

Bye.

JASlRA:
People next door came back

from their honeymoon.

I know. That woman

needs to cover her stomach.

Her name is Melina.

Her husband used to live in Yemen.

We do not call adults by their first name.

-She told me to.

-I don't care what she said.

Just find out what her last name is

and call her that.

This is for you.

-Who's Nathalie Maroun?

-She's your grandmother.

It's in French. I can't read it.

What do you mean?

Aren't they teaching you French at school?

I just started.

Jasira.

Ask your teacher for help.

"Dearest Jasira.

I am crying as I write you this.

I want to hold you

and squeeze your cheeks...

...and tell you how beautiful you are,

but I have never even seen you."

-Hey.

-"This is not how things should be.

Please tell your father

to bring you to Beirut very soon.

It is important for you to know

your Lebanese family."

BOY:
She's Lebanese.

DENlSE:
"l love you very much."

BOY:
I thought she was a Mexican.

DENlSE:
"Grandma."

[TEACHER SPEAKS lN FRENCH]

[DENlSE SPEAKS lN FRENCH]

And I think we should all

say merci to Jasira...

...for letting us translate her letter.

[STUDENTS SPEAK lN FRENCH]

Nice letter, raghead.

Yeah, Jizz-ira.

How come you never told us

you were a diaperhead?

Sand n*gger.

Hey, I'm Thomas.

I'm sorry I called you that name.

It's okay.

No, it's not. You should never let anybody

call you names like that.

Long time no see, towelhead.

Don't call me that.

Okay. Camel jockey.

-Shut up.

-Okay. Sand n*gger.

Ow!

You're in big trouble, towelhead.

I'm gonna tell my dad,

and he's gonna tell your dad.

And you're gonna get fired!

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

[DOORBELL RlNGlNG]

TRAVlS:

Jasira, what are you thinking? Huh?

Don't you know enough

not to hit a small child?

I'm sorry.

I want to speak to your father.

-Where is he?

-He's at his girlfriend's.

I want my magazine back.

Go on, get my magazine.

Go on.

Go and get my f***ing magazine.

Please. I'll get the magazine.

Don't.

Ah. You're hurting me.

Ah!

You're hurting me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my-- I'm sorr--

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I swear to God,

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