Oh, God! Book II

WHAT A MESS.

EVERY TIME I LOOK

DOWN THERE, IT GETS WORSE.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO STOP

LOOKING DOWN.

MILLIONS OF PLANETS,

AND THAT ONE HAS

ALWAYS BEEN A PROBLEM.

WHY THAT ONE?

I KNOW WHY.

PEOPLE. I HAD TO PU PEOPLE ON IT.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO

DOWN THERE AND LOOK AROUND.

I GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

LET'S SEE, UM...

[THUNDER]

PLEASE, NOT NOW.

I'M THINKING.

TRACY. DON'T FORGE TO WEAR YOUR HAT.

BYE, MOM.

TRACY.

MOM, WHO WEARS HATS?

YOUNG LADIES DO.

AND BESIDES, HATS

ARE COMING BACK.

OH, MOTHER.

WHO KNOWS WHERE:

HE'LL TAKE YOU?

HE'S MY FATHER,

AND YOU KNOW WHERE

HE'S TAKING ME--

TO A MOVIE AND:

A CHINESE RESTAURANT.

HE ALWAYS DOES.

WELL...

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

IN FACT,

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

HI, SHINGO.

THINK FAST.

WANT TO PLAY?

I CAN'T. I'M GOING

WITH MY FATHER.

I LIKE TO GO:

TO THE MOVIES:

AND EA CHINESE FOOD.

I WISH MY PARENTS

WOULD SPLIT...

BUT JAPANESE PARENTS

WOULD NEVER SPLIT.

WHY NOT?

THEY JUST DON'T.

PRETTY GOOD:

FOR A GIRL.

WANT TO TRY AGAIN?

DON'T PRESS YOUR LUCK.

[HORN HONKS]

HEY, HOW'S MY BABY?

OK.

GOOD.

GEE, YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

CAN YOU:

GET THE DOOR?

OK.

SO, UH,

HOW'S SCHOOL?

FINE.

FINE.

LISTEN, YOU CAN GO ALL

OUT TODAY, YOU KNOW?

DOUBLE EGG ROLLS,

EXTRA FORTUNE COOKIE,

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I GOT A NEW:

SPAGHETTI ACCOUNT.

WANT TO HEAR THE SLOGAN

I CAME UP WITH?

YOU READY?

"THE TASTE OF MAMA."

THAT'S IT?

COME ON,

THAT'S ONLY THE SLOGAN.

NOW IMAGINE IT--

THERE'S A BIG PO OF REALLY RICH

TOMATO SAUCE BUBBLING.

SUDDENLY, OUT OF I COME TWO REALLY

DELICIOUS-LOOKING

STRANDS OF SPAGHETTI,

RIGHT? THEN--

PAH TAH T-T-TAH TAH

P-T-TAH TAH

THEY BREAK:

INTO THIS WILD DANCE

TO A DISCO BEAT.

DANCING SPAGHETTI?

WELL, MR. TENESTO

LIKES IT.

THEN I LIKE IT, TOO.

YOU'RE NOT ASKING

WHAT I BROUGHT YOU?

THANKS.

THAT'S IT? THANKS?

YOU'RE NOT GOING

TO OPEN IT?

YOU OPEN IT,

AND A BIG SNAKE:

JUMPS OUT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

OH, DADDY.

YOU AND YOUR TRICKS.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING

TO PULL SOMETHING ON ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

TO YOU...

SO WHAT DO YOU:

WANT TO SEE?

ATTACK FROM:

THE HIDDEN PLANET.

OH, NO, TRACY. NO ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE

TERRIFIC.

YOU SAID THAT ABOU THE ONE LAST WEEK.

SOME THRILLER.

IN ONE SECOND,

A PLANT TURNS:

INTO A PERSON?

COME ON, TRACY.

BUT THEY EXPLAINED IT.

IT WAS BECAUSE THEY CAME

FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

I MEAN,

THEIR SPIRITS DID.

I DIDN'T SEE ANY SPIRITS.

WHAT SPIRITS?

DADDY, YOU CAN' SEE SPIRITS.

TRACY, JUST ONCE

CAN'T WE GO SEE

A NORMAL MOVIE:

WITH LAURENCE OLIVIER

OR...

WALTER MATTHAU?

BENJI. I'LL EVEN

GO SEE A MOVIE:

ABOUT A CUTE DOG. HUH?

JUST BECAUSE:

YOU CAN'T SEE SPIRITS

DOESN'T MEAN

THEY'RE NOT THERE.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE

BELIEVING IN GOD.

SOMETIMES YOU:

JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE

IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE.

OK.

I GOT TO CALL JOAN.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU STILL GOING:

WITH HER?

YEAH.

SHE ISN'T AS PRETTY

AS MOM.

WELL, SHE HAS

OTHER QUALITIES:

I FIND ATTRACTIVE.

HER BIG B*OBS?

GIVE ME A BREAK,

WILL YOU?

MOM SAYS:

SHE HAS BIG B*OBS.

I WONDER WHAT KIND

OF B*OBS I'LL HAVE?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'LL HAVE

THE BUTTERFLY SHRIMP.

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S A PARTY

OF THREE AT 7:
00.

OK, MR. JONES.

COME IN, TRACY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

COME IN.

TRACY, I'D LIKE

TO TALK TO YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I CAN'T SEE YOU.

BUT YOU CAN HEAR ME,

TRACY.

DAD?

I'VE BEEN CALLED

"OUR FATHER,"

BUT NEVER DAD.

AW, COME ON, DAD.

ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR

TRICK VOICES?

YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

WHERE ARE YOU?

TRACY, I'M GOD.

YOURS TRULY FROM

THE FORTUNE COOKIE.

OK, SO YOU'RE GOD.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

TRACY,

I REALLY AM GOD.

I'D LIKE TO KNOW YOU

A LITTLE BETTER.

THAT WOULD BE NICE,

BUT FIRST MAKE UP

WITH MOM.

WHY DON'T WE MEE IN FRONT OF THE STORE

MONDAY?

OH, YEAH. THA WOULD BE GREAT.

TRACY, IF

I'M YOUR FATHER,

WOULDN'T THOSE GIRLS

HEAR ME TALKING?

DID YOU JUST HEAR

THAT MAN'S VOICE?

WHAT VOICE,

HONEY?

WHERE?

TRACY, THEY

CAN'T HEAR ME.

THERE.

DID YOU HEAR IT?

NO.

BUT--BU IF YOU WERE GOD,

WHY WOULD YOU:

BOTHER WITH ME?

TRACY, IT WAS

SOMETHING YOU SAID

THAT SORT OF:

INTERESTED ME--

THAT SOMETIMES YOU

JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE

IN THINGS YOU CAN'T SEE.

WOW! HOW'D YOU KNOW

I SAID THAT?

I KNOW, I SEE, I HEAR.

THIS PLACE IS TOO BUSY.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

WAIT!

DON'T GO YET.

WHERE LATER? HOW?

TRACY.

HUH?

OH, HI, MRS. MANLEY.

WHO WERE YOU:

TALKING TO?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT SURE.

ARE YOU STILL THERE?

HE'S GONE.

YOU OK?

YEAH.

YOU'VE BEEN

AWFUL QUIE SINCE WE LEF THE RESTAURANT.

I'M FINE. I'VE JUS BEEN THINKING.

THINKING?

ABOUT WHAT?

HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE

YOU MIGHT BE DREAMING

EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW

YOU WERE AWAKE?

WOULD YOU LIKE:

TO RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN?

LIKE SOMETHING HAPPENED,

BUT IT'S MORE LIKE

A DREAM THAN REAL.

DAYDREAMING.

YEAH, SURE.

HAPPENS:

TO EVERYBODY.

IT'S OK.

I GOT TO STOP:

BY THE OFFICE:

FOR SOMETHING.

WAIT FOR ME:

IN THE CAR?

OK.

ALL RIGHT?

TRACY, IT'S ME AGAIN.

WHAT? WHAT?

THAT WASN' A DREAM YOU HAD.

IT WAS REAL.

WHERE ARE YOU?

IN THE BACK SEAT.

WELL?

DISAPPOINTED?

OH, GOSH, NO...

GOD, SIR.

WHY--WHY WOULD I BE

DISAPPOINTED, SIR?

ARE YOU REALLY GOD, SIR?

FORGET THE SIR.

JUST PLAIN GOD.

THE OWNER:

OF THE STORE.

ALSO KNOWN AS:

THE MAN UPSTAIRS.

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMEHOW I THOUGH YOU'D LOOK HOLIER...

AND MORE FANCY,

SORT OF.

I MEAN,

LIKE WITH A CROWN

AND A LONG BEARD

AND A FLOWING:

WHITE ROBE.

YOU'RE THINKING OF

CHARLTON HESTON.

I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

IT'S JUST THAT--

THAT I GUESS:

I EXPECTED YOU:

TO LOOK MUCH OLDER.

THANKS, TRACY.

I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

WHO KNOWS?

AFTER THE FIRS 2 MILLION YEARS,

I STOPPED COUNTING.

IT'S AWKWARD

TALKING LIKE THIS.

WOW! HOW'D

YOU DO THAT?

IF I COULD PAR THE RED SEA,

I CAN CERTAINLY:

MOVE TO THE FRON OF A CAR.

IT'S REFRESHING

TALKING TO A YOUNG

LADY LIKE YOU.

TAKES MY MIND OFF

SOME OF MY PROBLEMS.

YOU HAVE PROBLEMS?

YEAH. I'M NOT ALWAYS

ON CLOUD NINE.

THEY'RE STILL NO GETTING MY MESSAGE.

I'M JUST NOT IN

PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS.

THEY DON' BELIEVE IN ME

LIKE THEY SHOULD.

I DO, AND I'M NO SAYING THAT JUS BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE.

I KNOW, BU THERE ARE PEOPLE

WHO THINK OF ME:

ONLY A COUPLE:

OF TIMES A YEAR.

THEN OTHERS DON' THINK OF ME AT ALL

UNTIL THA VERY LAST MINUTE--

AND THEN, BOY, DO I

HEAR FROM THEM.

PEOPLE HAVE TO BE

REMINDED THA I'M STILL AROUND.

THEN COME UP WITH ONE

OF YOUR BIG MIRACLES.

THAT WOULD REALLY

SHAKE THEM UP.

AH. PEOPLE

REMEMBER THE MIRACLE

AND FORGE WHY I DID IT.

I'VE GOT IT.

MY DAD'S IN THAT BUSINESS.

YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE.

TELEVISION, RADIO,

BILLBOARDS, NEWSPAPERS.

GET A SLOGAN.

A SLOGAN?

TRACY, I'M NOT A TUBE

OF TOOTHPASTE.

SLOGANS REALLY WORK.

YOU'LL BECOME

A HOUSEHOLD WORD.

HOUSEHOLD WORD.

YEAH. THAT WOULD BE

NICE FOR A CHANGE.

ALL RIGHT, TRACY.

YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF

A JOB.

YOU THINK:

OF A SLOGAN,

AND I'LL SPREAD I AROUND.

I'LL ASK MY DAD.

HE'S GREAT.

NO. I HAVEN' BEEN DOING TOO WELL

WITH GROWNUPS LATELY.

I'D RATHER

IT CAME FROM YOU.

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