Odette Toulemonde Page #2

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I'm no good at polemic.

Well, that's exactly the problem:

you're too nice, too friendly!

Well, I'm not going to

change, to make myself...

...the same as them just to please them.

When we suffer, we can bite

Well, no, actually!

When I suffer, I don't want anything.

You're no picnic, are you!

You're too sensitive Balthazar,

too sensitive. Really!

Too delicate!

If I wasn't delicate, how would I write?

I'm not happy with myself.

Why?

Because I couldn't tell Balthazar Balsan

how important he is in my life.

I was caught short.

Rudy

- No, but you saw him in the flesh

- That's great!

That's true - he's got a nice arse...

You should write to him!

- eh?

Yeah, write to Balthazar Balsan.

- What?

You don't think it's weird,

writing to a writer?

Why should it be weird?

I don't know..

Someone who writes badly writing to

someone who writes well.

Well, there's such a thing

as a bald hairdresser.

That one there!

Dear Mr. Balsan,

I never write, because, although

I can write, I can't write poetry.

And I need poetry to explain to you

the importance of your books in my life.

In fact, I owe you my life!

Without you, I would have

killed myself 20 times!

I'm so stupid!

Once would have done the trick.

What's for dinner?

Seafood bake.

- Yuk

Paulo doesn't really like seafood.

Well, you can make him

something else, honey.

He's your boyfriend, not mine.

Well, actually, seafood bake will be ok.

He can eat what's put in front

of him and that's the end of it.

I'm not his skivvy!

I've only loved one man:

my husband, Antoine.

He's still as handsome, slim and young.

It's incredible, he hasn't changed at all.

Of course, he's been dead for 10 years,

that helps!

I've never wanted to replace him.

That's my way of loving him forever.

Bloody stupid TV!

Turn it off then, honey!

No-one's forcing you to watch it.

How did your interviews go?

Same as always

- What do you mean, same as always?

I don't meet the required criteria.

Don't tell me you went dressed like that!

Like a crate-packer!

Sue-Ellen! Couldn't you put on

something a bit more feminine?

What are you insinuating?

Should I pinch my brother's clothes?

That'd make me more feminine!

Hello girls!

hi honey!

Come here then!

Come and say hello to your old Mum.

Hello

- Hello

Alexander... and that hell-hound

over there, that's my sister...

no need to say hello to her.

She's exactly like a dog,

except she doesn't bite.

Thanks! That's really nice!

- You're welcome!

Ok, Alexander and I are going to my room...

we don't want to be disturbed.

No chance of that!

No-one wants to see that horror show.

You should try it more often yourself,

honey. It might cheer you up.

I don't sleep with just anyone!

No! You chose a real loser

and stuck with him.

Get out of here poof!

Sue-Ellen! Don't call your brother a poof!

What! Everyone knows he's a poof!

Yes, but there's no need to point it out.

F***! I want out of this house!

I brought up my two kids by myself:

Sue-Ellen and Rudy.

Rudy's ok, I think: he's a hairdresser,

he makes a living.

He's sweet and happy.

He changes boyfriends

a bit too regularly.

But never mind! He's 19.

He's enjoying himself.

Sue-Ellen's a different matter.

She's moody.

She was born with her back up.

Even in her dreams, she moans.

She's going out with an idiot.

A monkey who builds scooters all day.

but who never brings home a penny.

He's lived with us for two years.

On top of that, he's got a problem:

He stinks.

Oh Odette,

I desperately need your magic touch.

We're going to One-Two-Two tonight

and Philippe's thong has broken.

He refuses to wear another one

when we go to a swinger's night because

he thinks it brings us good luck.

Give it to me, I'll fix it.

Thanks!

- Thanks!

Ok, I'm going to dominate him a bit.

You know, he's really strict with me,

when he takes me to the swingers club

because he always wants me to be at my best.

Starsky and Hutch

Watch out!

Frankly, before I met you, my

life was quite dull.

Dull like a Sunday in Charleroi,

when the sky's grey.

Dull like a washing machine,

which breaks down when you need it.

Dull like an empty bed.

I often felt like downing some

sleeping pills to finish myself off.

Then one day, I read your books.

It was like opening the curtains,

and letting in the light.

In your books, you show that in

every life, even the most miserable...

there's something to be joyful about,

something to laugh about, something to love.

Hello

- ... me...

You show that little people like me

have some worth, too

because even the smallest thing

costs them more than others.

Oh! Thanks, that's really nice!

Look...

Thanks to your books,

I learnt to respect myself.

and to love myself a little.

To become the Odette Toulemonde

that we know today.

A woman who opens her shutters

happily every morning,

and who closes them happily at night.

I should have had your

books injected intravenously...

after the death of my Antoine,

it would have been quicker.

When the day comes, you'll go to heaven,

And God will say to you:

"There are lots of people

who want to thank you...

...for the good you did

on Earth, Mr. Balsan. "

And among those millions of people,

will be Odette Toulemonde.

Odette Toulemonde,

who couldn't wait for that moment.

Mum!

Guess what Alexandre said?

Balthazar Balsan will be in Namur tomorrow.

- What? - It's true, I saw it

on the internet this morning.

Are you sure?

- Sure I'm sure! I wanted to go.

Balthazar Balsan's my favorite author.

What a lovely guy.

Come and sit next to me.

No, no, no, no

- yes, yes, yes, yes

No, no, no Mum! No meetings of the

Balthazar Balsan fan club here.

Coffee?

- Thanks

There are less people than usual,

aren't there?

They say only losers like Balthazar Balsan.

Hello!

- Hello

Do you recognize me?

- Uh.. Yes..

So... let's see... was it last year?

No, we've never met.

I was kidding.

I thought so, or I would have remembered.

So, who do I owe the pleasure?

Toulemonde. Odette Toulemonde.

Pardon?

- Toulemonde, that's my name.

No? Are you joking?

- Pardon?

That's an unusual name!

Not in my family.

So, could you please just put:

"For Odette".

Odette?

Oui, there my parents didn't mess up..

What? It's a beautiful name!

Oh.. You're joking! It's appalling!

- No!

Yes!

- It's Proustian!

Prou...?

- Proustian!:
"In Search of Lost Time"!

Odette de Crecy, the young lady who

Swann is in love with.

I only know puppies called Odette.

Puppies and me!

Right, let's see

- It's true, just puppies!

Besides, everyone forgets my first name.

So that we remember, perhaps I should..

Put on a collar and get stroked.

There, that's for you,

because when I speak to you

I talk rubbish, so I

wanted to write to you.

Ah.. Finally, a man among my readers!

I didn't dare hope.

I hope I'm not hallucinating..

Are you sure you're a man?

Not really, no.

- Ah..

What name should I put?

- Alexandre.

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