Off Limits

This is Dinky Dau

Doug on All-Hits AFVN Radio Saigon.

You just heard the Left Banke

singing all about their "Pretty Ballerina."

Coming up right after the news,

we got a dedication going out...

... to all you guys pulling guard duty

tonight at Quan Loi.

A little something to keep you awake.

We'll be back with more music

in a minute.

This is Channel 54, Saigon.

Time at the automatic tone,

The landing zone occupied by elements...

... of the 1st Infantry Division

at Quan Loi...

... 65 miles north of Saigon...

... received about five rounds

of 107 mm rocket fire.

And an element of...

And we're back with

the hits on AFVN, Channel 54, Saigon.

This is Army Specialist First Class

Doug Ledhart with the music tonight...

... and here's Wilson Pickett

with "Funky Broadway."

Criminal Investigations Detachment.

This is it. This is my life.

The path of my life has led me

to be a f***ing cop...

...in the f***ing cesspool of the world.

I'd say we just give up

on the motherf***er.

This man's service record

says he's a tunnel rat.

For nine months

I've wanted to meet a rat.

Well, I hope you meet one.

- What's the next name on the list?

- Just head over to the Moo-Lon.

I gotta meet my rat.

Yeah, yeah.

This guy here?

Yeah, this dude dinky dau number 10.

Crazy motherfuck.

- He was here?

- Yeah. One hour.

Crazy motherfuck.

Buy cigarette from Plowboy.

Smoking and smoking it.

Fall down.

Get up. Leave.

There. There's Plowboy.

The f***er can run. Out!

No f***ing sh*t.

Motherf***er.

Cut him off!

Slow down, you little f***!

Stand tall, you little f***!

Why you chase?

I don't know why you deal drugs,

Plowboy.

You could have made

this shithole's Olympic team...

...won some medals

and retired to a palace somewhere.

I no deal. Plowboy farmer.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Must be a f***ing pill farmer.

This man. Where is he?

- I don't know. Never see.

- "Never see"? You're full of sh*t.

- I'm gonna pull your f***ing nuts off.

- Hey, easy, Babe.

- Easy? He pull a gun on you?

- Yeah.

- He could've shot you.

- Yeah.

Stand the motherfuck up.

Let me go.

- I'm taking them off.

- Hey, hey, easy, Babe.

Remember the last time

you did that to a national?

All those reports?

- It ain't worth the paperwork.

- I don't give a sh*t about paperwork.

I want them nuts. I'm gonna throw

them in the f***ing sewer.

Think about it. Here I come.

I'm gonna take them...

I can't control him, Plowboy.

You better talk to me.

You better talk to me.

Now, do it, Baby. That's it!

Sh*t.

We got mice.

The meeting of hearts and minds

continues, I see.

Don't give me any sh*t, Lime.

He pulled a gun on me.

Vietnamese nationals

are outside your jurisdiction.

Well, we're looking for a deserter

who is in our jurisdiction...

...and your cousin here sold him

a laced stick about an hour ago...

...and might know where he is.

Pull his f***ing nuts off.

Maybe I should file a protest

to the commanding officer.

So you can spend the rest of the tours

in the Long Binh stockade.

We gotta talk to him, Lime.

You're welcome to observe if you like.

You allow me that right?

How conveniently you Americans forget

that Vietnam is not your colony.

He's at the Kit Kat Club.

Lime, if I was a different kind of guy...

...I'd ask you to marry me.

I simply can't wait.

A- Spot 1, this is Landlord.

A- Spot 1, over.

- Where you guys been?

Top wants you over at an apartment

on Vam Co Dong and Minh Streets.

No can do, Landlord.

We're heading over to the Kit Kat

to pop a deserter...

...we've been after for three days.

Send somebody else.

Top just got off the horn with the mice

and he sounded pissed.

Oh, sh*t.

Shh, shh, shh. Yeah, come here.

Come on.

It didn't take you too long.

Where you been, pissing off more MPs?

You heard about that, huh?

You two can be a couple of real jerk-offs,

you know that? I mean, tact.

- Who's your friend?

- Oh, it's a dead woman's kid.

Go away.

You're f***ed up, man.

- Get the f*** out of my way.

What you doing?

You'll be seeing me, motherf***er.

Hey, why so glum, Al?

Hey, Top, don't call me Al.

My mama named me Albaby.

A- L-B-A-B-Y.

In respect to her, please.

Looks like a Vietnamese problem.

What are we doing here?

Yeah, it was,

until somebody found this.

Oh, great.

American. Officer.

Found it in her hand. She's a hooker.

.45, the back of the head and bang-o.

Anything else?

Not much.

Her name was "Nguyen Tao Giap."

Apparently she's new to the area.

Nobody in the building knows her.

Hey, Top. Let me do that.

Let me do that

because I got 13 brothers and sisters.

Yeah.

A neighbor woman here heard the shot.

She's got something to say.

- Where's she now?

- Talking to the mice.

Oh, Colonel Kitts says to coordinate

our investigation with theirs, by the way.

In the interest of better ally relations.

Who's heading up the investigation

for the mice?

Looks like the American's capacity to

enjoy himself has gotten excessive again.

- Nothing's been established yet, Lime.

It will be.

I'm sure you'll do everything to prove

it's not an American who did this.

- You're really starting to pain me, Lime.

- Oh, excusez-moi.

Lime Green.

Ain't that the color of puke?

Sergeant.

The neighbor's ready for questioning.

Appears she was with a black GI who

went next door when he heard the shot.

He didn't come back,

but a couple minutes later...

...she saw him leave the building

following somebody.

She thinks it was the killer.

Ask her if she knows the GI's name

or his unit.

Drippy dick.

No name, no unit, nothing. He was only

with her for a couple minutes.

Her short-arm inspection

revealed he had the clap.

Drippy dick.

Yeah, she says he had a real dose.

Tell her to meet me at VD Control

tomorrow at noon.

No. Me got no VD. I'm very clean.

I'm number one blowj*b girl.

Xin loi, miss.

I'm sure you're as clean as a whistle.

Just tell her to meet me.

And, Rogers, no freebies, okay?

Do you know this girl?

Do you know this girl?

Have you seen this girl?

Do you know this...? Oh, f*** it.

Yeah, right. Nobody knows a thing.

But somebody's got some American scrip

in their pocket.

I'll tell you something, man.

Bullshit and science rule the world.

Where did she come from?

Dubuque.

Stockholm.

She ain't from here.

You know,

that insignia could be total bullshit.

Yeah.

You know who our suspects are?

- Everybody in Saigon.

- Civilians, troops, gangsters, cowboys...

...deserters, refugees, dopers,

black-marketeers.

God...

...I love this town.

I really do.

I'm starting to wonder about you,

my man.

My name is Agent Perkins.

This here's my partner, Agent McGriff.

Now, you men are here...

...for two reasons.

One, is because you're black,

which there ain't no question about.

And two...

...is because you've all recently

been treated for drippy dick.

Dick just dripping.

Sh*t, I can hear your d*cks dripping.

How does it feel?

Black in Nam.

F***ing dick feels

like it's about to drop off.

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