Octopussy Page #3

Pay attention, 007!

Pull the top off the pen.

With this ultrasensitive earpiece,

you can listen in on the bug.

The homing device is compatible with

the standard-issue

radio directional finder in your watch.

If you haven't lost it.

(beeping)

That's amazing, Q. It does work.

What's that?

Oh, that's the latest liquid crystal TV.

Hm, very handy!

Mm. Perfect image, Q.

Really, 007!

Look, I haven't time

for these adolescent antics.

- It's the best we can do.

- It's beautiful. Thank you.

Go on, get along! I've got my work to do.

- I'll give you a hand, Q.

- Thank you.

Don't forget this.

Don't let him teach you

any of his bad habits!

Mr Bond, your table is ready.

- I didn't reserve one.

- Your guest is waiting, sir.

This way, please.

Thank you.

You changed your mind.

- I'm glad.

- Are you?

Well, let's put it this way.

You are the least lethal and

by far the prettiest of Kamal's friends

that I've come across.

Thank you.

So does he have a proposition for me,

or do you?

He suggests a trade.

The egg for your life.

I'd heard the price of eggs was going up,

but isn't that a little high?

Charge it to, er... Room...

Oh, 27.

Along with the champagne, I suppose?

I'll leave it at the desk.

You don't mind?

Why? Has Kamal forgotten

what I look like already?

It's for me.

So that if I depart this world suddenly

you'll have something

to remember me by?

Something like that.

It's for my scrapbook.

I collect memories.

Well, let's get on with making a few.

- I need refilling.

- Hm?

Of course you do!

Oh. I'll get some more.

Don't bother.

We'll make yours a loving cup.

What a good idea.

Forgive my curiosity, but what is that?

That's my little octopussy.

Good morning!

Morning.

I didn't want to wake you.

But since you're up,

I can say a proper goodbye.

What is the time?

(beeps)

Beautiful view, isn't it?

- I don't know how to say goodbye.

- Actions speak louder than words.

You're so right.

(man) In! Out! In! Out!

In! Out!

Come on, girls! In!

Out!

Check oars!

(birdsong)

The egg has been recovered.

You should be pleased.

(woman) I'm not pleased

it was stolen in the first place.

Nor that the thief

knows enough to bring it here.

He's obviously an adventurer

with possible blackmail on his mind.

Anyway, I have him as my guest

at the Monsoon Palace.

And he will tell us

all he knows very quickly.

- Who is he?

- Englishman.

Likes eggs. Preferably Faberg.

And dice. Preferably loaded.

His name is James Bond.

Bring him here.

(Kamal) He's dangerous. After he's talked,

we must get rid of him immediately.

No.

A "no" from you

has little chance of becoming a "yes".

I assume, therefore,

that the meeting is over.

But you're making a serious mistake.

(beeping)

(beeping quickens)

(knock at door)

Well, so far I can't complain

about the valet service.

Dinner. 8 o'clock.

(locking)

- Good evening, Mr Bond.

- Good evening.

Well rested?

I believe you and Miss Magda have met.

- It was a pleasure.

- You're too kind.

You don't mind if we start?

The souffl can't wait.

At the risk of appearing

to be making light dinner conversation,

may I ask exactly why I am here?

I mean, after all, you do have the egg.

True. But we don't have all the answers.

Well, supposing, for argument's sake,

I don't feel like talking?

Don't worry, you will.

You will.

Let me guess.

Thumbscrews and hot coals.

Hardly! We're much more

sophisticated than that.

- Er... Sodium Pentothal?

- A bit crude. Very unreliable.

We prefer curare with

an effective psychedelic compound.

Guaranteed results.

- But with permanent brain damage.

- An unfortunate side effect.

Ah! One of our specialities.

Stuffed sheep's head.

It's odd,

but when I'm stared at

I seem to lose my appetite.

Oh, thank you for dinner.

Until tomorrow, then.

- Well, I'll say good night.

- I could come in for a nightcap.

Some other time, perhaps.

I don't suppose you'd care for a nightcap?

No.

(birds screech)

(whirr of helicopter)

(INAUDIBLE)

(snoring)

(Kamal) I trust you had a pleasant flight.

If you step this way,

I think you will find everything is in order.

(watch beeping)

I congratulate you on the quality of

your workmanship, Prince Kamal Khan.

Thank you, General Orlov.

As you can see, each piece

has been meticulously duplicated

according to Lenkin's specifications.

Good! Have it put aboard the helicopter.

(gives order in Hindi)

(Orlov) Can they be trusted?

(Kamal) I assure you of their silence.

(Kamal) We are both playing

for enormous stakes.

I get what I want,

then you get the genuine jewellery.

- Exactly...

- (interference)

The precise timing will be essential.

(interference)

Remember:
Nothing must be changed.

(interference)

(Orlov) One week from today,

in Karl-Marx-Stadt.

- Karl-Marx-Stadt!

- Correct!

(footsteps)

(talking in Hindi)

(door shuts)

- Everything taken care of?

- As you ordered, Excellence.

- So, you recovered it?

- From an accomplice of the thief.

He must be eliminated at once!

(crackling)

There must be no further security breach.

This fake has caused enough trouble.

I must go.

(Orlov) Everything

has been most satisfactory.

(Kamal) Most kind, General Orlov.

Get Bond!

(shouting in Hindi)

The Englishman has escaped.

He won't go very far. We'll track him.

(shouting and whistling)

(elephant trumpets)

Ooh!

Oooh! Ya-ha!

(petrified screams)

Good!

Let the sport commence.

Ooh! Agh! Yieeehhh!

(growling)

(gives orders in Hindi)

Head him off! Head him off!

(shouting in Hindi)

(roars)

Sit!

We have him! We have him!

Go round! Go round! He's in there!

Hiss off.

(birds squawking)

(shouts in Hindi)

(Tarzan-like jungle call)

(gunfire)

Ow!

Ugh!

(elephant trumpets)

Don't let him get away!

(gunfire)

(shouts in Hindi)

Hey!

- C'mom, buddy, c'mon!

- Give him some room.

- Hey, you all right, buddy?

- I'm fine.

- Are you with our group?

- No, ma'am. I'm with the economy tour.

Mr Bond is indeed a very rare breed.

Soon to be made extinct!

Genus Hapalochlaena. Produces a venom

that's invariably fatal in seconds.

The barge had that sign.

Yes. It belongs to a fabulously wealthy

woman who lives on the floating palace.

Who is she?

No one knows her real name,

but she's known as Octopussy.

That's the name I heard at Kamal's.

I hear that island's full of

beautiful women. No men allowed.

Really? Sexual discrimination.

I'll definitely have to pay it a visit.

(sitar music and women laughing)

(gong)

Good evening.

I wondered when you might arrive.

So you are the mysterious Octopussy.

And you are James Bond.

Am I to be your target for tonight?

Not necessarily.

Depends how much you tell me

about jewellery smuggling.

And why one of our agents

was killed in East Berlin.

I know nothing about that.

You remember Major Dexter Smythe?

You were sent out to arrest him,

weren't you?

You seem to have done your homework.

Thank you. Yes. Smythe, after a brilliant

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