Oddball Page #3

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(BARKING CONTINUES)

Oddball, go back to sleep.

I'll check on Missy.

(BARKS)

(CHICKENS SQUAWK)

(MISSY BARKS)

What is it, Missy?

What do you see, girl?

(MISSY BARKS)

(MISSY CONTINUES BARKING)

(FOX GROWLS)

- (FOX GROWLS)

- (CHIRPS)

(GROWLS)

- (BARKING)

- (PENGUIN SQUAWKS)

What's happening?

(BARKING CONTINUES)

(BARKS)

Well...

Well, I'll be blowed.

(CHIRPS)

(GROWS)

We can't use Missy, anyway.

She's gotta stay here.

- And look after you girls.

- (CLUCKS)

Huh? No, Karen, this can work.

I mean, we save the penguins,

everything goes back

to the way it was.

Oddy's got it in him somewhere.

I mean, he's a Maremma dog. It's

what they're supposed to do.

Plus... penguins

are just chickens in tuxedos.

- (CLUCKING)

- Yeah, I know.

I know, Barbara.

It's risky. It's Oddball.

You know, if it goes south,

he's done for.

But if this works,

and Oddball can pick up

just a few brownie points

in the bargain,

then whacko-the-diddly-oh, huh?

- Am I right?

- (CLUCKING)

Yeah! I'm right, aren't I?

Thanks for the chat.

- (LOUD CLUCKING)

- (CROWS)

- Okay. Are your eyes closed?

- Yep.

- Alright. Keep 'em closed.

- They are.

- They still closed?

- Yep.

Alright. Hang on a minute.

Don't open them yet.

- (SIGHS) Done yet?

- Not yet.

- OLIVIA:
Now?

- Come on, mate.

Alright. Now open them.

- (PENGUIN CHIRPS)

- (GASPS) Oh!

- (SWAMPY CHUCKLES)

- Stay.

It's alright.

You can get closer.

OLIVIA:
Hello, little one.

(SOFTLY) Oh, wow.

- (CHIRPS)

- (GIGGLES)

- What's his name?

- Oh, well, you tell me.

Pocket. We'll call him Pocket.

Well, in that case,

young Pocket there's

- got a crook wing.

- (BARKS)

But pretty soon

he'll be right to go home.

He won't have a home

for much longer, Grandad.

Oh, that's part two

of the surprise.

Come here for a minute.

SWAMPY:
As we know, Oddball

isn't much chop on the farm.

But it turns out that...

what he lacks

in looking after chickens...

he makes up for

in taking care of penguins.

"(CHIRPS)" (WHINES)

(LAUGHS)

Grandad, you're a genius!

Yeah, well,

right now it's just a theory.

That's where you come in.

I'm gonna need your help.

Before we put that dog

on the island,

we gotta

come up with some tests

to make sure he's up for it.

Don't you think taking him

to the island is pretty risky?

Yeah, but, you know,

if you want the biscuit,

you gotta risk it.

- (LAUGHS)

- (CHUCKLES) Now, listen.

Not a word to Mum, okay? She's got

enough on her plate right now.

I knew she was wrong about

you not knowing how to help.

- Let's get to work.

- Great!

- (CHIRPS)

- (GRUMBLES)

We've got so much to do,

so I've devised a plan.

Fox, we have to make sure.

Oddy will be merciless

in the face of the enemy.

Flocks, we have to make sure

he'll protect lots of penguins.

Rocks, we have

to make sure Oddy,

- who's just a house dog...

- (ODDBALL BARKS)

can cope with

the rough terrain.

Right. So... fox.

- Flocks. Rocks.

- (BARKS)

- I like it.

- (BARKS)

If he passes the tests,

we secretly

put him on Middle Island,

which means

figuring out a way

to get Mum off the scene.

I gotta figure out a way

of getting that stick

- out of your hand.

- Um...

That's still in the

concept development stage.

Concept what?

Where do you hear this stuff?

- (BARKS)

- Bradley. He talks a lot.

If it works, we surprise Mum,

get council to change their

minds and Oddball is a hero.

('LARGO AL FACTOTUM'

BY ROSSINI PLAYS)

You know, he was bred by

the Italians to guard emperors,

so maybe this opera music

will kick him into gear.

(GROWLS) I'm a fox!

(GROWLS)

('LARGO AL FACTOTUM' PLAYS)

- (BARKS)

- Yeah. Yeah! No. No.

La, la, la

La, la, la, le, la

- La, la, la...

- Get him. Get him!

Chicken egg

and this one's a penguin egg.

Are you looking? That one.

Now. Find the penguin egg.

La, la, la, la

Oh! Presto a Bottega...

- That's a tennis egg.

- (GRUNTS)

- La, la, la, la...

- That way.

Oh!

Ah, che bel vivere

- Che bel piacere...

- What's that?

Che bel piacere

Per un...

"No!"

Di qualit Di qualit...

- (COUGHS) Oh, yuck!

- (CHUCKLES)

Ah, bravo, Figaro

Bravo, bravissimo, bravo...

SWAMPY:
If it smells like

fox wee, he'll attack it.

- (BARKS)

- Oh, jeez.

(OLIVIA LAUGHS)

Ah, bravo, Figaro!

Bravo, bravissimo!

That's it. I give up.

Fortunatissimo Fortunatissimo

Fortunatissimo per verit!

- La, la, la, la...

- (BARKS)

He was so good with Pocket.

- What's different?

- (BARKS)

I know, I know! I know! I know!

(CHIRPS)

(BARKS)

Bravo

Fig...

OLIVIA:
It's the penguin.

It's like with real penguins...

- He's got half a clue.

- La, la, la, la, la, la...

- (LAUGHS)

- La, la, la, la, la, la!

(SOME CONCLUDES)

EMILY:
Look, there's talk of

moving them to another island.

Because... No, I mean, we're

down to 17 penguins, guys.

But this is their home.

They're just gonna swim back.

Look, I know,

but nothing's working,

so... how about a final push?

Zoe, I need more fox traps

and poison.

We should do a count

each morning. And, Jack...

I think I need you here

every night.

Every...? Yeah. Yeah.

Never mind.

I'll... I'll figure it out.

ZOE:
Oh, this is totally gonna

make a difference, isn't it?

(TEARFULLY) I'm sorry, Mum.

JUDGE:
All in favour

of the beekeeping tours?

- All opposed?

- ALL:
Nay.

Motion denied.

Sorry, Eloise. Maybe

if you had fewer stings, dear.

BRADLEY:
You know...

(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm under a lot of pressure

to get things moving here

after the Maritime

Village mess.

I feel like the community

doesn't really

have a place

in the tourist initiative.

They're relevant

because they live here.

More listening, less talking.

Who's next?

Rich, from the Whale Watchers.

- Afternoon, council members.

- Here we go again.

RICH:
This town has

an incredible untapped asset.

Every day,

the southern right whale

swims along our shores,

just going to waste.

I doubt the whales

see it that way.

You can't just come here and say

the same thing every meeting.

Those lovely creatures deserve

a state-of-the-art facility.

BRADLEY:
Sorry, gentlemen,

I'm gonna stop you right there.

The first thing that I explored

when I came to town

was a whale watching centre.

There's no place for it.

All of the good vantage points

along the coast

are either owned by farmers

who will not sell,

or they're

government-protected.

RICH:
Well, yes,

that is the case right now.

But... what if

in the very near future,

there was a place

to build our centre?

Plus we'd have a gift shop,

so... cha-ching.

Enough of this.

Judge, call a vote.

I'm sorry, Mayor, just

one moment, have you found

a suitable location

for a whale watching centre?

- Seems we've found a loophole.

- Yeah.

Really? Well, I'm surprised

that I didn't find that.

I am a huge fan of loopholes.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, ladies and gentlemen,

the Maritime Village

will reopen.

That's a given.

But this... this is...

Well, this is the logical

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