Oklahoma! Page #7

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One man likes to push a plow

The other likes to chase a cow

- But that's no reason why

- (GUNSHOT)

Ain't nobody gonna

slug out anythin'.

This here's a party.

Sing it, Andrew. (VOCALIZES)

Oh, the farmer and the

cowman should be friends

Good, but louder. Sing it. Sing it.

Oh, the farmer and the

cowman should be friends

Sing. Come on, now, sing.

One man likes to push a plow

Come on. You hear? Sing.

The other likes to chase a cow

But that's no reason

why they can't be friends

Sing!

And when this territory is a state

And joins the Union

just like all the others

The farmer and the cowman

and the merchant

Must all behave theirselves

and act like brothers

I'd like to teach you all

a little sayin'

And learn the words by heart

The way you should

I don't say I'm no better

Than anybody else

But I'll be danged if

I ain't just as good

(LAUGHING)

I don't say I'm no better

than anybody else

But I'll be danged

if I ain't just as good

Territory folks

should stick together

Territory folks should all be pals

Cowboys dance

with the farmers' daughters

Farmers dance

with the ranchers' gals

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

Yeah!

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

Quiet, everybody. Quiet.

It's time to start the auction.

Who's gonna be the

auctioneer, Mr. Skidmore?

Why, Aunt Eller, of course.

- Say, Aunt Eller?

- Huh?

Laurey ain't here yet. What

do you reckon's happened?

Oh, they're just pokey.

Loosen up your pockets, fellas.

You've been pounding the floor

of the new schoolhouse.

Now let's get money

enough to raise the roof.

(CHEERING)

Mr. Skidmore's been generous

enough to give us the land.

- He's got more kids than the rest of us.

- (LAUGHTER)

Now, you know the rules, gentlemen.

You ain't supposed to know what

girl goes with what hamper.

Of course, if your sweetheart

has told you that hers,

will be done up in a certain kind of

way, with a certain kind of ribbon,

that ain't my fault.

I can't hardly lift this one.

Wonder what's in there.

I'm bound there's

a mince pie in here.

- Is there any rum in it?

- Well, come and sniff for yourself.

Is there?

- I'll vote two bits.

- Two bits!

Whoa.

- Hi, Laurey.

- Where's Aunt Eller? And Curly?

Well, up the house, I think.

Sold to Pete Larkin for six bits.

Well, Pete, you sure got a pretty

gal to go with your supper.

Well, let's go ahead.

Now, what am I offered

for this one?

Anybody just et?

- I'll give two bits.

- Two bits.

- Four bits.

- Four bits.

I've heard enough bits.

Let's hear a mouthful.

Hello, young fella.

Well, Mr. Hakim, I hear you got

yourself engaged to Ado Annie.

- Well, I...

- Well, nothing.

I don't know what to call you.

Ain't pretty enough for a skunk.

Ain't skinny enough for a snake.

Too low to be a man,

and too big to be a mouse.

- I reckon you're a rat.

- Hmm. That's logical.

Answer me one question.

Do you really love her?

- Well, I...

- 'Cause if'n I thought you didn't,

I'd tie you up in that there

bag and drop you in the river.

- Are you serious about her?

- Yes, I'm serious.

Do you worship the ground she walks

on, like I do? You'd better say yes.

Yes. Yes.

Would you spend

every cent you had for her?

That's what I did.

See the bag? Full of presents.

Cost 50 bucks,

all I had in the world.

- If you had that $50...

- I'd have Ado Annie and you'd lose her.

Oh, yeah. I'd lose her.

Let's see what you got in the bag.

Might wanting to buy something.

What would you want with it?

I'm a peddler, ain't I?

Oh, hi! (BABBLING)

What a beautiful hot-water bag.

Looks French.

It must have cost you plenty.

- I give you eight dollar for it.

- Eight dollars?

- That wouldn't be honest. I only paid 3.50...

- All right.

I said I give you eight. I will.

- Oh, that's a crackerjack.

- Take your hands off that.

That was for our wedding night.

It don't fit you so good.

I give you $22.

- Well, what...

- All right, 22.50. Not a cent more.

(HUMMING)

Oh, mighty dainty.

Fifteen dollar. Let's see now.

Twenty-two and eight is 30,

and 15 is 45, and 50 is 45.50.

Forty-five fifty.

Say, that's almost...

- You wanna buy some more?

- Might.

You ever see one of these things?

- How much you give me for this here thing?

- Oh, no.

- I don't handle things like that.

- It's just a girl in a pink...

- No, it's more than that.

- Hey.

Either of you two see'd Laurey?

Up to the house, lookin' for Curly.

- How much you give me for this thing?

- I tell you, I don't...

What do you want for it?

Well, let's see.

- Three dollars and fifty cents.

- Sold.

Now, 3.50 from him, 45.50 from you.

That makes $50, don't it?

No. One dollar short.

Oh, darn it.

I must have figured wrong.

Well, how much for the rest of

the stuff in this here bag?

- One dollar.

- Done.

Now I got the $50, ain't I?

Know what that means?

Means I'm gonna take

Ado Annie back from you.

- You wouldn't do a thing like that to me.

- Wouldn't I?

When I tell Ado Annie's pa who I

got most of the money off of,

(LAUGHS)

maybe he'll change his mind

about who's smart and who's dumb.

Say, young fella,

you certainly buncoed me.

(HUMMING)

Oh. Ah.

(HUMMING)

Now here's the last two hampers.

Whose they are, I ain't got no idy.

The big one's mine, and the

next one to it is Laurey's.

(LAUGHTER)

That's the end of that secret.

Now, what am I bid

for Annie's hamper?

MAN:
Two bits.

- MAN #2:
Four.

- Who says six? You?

- Ain't nobody hungry no more?

- (LAUGHTER)

What about you,

peddler-man? Six bits?

No, no. I don't care.

- Bid 'em up.

- Six bits!

Oh, six bits ain't enough for

a lunch like Annie can make.

Let's hear a dollar. How about you?

You won her last year.

Hey, Annie, you still got the same

sweet potato pie like last year?

You bet!

Same old sweet potato pie.

What do you say?

I say it gimme

a three-day bellyache.

(LAUGHTER)

Never mind about that.

Who bids a dollar?

Come on, bid.

Mine was the last bid.

I got her for six bits.

- Bid a dollar.

- Ninety cents.

Ninety cents. We're gettin' rich.

Another desk for the schoolhouse.

Do I hear more?

You hear $50.

- Fifty dollars!

- Hey!

Nobody ever bid $50 for a lunch.

Nobody ever bid 10.

- He ain't got $50.

- Oh, yes, I have.

If you're a man of honor, you'll say Annie

belong to me like you said she would.

- Where's your money?

- Right here in my hand.

That ain't yours. You just bid it,

didn't you? Give it to the schoolhouse.

I still say the peddler

gets my daughter's hand.

- Now, wait a minute! That ain't fair!

- Going for $50.

- Going, going...

- Fifty-one.

- You crazy?

- Fifty...

Wait a minute. Hold on.

Aunt Eller,

if'n I don't bid no more,

- I can keep my money, can't I?

- You sure can.

Then I still got $50,

and this is mine.

- You simple-minded shag poke.

- Going, going,

gone for $51, and that means

Annie'll get the prize, I guess.

- Oh! Oh!

- And I'll get Annie, I guess.

And what are you

getting for your $51?

- A three-day bellyache.

- (LAUGHTER)

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