On The Edge Page #2

- It's okay, Nick. He's a patient.

- I wouldn't trust him.

It's fine. Fine.

What I want you to do

is to tick off any of these items here...

...that particularly trouble you.

Excuse me.

Filling out forms really scares me.

That's okay, Toby. You can just leave it.

It's not that important.

No, I was joking.

- You're funny.

- Thanks, Doctor.

Actually, it was quite funny.

All right. I'm out of here. See you.

You're not going to help yourself

by running away, Jonathan.

No, you know, you're right, Doctor, no.

Why don't you show us how it's done?

Tell us a bit about yourself.

What scares you?

I want to know if there's anything

in particular that worries you.

I'd be happy to go through it with you

sometime if you're really interested, but...

...we're not here to talk about me.

You know what I mean?

- Sounds like denial to me.

- No, it's not denial.

- Now you sound angry.

- I'm not angry either.

Sometimes it's good to be angry.

I don't think it's

an appropriate conversation for the group.

Fine. If you don't feel comfortable

talking about it.

But I believe you said I was running away.

Yes, and I think that's what

we should be addressing, if anything.

You're trying to deflect

the whole discussion onto my problems.

And now you sound paranoid,

like Nick there.

- What did you say about me?

- I said nothing. How did you hear that?

I hear everything.

Don't you be talking about me

behind my back.

I have enough on my plate!

This has been a wonderful session for me.

I've learned loads about everyone...

...and I'm almost ready

for the outside world again.

So, thanks, Doc. Same time tomorrow.

I'll see you.

You think I'm cute? You think I'm cute?

- Don't call me cute.

- But you are cute.

- You're cute.

- You think I'm cute now?

What? You want to play?

Come on. Now you're fighting.

You think you're so tough.

Do you think I'm cute now?

I have to go back to therapy.

I'll see you later.

You like that Rachel one, do you?

I don't know.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

She's very complicated.

Anyway, I'll see you around.

- Does she play all the time?

- Pretty much.

That's the thing about these places.

You think you're doing something noble

by encouraging her to play the piano.

When she doesn't end up getting better,

you stick her in front of it all day.

Then you forget about her.

How long has she been here for?

Two years.

- Two years. The road to recovery?

- Some people just don't get better.

That's very frank of you, Doctor.

The board of directors won't be pleased

to hear you admitting that.

And tell me,

do you see me getting any better?

You're more talkative today.

I'm just f***ing bored with this place.

If we weren't mad to begin with...

So what's troubling you, Jonathan?

That's a real standard textbook question,

isn't it, Doc?

- Is it?

- When you're a psychiatrist...

...who wears corduroy pants

and that jumper and no tie...

...and drives an old Saab. Is that yours?

- Yeah.

- The old Saab.

You expect something

a little more original than:

"What's troubling you, Jonathan?"

- Do you?

- I thought you'd be the laid-back...

...social worker type

who'd offer me cigarettes.

Because you're very laid-back.

Very Robin Williams.

I thought that we'd be bonding

and hugging and stuff.

- You want to talk about your father?

- You want to talk about yours?

What would you do if you were allowed

home for the afternoon?

Get a decent cup of coffee,

then chop my head off with a chain saw.

Okay.

Just one thing.

I wanted to propose something.

It's like a pledge

between doctor and patient.

We nominate a day,

like three weeks from now...

...like New Year's Day...

...and you mustn't harm yourself

until that day.

You have to stick to it.

What do you think about that?

Yeah, I think it's a f***ing ridiculous idea.

- It's been known to work.

- It won't work.

- Might. Why don't you think about it?

- Okay, hang on. I've thought about it.

F***, you made a good breakthrough.

Well done, Doc.

Okay, we'll talk about it more

after the session.

You've given me the will to live,

and I want to thank you for that.

After that, I'll show you the benefits

of being more sparing with your sarcasm.

- Okay? See you.

- F*** you.

So let me tell you about this pledge thing.

See, Dr. Figure was

a "no medication" type of guy.

And all the hard-core suicidals in his group,

now including myself...

... had agreed not to kill

or hang themselves before January 1.

Can you imagine someone dead hanging

from the light fixture in their room...

... thinking, "If my doctor finds out

about this, I'm f***ed"?

You did get privileges

if you signed it though.

Going to the shops

or to the pub across the road.

Not that I needed that because

Toby had been slipping out for weeks.

So I promised to buy him a drink,

and he took me with him.

Hang on a second.

- Cheers.

- Let's get a seat.

You spilled my drink.

- It was an accident, all right?

- Yeah, but you could apologize, you know.

Not tonight, kids.

F***ing unbelievable.

All right, boys.

Lads, lads, lads.

Do you remember when you were

coming back from the ladies' there...

...and you bumped into my buddy here,

you know?

And he dropped his drink,

and he didn't get to drink any of it.

It would be a gas if you said sorry to him.

You see, that was an accident, you know?

I mean, call the police.

It doesn't seem to be bothering

your girlfriend there.

So why the f*** is it bothering you?

A little f***ing spanner.

- No, lads, you're right. I'll get another one.

- We'll pay for it, okay? It's fine.

- Our pleasures.

- Have a good night.

Take care.

- No hard feelings, okay?

- No worries, man. Take care. All the best.

F***! You f***ing punks! Bugger you!

- I got a f***ing stitch.

- A stitch is okay. Keep going.

But these fellows,

they're very bad at chasing.

Let's go over here.

- So why are you at the sessions, Toby?

- Now you want to talk serious.

Okay, f*** it.

I killed my brother in a car accident.

How about you?

I don't know.

I've never been properly diagnosed,

you know.

I did drive a car off a cliff

a couple of weeks back.

- F*** off.

- Yeah.

Are you serious?

You mean, like totally over a cliff?

And you survived? What was it like?

For the first five seconds,

it was fairly interesting.

F***ing "A," I'd say so. That's brilliant.

Well done. I've got to try that

after my pledge date.

- For f***'s sake!

- Come here, you pair of f***ing spanners!

We only want to have a word with you.

- Hi.

- Hi, there.

What are you doing here?

How did you get out of your ward?

Aren't you happy to see me?

- So, where were you?

- I was out with Toby.

- What do you think of him?

- I like him. He's a very nice guy.

- Did you have a thing with him?

- Toby?

He's sweet.

You didn't answer my question.

I don't know.

Toby is hard to read, you know.

Sometimes I think he likes me.

I don't know.

What about you? What do you think?

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