O Lucky Man! Page #6

Miss Hunter, send a memo

to the chief accountant.

A gratuity of 740 pound per annum

to his widow.

Fix the funeral for Wednesday,

Golders Green.

And get me Vancouver.

Pity about Stewart.

Brilliant man, of course, but an

academic.

Couldn't run a toffee shop.

In business there's an animal who

succeeds

and an animal who doesn't.

That may be my call to Vancouver.

Vancouver, Canada, Sir James.

Charles? James.

I talked to the board.

Unanimous decision, I'm afraid.

We'll have to have your resignation

by midnight.

No.

Two million dollars compensation

is our maximum.

Well, it's your decision of course.

But if you don't...

...things could be pretty upsetting

for Kitty.

Yes.

Bye.

- Good evening, Sir James.

- Good evening.

- Good evening, Sir James.

- Sorry to keep you.

Had a little hold up at the office.

- My assistant, Michael...

- Travis.

- Travis.

- Morrison.

- Pleased to meet you.

- This way, sir.

Sir James, how good of you to come.

Mr. President.

My minister of finance,

Mr. Timothy Souza.

- How do you do?

- Madame Paillard.

My home secretary, Mrs. Naidu.

- How do you do?

- Colonel Steiger.

- Colonel.

- Sir.

- Mr. Oswald.

- Sir James.

And the Right Honourable Basil Keyes,

I think you know.

- Basil.

- James.

Do sit down, Sir James.

Morrison, draw the curtains.

Sir James...

...you are a man of business.

You deal in facts and figures.

Well, that is what we are here

to give you today.

My colleagues and I are confident...

...that we can offer you

an association with our country...

...that will be as profitable to you

as to ourselves.

Film please, Brewster.

The coastline of Zingara...

...an uninterrupted stretch of golden

sand,

perfect for swimming, water sports...

...and all the leisure facilities

demanded by holiday makers...

...from the industrial centres

in Europe and the Americas.

The island already boasts one large

hotel.

Visitors can take their ease in

surroundings

of luxury and sophistication.

- A brandy, please.

- Yes, sir.

Picturesque entertainment

is provided by Zingaran natives...

...performing their age-old rituals...

...for patrons of our holiday lodges

in the hill district.

Here in surroundings of peace and

calm...

...staffs are being specially trained

satisfy

European demands for courtesy and

service.

A massive program of hotel

construction

is already underway.

Experienced European engineers

are supervising the native labour

force...

...in the construction

of the Zingara Continental Hotel.

Your brandy, sir.

The completed hotel,

with its splendid public facilities...

...provides 500 rooms.

Each with colour television

and private bathroom.

Thank you, Brewster.

Very attractive.

But your plans for industry?

Our free export zone

will offer generous advantages...

...to all concerns

financed by foreign capital.

Repatriation of profits?

Mr. Souza.

Guaranteed to any country

you care to nominate.

Venezuela, the Vatican,

Liechtenstein, et cetera.

Oh, thanks very much.

Labour costs?

My home secretary, Mrs. Naidu,

will explain the favourable

arrangements...

...we are planning for this area.

Labour conditions in Zingara

offer excellent opportunities...

...for the foreign investor.

Rates of pay and working conditions

are regulated by the government.

Consequently, strikes and slowdowns

are a thing unknown.

Film, Brewster, please.

The efficiency and variety of our

light

industrial installations are a joy to

behold.

The Bumangi sausage factory

has a daily output of over 2000

pounds...

...prime first-quality sausages.

All 75 percent genuine meat.

Special attention is paid to

cleanliness.

Experience has shown that

production levels benefit

considerably...

...when the sexes are segregated.

The workers' living quarters

are also segregated.

Here is an ultra-modern male workers'

camp

on the outskirts of Bikana.

Their women are housed in a similar

camp

some 35 miles distant.

Male workers are paid the equivalent

of 7 New-English pence per day...

...and females, at 3.

Foreign technicians are welcome

in Zingara.

Life for our foreign visitors

will be fully commensurate...

...with the standards of living

and convenience...

...enjoyed by their colleagues in

America

or the European Common Market.

They will also be exempted

from all personal income tax.

Thank you.

Thank you, Sir James.

Well, Sir James.

I hope we have convinced you that

Zingara

today presents a unique opportunity...

...for secure investment

and a high rate of return.

There is just one consideration...

...that troubles me, Mr. President.

- Please.

What guarantees can you provide

for the safe-guarding of investment?

I refer, of course,

to the threat of insurrection.

Sir James...

...I will be completely honest.

It is true that a small element

of our people...

...have been attempting to cause

unrest

in our northern territories.

This problem we have firmly in hand.

We're fortunate to have

the services of Colonel Steiger...

...whose achievements in the Congo,

Nigeria and more recently,

Bangladesh...

...must be well-known to you.

I have asked Colonel Steiger himself

to report on the situation.

The rebels number roughly

2000 men and women.

Projection.

They are operating in the northern

territories

in two main groups.

My counter-offensive has taken

the form of a two-pronged blitz...

...blanket bombardment

by artillery and aircraft...

...followed by landings of airborne

policing detachments...

...employing scorched-earth

and random-elimination techniques.

My men are professionals,

experienced in guerrilla warfare.

The rebels are amateurs,

inexperienced and weak in defence.

So insurgent losses are heavy.

Over 300 killed.

Four hundred and fifty captured

and interned.

In view of your undoubted superiority,

Colonel Steiger...

...can you tell us why this

insurrection

still persists?

The terrain is unfavourable, sir.

Jungle and swamp favour the native.

That is why we need honey.

Honey?

Precisely.

Your British honey.

The substance known as PL-45.

Or in the terminology

of my profession, "honey."

Let me show you some examples.

Slide, please.

This is a man who has received

a light exposure to this invaluable

weapon.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

A beer mug full of honey

can create a lethal zone...

...for all forms of terrestrial life

within an area of 15 acres.

Low-flying aircraft spraying PL-45...

...can cover 100 square miles

in two hours.

Thank you.

This is all I need to finish the job.

Impressive.

But you understand, Colonel Steiger...

...that granted supplies

of adequate quantities of honey...

...you are prepared to guarantee

the internal stability of your

territory?

You have my word.

Basil, a moment.

Champagne, monsieur?

- Thank you very much, ma'am.

- Please.

Thank you.

Glad to see you made it, old boy.

Stick with the old man.

You'll run a good wicket. Cheers.

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