Oklahoma! Page #5

---

always gotta be buzzing

about something.

What are they saying,

that you're stuck on me?

Most of the talk is that

you're stuck on me.

Can't imagine how these

ugly rumors start.

Me, neither.

Me, neither.

Why do they think up stories

that link my name with yours

Why do the neighbors gossip

all day behind their doors

I know a way to prove what

they say is quite untrue

Here is the gist a practical list

Of don'ts

For you

Don't throw

Bouquets at me

Don't please

My folks too much

Don't laugh

At my jokes too much

People will say we're in love

Who laughs at your jokes?

Don't sigh

And gaze at me

Your sighs

Are so like mine

Your eyes

Mustn't glow like mine

People will say we're in love

Don't start

Collecting things

Like what?

Give me my rose and my glove

Sweetheart

They're suspecting things

People will say

We're in

Love

Some people claim

that you are to blame

As much as I

Why do you take the trouble to bake

My favorite pie

Grantin' your wish

I carved our initials

On that tree

Just keep a slice of all the advice

You give so free

Don't praise

My charm too much

Don't look

So vain with me

Don't stand

In the rain with me

People will say we're in love

Don't take

My arm too much

Don't keep

Your hand in mine

Your hand

Feels so grand in mine

People will say we're in love

Don't dance

All night with me

Till the stars fade from above

They'll see

It's all right with me

People will say

We're in

Love

Don't you think you could tell that Jud

fella you'd rather go with me tonight?

Curly...

No, I couldn't.

Oh, you couldn't.

Think I'll go down to the

smokehouse where Jud's at.

See what's so elegant about him, makes all

the girls want to go to parties with him.

- Curly!

- What?

Nothin'.

(QUACKING)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Well, open it, can't you?

Well, what do you want?

Oh, I... I done got through with

my business up there at the house.

I just thought I'd pay a call.

- You got a gun, I see.

- That's right.

It's a Colt.45.

Oh.

Say, now.

That there pink picture...

That's a naked woman, ain't it?

Plumb stark naked as a jaybird.

Shucks, that ain't a thing

to what I could show you.

Well, that's a good-lookin' rope.

Feels good too.

(GRUNTS)

That's a good, strong hook

you got there, Jud.

You know what? You could

hang yourself on that.

- I could what?

- You could hang yourself.

Yes, sir. Easy as

rollin' off a log.

Why, in five minutes

or less, with good luck,

- you could be dead as a doornail.

- What do you mean by that?

Oh, then folks would

come to your funeral.

- And they'd sing sad songs.

- (SCOFFS)

Why, they would.

You never know how many people

like you till you're dead.

You'd be laid out in a parlor.

All decked out in your best suit.

Your hair combed down slick,

high starched collar.

Lots of pretty flowers

all around you.

Would there be flowers, you think?

And palms too,

all around your coffin.

Folks would gather round,

and men would bare their heads.

Women would sniffle softly.

Some probably even faint,

ones that took a shine to

you whilst you was alive.

Now, what women

ever took a shine to me?

Why, lots of women.

Only they never come right out

and tell you how they feel,

unless you die first.

I guess maybe you're right.

They'd sure sing loud, though,

when the singin' would start.

Sing like their hearts would break.

Poor Jud is dead

Poor Jud Fry is dead

All gather round

his coffin now and cry

He had a heart of gold

And he wasn't very old

Oh, why did such a fella

have to die

Poor Jud is dead

Poor Jud Fry is dead

He's lookin', oh, so

peaceful and serene

And serene

He's all laid out to rest

With his hands across'd his chest

His fingernails

have never been so clean

And then the preacher'd

get up, and he'd say...

Folks, we are gathered here to moan

and groan over our brother Jud Fry

Who hung hisself up

by a rope in a smokehouse

And then there'd be weepin' and

wailin' from some of those women.

And then he'd say...

Jud was the most misunderstood

man in this territory

People used to think

he was a mean, ugly fella

And call him a dirty skunk

and ornery pig stealer

But the folks

that really knowed him

Knowed that beneath them two

dirty shirts he always wore

There beat a heart

as big as all outdoors

As big as all outdoors

Jud Fly loved his fellow man

He loved his fellow man

He loved the birds of the forests

And the beasts of the field

He loved the mice

and the vermin in the barn

And he treated the rats like equals

Which was right.

He loved all the little children

He loved everything

and everybody in the world

Only...

Only he never let on.

So nobody ever knowed it.

Poor Jud is dead

Poor Jud Fry is dead

His friends will weep and

wail for miles around

Miles around

The daisies in the dell

Will give out a different smell

Because poor Jud is

underneath the ground

Poor Jud is dead

A candle lights his head

He's layin' in a coffin

made of wood

Wood

And folks are feelin' sad

'Cause they used to treat him bad

And now they know their

friend has gone for good

Good

Poor Jud is dead

A candle lights his head

He'd lookin'

oh, so pretty and so nice

He looks like he's asleep

It's a shame that he won't keep

But it's summer

And we're runnin' out of ice

Poor

Jud

Poor

Jud

(CHUCKLES) Yes, sir.

(CHUCKLES)

That sure will be

an interesting funeral.

I wouldn't like to miss it.

Well, maybe you will.

Maybe you'll go first.

Well,

let's see now.

Where'd you work at

before you come up here?

Was up by Quapaw, wasn't it?

That's right.

Lousy they was to me too.

Always makin' out

they were better than I was.

Always treating me like I was dirt.

So, what'd you do? Get even?

Who said anything

about getting even?

No one I recollect.

Just come into my head.

If it come to gettin' even with

somebody, I'd know how to do it.

You remember the fire in the

Bartlett farm over by Sweetwater?

I sure do.

It was about five years ago.

Burned up the father and the

mother and the daughter.

It was a terrible accident.

That weren't no accident.

Fella told me.

Said that the hired hand was

stuck on the Bartlett girl

and one day he found her in the

hayloft with another fella.

And 'twas him

that burned the place?

Took him weeks to get the kerosene,

buying it at different times.

Fella that told me,

he made out like

it happened in Missouri,

but I knew all the time

it was the Bartlett farm.

What a liar he was.

Get a little air in here.

You ain't told me yet

what business you had here.

We got no cattle to sell

and no cow ponies.

Could be only one other thing

on this farm you could want

and it better not be that.

- That's just what it is.

- You keep away from her, you hear?

You know, somebody

ought to tell Laurey

just what kind of a man you are.

And for that matter, somebody ought

to tell you once about yourself.

Curly, you better get out of here.

In this country, there's just two

things you can do if you're a man.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes