On Body and Soul Page #2

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What is this mating powder, anyway?

Is it really that strong?

It's strong, and works fast, too.

A mating is done in 3 minutes.

It's not so funny for us.

- I hope we can settle this quietly.

- A story like this? No way.

When I heard the story about

that 50th class reunion, well I...

It does get your instincts going.

But jumping at each other

in the restaurant, like crazed animals?

It was developed for cattle.

A bull weighs in around 400 kilos.

Boss? Where should I...?

A quick result would be nice.

We don't want this to happen again.

Are you feeling better?

Do you have mental hygiene

screenings here?

Sure, every year.

The next one is in 2 months.

Splendid!

Has anyone's behavior changed recently?

I mean, anyone acting weird? Unhinged?

It's hard to tell

from up here in the office.

Listen, run the annual screening now.

Let me recommend someone.

She's worked for us in the past.

Okay, but...

who'll pay for the psychologist?

Us, or...?

Well, it's worth the price, right?

The steak is in the striped bag.

Well, are you satisfied?

I beg your pardon.

Date of first seminal emission?

- Excuse me?

- Ejaculation. I'm sure you remember.

Where you 12 or 13?

Pardon me for my... staring before.

No problem.

It happens.

Well?

Is this really a question?

Look, these are regulation questions

I ask from everyone.

Don't you tell me this is how you started

with the butcher boys?

The question order is not set...

But yes, I asked them all

and they all answered.

That must have been a real experience.

- I see you're embarrassed...

- I'm not embarrassed!

Relax.

There's nothing personal in this question.

It happens to all boys, no?

Come on. Try and remember.

- All right. I was 10. Next question?

- 10?

It's a bit early.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Fine.

Tell me what you dreamt last night.

It wasn't anything special.

Yes?

I dreamt that I was a deer.

I don't know what you'll conclude

from that. Probably nothing.

So you were a deer. And?

That's about it.

I did things deer usually do, I suppose.

Like what?

I wandered around in the woods.

Drank from a stream. Stuff like that.

- Were you alone?

- No.

I was with there was another deer.

Was it another stag? Or a doe?

A doe.

- Are you certain or just assuming?

- I know.

How? Did you mate?

My dear lady, I have to disappoint.

We did not mate.

We wandered the woods, looked for grass,

but only found a few juicy leaves

because of the snow.

We had to dig them out

from under the snow.

We went down to the stream to drink.

Our noses touched when we drank.

That's all.

I didn't mount her, I didn't f*** her.

And I don't want to mount you either.

I just looked at you,

like any normal man would.

Again, I apologize if I was insolent,

but I'd like to start the real work now.

Of course. Sure.

Your intense reaction is very interesting.

Do you perhaps have any erection problems?

Is this part of the questionnaire?

Your response was so heated

it seems logical to...

You said you ask everyone

the same questions.

May I ask you to adhere to this?

Sure, sure...

When did you lose your virginity?

- Come on, tell me what they asked.

- I don't know. A bunch of nonsense.

What's my favorite food,

or if I get dizzy spells.

She also asked me what I dreamt.

I'm not telling her that, for sure.

I'll say I don't remember.

She can't read anything into it.

They know if you're lying. That's how

the questions are put together.

And what's the woman like?

She's got tits like this!

- So what did you dream, darling?

- I'm not telling.

- Come on!

- No!

All right.

I dreamt

I was sitting on a light-blue horse

and for some reason...

Ha ha, really funny. Whatever, forget it.

Too bad, it was nice.

Tell us what you dream, Zska.

You don't want to know that, honey.

I've just made a fool of myself

for telling.

What do you do in your dreams?

Me?

I f***.

So, let's begin.

Time of first menstruation?

November 5, 1998.

- Any surgery?

- None.

- Contagious diseases?

- Chicken pox.

- When?

- March 21 - April 7, 1990.

You remember so precisely?

I remembered.

I see.

It's a bit unusual.

Is there some reason for you to remember?

No.

Okay. Tell we what you dreamt last night.

- You don't remember?

- I do.

I'm just thinking of how to tell it.

I'll finish in a moment.

Sure, fine.

- Please.

- Yes?

It would be easier without this noise.

What noise?

Sorry. It wasn't nice of me.

I've had a long day.

But I'm really listening now.

Tell me your dream.

I was very hungry.

I rooted through the snow

but there was no food anywhere.

My companion helped me search.

He found a thick,

juicy leaf under the snow.

He let me have all of it. I ate it.

It didn't taste bad...

...just a bit nauseating.

Afterwards, I felt strange.

You were an animal in your dream,

is that right?

Yes.

What animal? Can you tell me?

A deer.

I see.

Go on. What else happened?

We have decided to go down to the stream.

Your companion...

Well...

...did you mate?

Why don't you answer?

I was just waiting for you

to find what you were looking for.

Did you find it?

Yes, I found it. Thank you.

So then?

No.

No, what?

We didn't mate.

Right.

But was there any physical contact

between you?

His nose touched mine.

Our noses touched when we drank.

Tell me, why are you doing this to me?

I don't understand.

As you wish. Send the next person in.

They called you back in?

Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing.

Relax.

Stop touching me.

Leave me alone. There's no problem.

Okay, forget I said anything.

I want to know

about your little private joke.

You think it's funny?

I need to evaluate the material.

And the dream analysis

is a part of it. Okay?

Yes.

Then tell me what you

really dreamt last night!

Not what the two of you arranged.

I'm just trying to do my job.

I don't care about anyone's private life.

I want to go home, take a shower.

That's all.

Doctor, maybe you've overworked yourself?

It happens.

All right...

I dreamt that I was a deer.

I don't know what you'll conclude

from that. Probably nothing.

So you were a deer. And?

That's about it.

I did things deer usually do, I suppose...

What an odd coincidence, right?

Anyway, I just wanted to say

we don't have to feel awkward.

We're adults after all, right?

Yes.

Actually, it's kind of funny, no?

It's funny.

Bon apptit.

How's the meat?

The meat is satisfactory.

I always end up with leathery meat here...

What did you dream last night?

I didn't dream anything.

It's a pity.

Then I'd better go sit elsewhere.

I prefer eating alone.

May I?

Don't think I consider you a leper too.

- Did they find out who did it?

- No.

Well, I've got a tip.

- Leave me alone.

- Personally, I don't think it's you.

We'll see

what that shrink lady comes up with.

She's a silly goose.

She really messed with my mind.

I'd bang her, though.

Don't you even want to know who I suspect?

- Tell me, I know you want to.

- Well...

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