Odd Girl Out Page #4

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How could you not like Nell? She is

really tidy and smart, way smart!

Kinda cute, especially when she

does that thing with her nose.

We get along really well.

- Yeah, we're actually very close.

- Closest.

Real homies.

- To the end, bro.

- Don't overdo it.

Now that we've got that cleared

up, here's what we're gonna do.

We close our eyes, count to three -

and when we open them up, we'll

be back in our right bodies.

If that's OK with you -

which I'm sure it is, since this

is just a big misunderstanding we can

laugh about in years to come.

Let's do it.

One...

...two...

...three.

Maybe he only speaks Mexican?

So what are we gonna do next,

buy him an enchilada?

I had my heart set on Yale.

No, please, not the tears, please?

You think I wanna end up

in my dad's spatula store?

You don't know.

Wait, wait!

You beat up Nicky.

You have my body, my strength.

All I need to do is

show you how to use it.

And we could study so you

could get through my interview.

Huh?

musicOrson:
Tryin' to Help/music

Ready?

As hard as you like.

Come on.

Once the sign is given -

the center snaps the

ball to the quarterback...

and the game begins.

Are you with me so far?

The offence has a

limited amount of time...

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake

the darling buds of May.

And summer's lease hath

all too short a date.

So, he's not actually

saying that she's like a...

summer's day? He say she is

hot like a summer's day?

Yeah, that's it exactly!

Right, you know, I still

can't imagine ever...

actually saying something

like that to someone.

Feel like so uncool.

Maybe you'd just have

to meet the right...

person to say that kind of stuff to.

Or maybe I just don't

wanna look like a doofus.

Well, Shaky must really have liked that

one. She must have been some babe.

Actually, Shakespeare

wrote this to a young man.

- Shakespeare was a homo?

- We don't know that exactly.

You write a poem to

a guy telling him...

how hot he is and you

don't know exactly?

Gees, what do you have to do

before you know exactly?

Write an ode to a schlong?

I think that's enough for today.

The bard was a bender.

Who would've though?

See you tomorrow.

Good night.

Listen, I was wrong about

your parents. They're...

alright once you get used

to your mom's language.

Mom's pretty cool.

Woody, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

In the morning...

- Never mind.

- What?

- No, it's nothing really.

- Go on.

It's a little embarrasing but...

...every morning you...

...have this thing...

- The thing that you...

- What?

You know, every morning?

- You mean the old boner.

- That's not the word I would have used.

Boy, do I miss that guy.

I'm sure you do. What I'd like to

know:
how can I get rid of it?

Only one way I know of.

That's disgusting...

...and there's got to

be another way, right?

Well, there is one thing that I

do in case of emergencies...

...sort of lets the air out of the

old tire, if you know what I'm saying.

First I close my eyes,

and I think of you.

- Works every the time.

- Good night.

See ya!

- Hey, you want one?

- No, thanks.

You've had it quiet up

there tonight. Are you OK?

Yeah, I was just studying with Nell.

Is that what you young people

are calling it these days?

- Nell's not that kind of girl.

- I know.

She's a good kid.

You know, way back,

her dad Ted and I used...

to hang out together.

He was a good guy, Ted.

He still is.

I mean, as far as I know.

What ever happened between you two?

Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess.

She didn't really approve.

We weren't her kind of people.

Good night, son.

Good night, dad.

Oh god, she's crying.

Chanel?

Are you OK?

Oh crap...

What's wrong?

It's about Harry. He's

seeing some other girl.

No, he wouldn't do that.

Well, how come I saw him with

his tongue stuck down her throat.

Did you see who it was?

No, they were in his car. But I

saw what they were doing clear enough.

Why are guys such jerks?

Why am I asking you, you know less about

guys than anybody on the planet.

I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean that.

- You're right.

What do I know about guys?

I was so stupid. I know how Horse is.

Why do you go out with them?

Cause when I started at

Westdale I felt invisible.

And then I started going out

with Horse and I became friends -

with Breanna and

Tiffany and Woody and...

everyone. And then people

started to notice me.

And I liked that.

So, I guess I'm just afraid

of feeling invisible again.

You know I think that a lot more

people feel that way than you realize.

You do.

You go your own way no

matter what anyone thinks.

I admire you, Nell.

And this is Mr. Stinky,

you have to say hello.

Why did you bring that pencil

neck to our sleepover?

Nell's OK.

She just wants to hang, right?

Carey told me we're all

going in our jammies.

I see you finally seen the

errors of your geekish ways?

I have. This girl

just wants to have fun.

OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's!

Oh man!

Life is such a b*tch.

Lock target in 5 and will

you check out that ass!

What about Chanel?

No, don't see her.

Think about it Harry -

are you willing to betray

the love of a good...

woman for the cheap thrill

of a one night stand?

You crack me up, you know that boy.

You were always into the

'faithful' but I'm the Horse -

and Horse people knows of

no such boundaries. And plus -

at night I'm a locked target

You know what happens. A few drinks,

quality control goes out the window -

and before you know

it, you're sucking...

face with some swill

muncher from downtown.

Or worse still. I end up here with you -

drunk on some dark street

telling you I love you.

And you know me doesn't

want that to happen, homie.

Let's go to a party.

musicSugababes:
Red Dress/music

musicSugababes:
Red Dress/music

So Breanna, you're not

seeing Woody anymore?

That is so over.

Such a shame. I mean, you

guys were the perfect couple.

Duh. I was only seeing him

because he's the football captain.

Without me, he's just another dumb

jock with his brains in his shorts.

Which is convenient because not

much else is going on down there.

Loser! Drink up, man!

musicSugababes:
Push

the Button/music

musicSugababes:
Push

the Button/music

Manicure, pedicure, face

masks. Are we done yet?

Nell, I couldn't help noticing that

you're a little on the hairy side.

Down below.

You've got sort of a

rainforest thing going on.

You're not supposed to be bushy?

- We've all gone totally latino.

- Totally.

Really?

You should too.

You know, we could do

it for you right now.

Latino.

What the hell, let's do it!

OK girls, we've got a green

light on the Brazilian wax.

Tiffany, bring me scissors

and depilatory strips.

Chanel, I'm gonna need

towels and hot water.

Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly...

One more, give me one more!

Bite down on this.

On three. One...

Maybe this is a bad idea.

Did I say you I love you, man?

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