Oh Boy

---

You doing well?

Hey.

Yeah, I have to go.

- Already?

- I've got an appointment.

- I'll call you, OK?

- Sit back down.

- Did you sleep well?

- Mhm.

- Should I make us another coffee?

- That'd be nice, but I'm late.

- What're you doing tonight?

- Nothing, I bet.

Why?

- Because I have a thousand things to do.

- What do you have to do?

Hi.

Hello.

Sh*t.

So.

Niko Fischer,

you tested positive for alcohol

at a traffic stop again, correct?

- That is correct, yes.

- Are you nervous?

- A little.

- You don't have to be.

It's going to go on your

driver's license anyways, right?

Hm?

- Mhm.

- MPE. Do you know what that means?

Medical-Pyschological Examination.

More commonly known as?

- The idiot-test?

- Correct.

"Idiot-test. " And who are you

calling "Idiot?" Me or you?

- Me.

- Because?

Because I've made an idiot

of myself

and you have to check whether or not

I'm allowed to drive again.

Right. Well done.

So, last time we picked you up

with 0.7 parts per million.

That's very close to dodging

the legal limit, no?

If you're driving,

you shouldn't drink at all.

- But one glass is OK, right?

- No.

- Not if you're driving.

- But, I mean, 0.7 parts per million...

My wife is just as drunk after

three rum balls in the evening.

Is my wife endangering the

the roadways?

I'd say that too, but...

If your wife was at 0.7 ppm after

three rum balls,

the law does not allow her to drive.

Are you really so concerned with that?

Laws, Rules?

- I studied law once.

- Oh great, a lawyer.

I never finished.

Why?

Because I dropped out.

Why?

Because...

Because I'd noticed,

that perhaps it wasn't for me.

- What did your parents say about that?

- They weren't happy.

- But now you have a good job?

- Yeah. Yeah, very good. Good.

- Mhm.

- Are you in a relationship?

- Mr. Fischer.

- Ja?

- A relationship?

- I understood you.

- Was?

- I understand you.

But I've noticed

that you don't want to answer me.

I don't want to appear hopeless,

but do such direct questions about

my private life really pertain here?

- Direct?

- Yes.

I can be a lot more direct.

Are you gay?

Do you have complexes,

because you're so so small?

Are you an alcoholic,

because you're so teeny-weeny?

I'm not an alcoholic.

Some months I don't even drink.

Not drinking is not drinking,

and 0.7 ppm is 0.7 ppm.

- Have you already been drinking today?

- No.

No coffee, no water?

Ugh. Of course I've drunk water.

Oh - so by "drinking" you mean alcohol?

- I misunderstood you.

- How have you misunderstood me?

- I didn't think

- What?

That it was a leading question.

A leading question! Mr. Fischer, please.

I'm no linguistic acrobat.

I'd also like to make

an evening of it.

- That can't happen. No driver's license.

- Why?

You're emotionally unbalanced.

Your living situation

suggests a relapse.

- You can't judge that yet.

- No?

So.

I've already done that.

Beautiful day, anyways.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

- What'll it be.

- A coffee to go.

- To go?

- Mhm.

- And for you?

- Black coffee.

Don't you want to try something new?

Today's special is a Maroccino.

With a chocolate donut for two euros more.

Homemade and organic.

Mhm, I'll just take the coffee.

All right. We've got "Caf Arabica"

or "Columbia Morning. "

Which one is regular coffee?

- They both taste good to me.

- Great. I'll take the Columbia, then.

The Colombia. Very well.

- Should I add milk?

- No.

- Soy milk?

- Please, no.

All right. 3.40, please.

- Without the special? Just the coffee?

- Yeah, 3.40.

-3.40 for a coffee?

- That's the Colombia.

You have to say that.

I have 2.20...

60, 70...

- That's not enough.

- Couldn't you make an exception?

Sorry, I can't do that.

Then ten other broke people

will suddenly want a coffee.

- Brokes?

- Yeah, brokes.

Okay.

Hello, Mrs. Mosebach.

It's Niko Fischer.

Could I speak with my father?

Could you tell him to call me?

Yes?

- You've been dragged away, right?

- For a couple weeks. Why?

Karl Speckenbach, we live above you.

I'd like to introduce myself. Welcome.

- Wow. Thanks.

- As a welcome present. Meatballs.

- From my wife.

- That's lovely.

She was in the kitchen the whole morning.

I swiped two already.

They're really good. Try one.

They're good?

Mhm.

- Moving's a lot of work.

- I'm not even done yet.

I watched you hauling stuff.

I'd gladly help you, but my wife says

that I should be careful with my back.

- A herniated disc.

- That doesn't sound good.

What doesn't sound good?

- The thing with your back.

- Oh, that. It's not so bad.

As you said, I'm being dragged away.

I can't offer you anything more.

Cheers.

Did you see

the soccer game yesterday?

- No.

- Sensational game.

- Do you like soccer?

- Sometimes.

Yeah, I'm crazy about soccer.

I've build myself a hobby-room

in the cellar.

With a couch, Foosball table,

flat screen and everything.

I watch all the games there.

Sometimes a little movie, too.

- Oh. Is that your daughter?

- It's an old photo.

These are your words, right?

Where was that taken?

Paris.

Paris...

Somehow, I'm jealous of you.

Young and in love.

Children are probably the issue.

Do you have children?

With me and my wife, pretty much

nothing worked. Nothing.

We were so driven before.

But after five years we stopped trying.

Cancer. Breast cancer.

From today to tomorrow.

They removed the whole thing.

I tried.

I'd like to explain it.

But it doesn't work, I can't do it.

Instead, I live

in the cellar

and she is above in the kitchen

and cooks and cooks

and cooks and cooks.

What should I do?

What should I do now?

Do you have anyone

you can talk about it with?

What then?

I don't know.

Maybe a an old friend?

These damn women,

they end you, totally end you.

Uah.

Yes?

Matze, hello.

- Someone should clean up this city?

- Hm?

Someone should clean up this city.

Because it's a pile of sh*t.

I get a headache,

when I take a walk,

and have to smell the filth.

Unbelievable. The headaches

get worse and worse.

I have an idea.

The President needs to

burn down this city

or flush it down a gigantic toilet.

"Taxi Driver"?

Exactly.

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- You don't want anything?

- A coffee.

The coffee machine's broken.

Something else?

- A mineral water.

- Perfect.

Mh.

- Niko?

- Hm?

- Niko Fischer?

- Ja.

That's crude.

Julika. Julika Hoffmann.

We went to school together.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I was about three times

as fat then.

I called you Gay Julika, then.

- Julika.

- Yeah.

- Now.

- That's crude.

- That's eleven, twelve years...

-13 years.

- Crazy. You look totally different.

- Yeah, thankfully.

- Sit down.

- I don't want to bother you.

- You're not bothering me. Sit down.

- No problem.

Thanks.

- That's Matzo.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Oh.

- Crazy.

- Tell me everything!

- What're you doing? Are you studying?

- I'm, uh, yeah. I'm doing that.

Come one, tell me. How are you?

Have you noticed the time?

- I switched to a boarding school.

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