On The Edge Page #4

... outside the hospital

was an excellent idea.

Toby decided to take a trial run.

He swore that he could hot-wire any car

in under 10 seconds.

It's f***ing beautiful, isn't it?

Let me tell you something

about my brother.

He was in the hospital for a month

after the accident.

He was just wasting away.

We all knew he was dying.

He was on a machine and everything.

I think if I'd lost anyone else,

it wouldn't have been so bad.

I think I can handle death

and missing people, and that.

What I don't understand

is that there were a few basic...

...simple things I wished

I could have told him before he went.

Like the fact that I loved him.

And that I never went a day

without thinking about him...

...or talking about him to people.

And since then,

the image that sticks in my head...

...is that over the month in the hospital...

...I couldn't get it together enough

to tell him those things.

I always thought I'd say them in the end.

And one night, the nurse brought him in

a cup of tea and he had a few sips of it.

And I went out to the toilets.

And when I came back in...

...he was a dead man.

All the family and friends around him,

and all the tears and...

My elbow touched off his cup.

And there was still heat in it.

And that, it totally f***ed me up,

you know.

I mean, the idea...

It was his tea, you know.

It was his tea, and it was still warm, and...

It had outlived him.

It was his tea.

A plane is coming

into Dublin Airport there.

Full of people.

I wonder if it'll crash now.

Safe and sound.

F***, I'm sorry.

I don't know why I'm talking about this.

We'll go back.

It's f***ing freezing in here anyway.

Wanks!

Hey, pal, give it up, will you?

You're embarrassing yourself.

I'm getting better, lads.

Don't worry. Wanker.

Are you trying to start a fight?

Chill out, honey.

What are you, a homosexual or something?

No more than you're a d*ckhead.

You're distracting us,

you northern f***, you.

We're trying to play here,

and you're fooling around.

You're in my f***ing peripherals.

Mind your own business.

He's not bothering you.

Shut the f*** up, you ugly mutt, you.

What did you say to her?

Forget it, Toby. Just bowl.

You're a wise man.

It's a f***ing strike!

Did you see that? That strike.

You're going to have to die for that now,

you prick!

What's your problem? Do you want

to f***ing get involved in this too?

If you want to get at him, you're going

to have to go through me first.

But bear with me,

while I try and explain something to you.

Come on. Come on.

Give it to me in the f***ing neck.

But listen very carefully first before you do.

Whatever you do to me,

I'll have enough energy to come back...

...and get one in at you.

And as sure as I'm standing here,

I don't give a f*** what happens to me.

You'd better kill me with your first shot.

If you don't, I'll come back

and take your f***ing head off.

Give it to me in the f***ing neck.

Come on.

Come on, you wanker!

Dean, leave it. He's from the hospital.

Yeah.

Jonathan, come here a second.

- That was a close call.

- I suppose.

What if he'd gone for you?

Doctor, he'd have been doing me a favor.

You're trembling.

Do you really believe that,

or are you just saying it?

I felt it at the time.

What about now?

Isn't it a relief to be alive?

- How's it going?

- It's good. How are you?

I'm okay.

- I wrote another poem, you know.

- Yeah?

- I like your poetry.

- Thanks a million.

- Do you want to hear it?

- Yeah.

It's called The Demons.

"Deep within these flesh walls

"A raging monster screams

"The pain is felt when I'm asleep

"And fills my every dreams

"To overcome the demon within

"I found a light that shone

"And called out loud and guided me

"That light inspired me on

"When darkness falls across mine eye

"A light within does shine

"And helps me when the demon screams

"That light to me

"sublime"

That's it.

- What do you think of it?

- I like it.

- It's good.

- It's not bad.

Is it for me?

Not necessarily.

I'm going to the toilets.

I'll see you around.

I didn't really have to go.

I hope I didn't pressure you in the past.

No. I mean...

You're not like that, you know.

You're what my mom

would call "a perfect gentleman."

Come here.

I'll see you around.

- Hi.

- Hi, there.

- Were you out for the day?

- Yeah. I was with my dad.

How is your dad?

What are you doing later?

Think I'll catch a show.

- Do you know where my room is?

- Yes, I do.

How was today?

It was fine.

I didn't enjoy it really.

Your dad, how was he?

I don't know. I don't understand him.

We went home for lunch today.

I haven't been there in ages.

There are these cliffs...

...10 minutes from my house.

Used to go there when I was a kid.

Last time I was there I was 7

and had a picnic with my mom.

It was nice and sunny.

We took a nap on the blanket,

I had my head on her stomach...

...and I could feel it moving up and down

with her breath.

We decided to go home.

She wanted to walk along the cliffs.

I don't know. She just...

...lost her footing.

She just went over.

No sound, no scream.

And I looked over...

...and I could see her on the rocks below,

all curled up like she was taking a nap.

Nowadays I have this dream

that I'm back at the cliff...

...and I'm looking down,

and I can see her curled up...

...still there, sleeping.

And I want to get down to her.

But I can't figure out how.

Then I realize I could just jump.

So I jump.

But it's not like falling. It's...

I just float down.

And then I'm with her,

and I have my head on her stomach.

And I can feel her breathing.

And it's...

It's so warm and nice.

And then everything just fades away.

And where was your dad that day?

I don't know.

I think, work.

He blames himself?

I don't know.

You know, he loved her so much.

A daughter is a poor substitute for a wife.

You couldn't be a poor substitute

for anyone.

Thanks.

It's nice of you to say.

You should go back to your room now.

They do a walk-around at midnight.

I'll see you.

I could talk to you, though.

Yeah?

Good night.

- What does that mean?

- It means:

"Say your prayers and sleep well," in Irish.

It's nice.

My dad used to say that to me every night.

Do you miss him?

I miss him saying that to me.

You miss him.

Not as much as you do,

by the sounds of that dream.

Good night.

All good escape plans

start by acquiring the wheels.

Something fast and discreet.

Rachel suggested her dad's house

as a venue for our party.

He'd be away,

so we'd have the run of the place.

By giving out the address

to the day patients...

... news of the party

would spread like wildfire.

- What's the story? Who we waiting for?

- Our hostess for the evening.

She said she'd bunk out around 10:00.

We spiked the guard's flask

with a cocktail of stolen medication.

Happy New Year.

Come on. Let's go for a downer.

- There's something I want to say.

- Yeah?

I'm totally pissed, so...

F*** it. I'm just going to say it.

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