On the Riviera

Aha! You like it?

Well, everybody join with me.

We sing together, huh?

- Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

You want more? You do?

Well, aren't you wonderful?

Wait. Don't go away.

I'll be right ba-

I'll be right back

with the luscious Colette.

Boy, it's a great audience.

Best yet.

- They love you.

- And what about you?

- I love you too.

- Well, give me a kiss.

- No. Turn around.

- Not till you give me a kiss. Okay.

- You know something?

- What?

Gapeaux will be moving us

up to the Terrace Room soon. The big show.

- He's crazy if he doesn't.

- Don't say that. He is crazy.

- Hurry up. Come on.

- All right. Thank you.

Come. Duran is landing any minute.

We've got Nice on the television. Come on!

Oh, it's Duran!

Come on. Come with me.

Duran is landing. Come with me.

- Okay. Ready?

- Wait a second, lassie.

- There is a wee spot on my kilt here.

- Well, I'll fix that.

Stop it! You tickle.

- Hey, we're on.

Watch it, Mac.

- What-

Hey! Wait a minute.

What's going on in there?

- It is Duran. He's landing.

- Duran! Let's go and see!

Huge crowds have gathered

to welcome the nation's hero...

Capitaine Henri Duran.

Not since the arrival

of Lindbergh...

has a flight created

so much excitement.

When his magnificent plane,

the Victory, touches the ground...

he will have broken the round-the-world

nonstop flight record...

by more than 12 hours,

a great, great achievement.

You can feel the mounting

tension of the crowd.

Is he gonna land in all that fog?

Jack, don't be so vain.

Put on your glasses so you can see something.

- Ah, it is he!

The Victory is coming in!

Just listen to that crowd roar!

And now, on the platform,

the distinguished committee of high officials...

waits to receive

the great capitaine.

Even the air minister is here

to pay him honor.

In just a moment now,

Capitaine Duran will appear.

He has been at the controls

for more than two days...

and, without sleep,

he must be exhausted.

- Bravo!

The first to greet the capitaine...

are Philippe Labrix

and Louis Forel...

his associates in the manufacture

of these magnificent planes.

We have been told that Air Europa

has given them a contract for 50 of them.

Hey, Colette. Doesn't he look familiar to you?

Kind of like somebody we know?

- Mmm-

- Huh? Huh?

You know, he looks much like you!

That's what I thought, too,

except I didn't want to be the one to say it.

- Good-looking chap, isn't he?

Aha! Here is Madame Duran...

the beautiful wife of the capitaine.

Oh, no, no. Sorry.

That is not Madame Duran.

It is Elena Petrovna,

the ballet dancer.

Ah, now we have Madame Duran.

A situation, no?

No. No, sorry again.

That is Marilyn Turner,

the American movie star.

Wait, wait! Let us hope that this

is Madame Duran!

Ah, oh, yes. There is no doubt.

This is really Madame Duran.

What a giant among men.

Capitaine Duran. Capitaine, please.

Would you kindly say a few words

to the television audience?

- Congratulations, Capitaine!

- Did you have any trouble, Capitaine?

- What did you think about while

you were making this flight?

- Will you give us a statement?

- I would be delighted.

- The whole world is waiting to hear you.

My dear friends,

thank you very much.

I am deeply moved

by this demonstration.

I, uh- I would like to say more,

but I'm sure you will excuse me.

I am really so very tired.

All I would like now

is a bottle of champagne, and after that...

I would like

to go to bed for a week.

Who will join me in cheering my brave comrades

who have made this achievement possible?

- Bravo.

- Bravo!

- How can he?

- What?

Look at other women.

His wife is so beautiful.

Boy, look at those eyes. Those-

Now, come on, you. Back to work.

I've got those too.

I've got beautiful eyes.

This concludes our broadcast brought to you...

from the Nice Airport.

We now return you to the studio.

I sure hate to follow that guy.

He's terrific, isn't he?

- Oh, Jack.

- Yes?

- Monsieur Gapeaux- he wants to see you.

- He does?

- Uh-huh.

- I'll be right with him. Thank you, Andre.

- Right.

- Did you hear that? Gapeaux wants to see me.

Here we go, baby,

up to the Terrace Room and a raise.

- I do not like it.

- Why not?

- Because when you want to see him, that's a raise.

- Yeah?

But when he wants to see you,

I don't like it.

Ah, do not fret, my bonny lassie.

The clan MacMartin

has never lost a battle yet.

Hee-hee!

No! Saturday night, you are through.

Through? But I don't get it. Why?

Because I no longer

find you amusing.

That's just a matter of personal taste.

I don't happen to like olives.

- The audience loved me.

- I do not care about the audience!

- It is what I like that matters.

- But business is great!

Oh, please do not argue,

Monsieur Martin.

I've seen everything you do,

and I'm bored.

After all, I have to live too.

Look, Monsieur Gapeaux,

I can give you something new.

I've got a lot of

other things I can do.

If you can do something sensational,

I might reconsider.

In the meantime, Saturday night,

you are through.

Well, thank you very much.

- Sensational, huh?

- And it better be better than you are doing now!

Yeah.

- Something sensational, huh?

Yeah, sure.

Any little thing will do, just so he likes it.

Who cares what he likes?

Who tells him to watch?

- He owns the place.

- Oh!

Look, let's not argue,

will you, sweetie? Let's just think.

Wait a minute. Maybe this will go.

Ah! I'm mortified!

Nothin', huh?

Well, I don't know.

I just don't know.

I- Wait a minute.

Who is that?

Never mind.

- You really think I look like him?

- Who?

- Duran.

- What has that to do with this?

Nothin'. Nothin'.

I was just lookin'.

- Well, you look like him, but you do not, uh-

- Do not what?

Well, it's just that you do not.

I mean, you see, when you look at Duran,

something happens to you.

- Yeah.

- And when I look at you-

Fine. I suppose if Duran walked in here now,

you'd run off with him and leave me flat.

No, Jack, I wouldn't leave you flat.

- I'm in love with you.

- Mmm.

But everyone is

in love with Duran...

and I'm the only one

in love with you.

- You see? That's the difference.

- Oh.

- No savoir faire, huh?

- No savoir faire.

Oh, well, that's just an act

like anything else is.

He happens to be

the big hero at the moment, a great lover.

- You know something?

- What?

- I could have what

he's got just like that.

I'll show you.

It's very simple. Watch.

Capitaine, I trust

you find this table satisfactory?

- Quite. Thank you very much, Gapeaux.

- Oh, not at all.

- Madame?

- Thank you.

Mesdames...

et messieurs...

we take great pleasure...

in presenting...

to you...

Monsieur Jack Martin...

in his impersonation of...

the one and only

Capitaine Henri Duran!

- Duran!

- Ahh!

My dear friends-

Mimi, Fifi...

and Celia.

I don't recall your face...

but I'd like to be familiar.

It's uncanny.

You should at least

pretend to be amused, my dear.

Oh, it is amusing, Henri,

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