Once I Was a Champion Page #11

---

And I looked in the toilet, and

his piss looked like motor oil.

No one else would be training,

let alone ready to step

into the biggest venue in MMA.

I don't believe he wanted

to acknowledge that.

Evan, when I was

in the dressing room with him,

was... I don't know that I've ever

experienced anything like that.

I mean, the guy didn't even want

his hands wrapped for the fight.

Like, you know, normal things

that you would do for a fight.

Coming

from the old-school nature,

he just wanted to put his gloves

on, go out there, and scrap.

I thought, and I know

you'll think I'm an idiot,

I thought he'd beat

Kendall grove.

I really did, and I went up

to Lorenzo Fertitta

after the fight, and I said,

"I thought Evan won. "

And he said, "'cause you're

thinking with your heart,

not your head.

He didn't win. "

"But I thought he did. "

It's different with Evan

how he dealt with the losses

because he was not

just a fighter.

He felt like he won because

he had beat his addictions,

and he wanted to

drink, and he didn't.

And he didn't touch alcohol

after that,

and he really... he really stuck to

his guns, and he stayed clean,

and he was like, "I'm gonna get back

in there and win a f***ing fight. "

I told him I had a really big fight

coming up and that I'd be honored

if he would come down and

corner me, and he accepted,

and he flew down to corner me.

I end up losing that fight

in the third round,

and it was good

to have Evan there.

We just hung out

in the hotel room,

and, you know, we had both

kind of on the same page.

Like, coming off a loss

is a tough thing,

and being with a guy

who... like, my best friend,

who understood me

and understood that situation,

was... you know,

he really picked my spirits up.

He just really

has been through stuff

and can really understand

and relate

and give that advice

'cause he's been there,

done that.

He just... he was really good

at comprehending things

and understanding

and how to fix things,

better with other people

than himself.

You know, believe that you can,

even as a single individual,

you can change the world

because your...

your words and actions resonate

out eternal in a sense, you know.

I can stand up for these things

that I believe in, I can stand up,

I can speak out,

and I will be heard.

I can change the world.

That's my motivation.

I can change the world.

Hmm.

You know, he flew out to build

a playground for kids

he had no connection with.

You know, it was because he actually

believed that we all are connected.

Helping children and helping

people have what he didn't have,

showing them that you could do and

achieve anything you set your mind to.

As long as you believe you can make

an impact, you can make an impact.

And I think that's just for him

what it was.

It was just... it could be the

person you smile at today.

You know, it could be

the very smallest thing.

A sign or show of compassion

you could do today

could turn into something huge

for somebody else tomorrow.

So we were each other's

support in different ways.

He definitely exposed me

to a lot.

He was kind of... didn't really like

to think things thoroughly through.

He'd always give me crap for,

like, just going backpacking,

but I'd think, "okay, I need to

bring this in case this happens. "

And he's like, "gosh, you

think about things so much. "

I'm like, "well, yeah, you never know

"if something's gonna encounter.

"You're gonna have to protect yourself

or save yourself or whatever. "

You know, and he's like,

"yeah, I guess you're right.

I could use some of that. "

I remember the last time he said that,

we went backpacking about a month,

maybe two months before

he passed, and...

I remember

just thinking about...

Whatever goal he had in sight,

he was gonna go there.

You know.

That's what I thought really... with

the whole incident, what happened,

did he really want

to kill himself?

Did he rea... didn't want

to kill himself?

But when I heard the story,

when he went out there,

the first thing that came

to my mind

was saying that, okay, he told himself

he can actually make this back.

He's gonna do it, you know.

Walking back, God knows how

many Miles without any drink.

I think that was typical him.

And I got

a text message from him too.

"I'm in Clapp Springs.

"I ran out of water.

"I feel like sh*t,

but I'm okay.

"If you don't hear from me

by tomorrow in the morning,

call search and rescue. "

And another message was like,

"I going to try to hike

the 5 Miles

back to camp. "

And after that, I call him, and

I call him, and I call him.

I never got an answer from him.

And next day I just... I just did

what he told me to do.

Hey, this is Evan.

Hey, sorry, I...

forever, last time we talked.

It's my nature. Uh... You know, we

usually spoke nearly every day,

and I always called him E.T.

I never called him Evan.

And for some reason I said... I called

his number, and he said, "hello. "

And I said, "Evan. "

"Wade, I'm surprised

I'm getting a signal. "

I said,

"what are you doing?"

And he told me, he said, "wade,

I think I'm dying of thirst. "

And I couldn't...

he couldn't hear me.

And I kept hollering,

"Evan, Evan. "

And I get,

"hello?"

And I thought,

well, he'll get a signal.

He'll call me back.

I hung up the phone.

And I waited, I called him,

left several messages.

And I knew something was wrong, but

I didn't know where he was at.

I couldn't help him.

So I waited.

I called oceanside.

I didn't know where he was at.

And I started filling out a

missing person's report.

I told 'em Evan, Evan Tanner, and

then 20-something minutes into it,

she said she couldn't give me

any more information,

that somebody had already filed

a missing person's report, and

I said, "please help me. "

She says, "I can't give you

any information. "

I said, "please.

Tell me,"

I said, "this is my friend. "

And she said, "well,

we found his motorcycle. "

Yeah, I knew then.

But that's the last words

I got to speak to him.

And that's the old saying, say

something kind, because it could be

your last words.

I bought a case of water,

and I was just like,

"would one or two bottles

get him back?

"Three?

Half a case?

If he just had a little more?"

We had the really dubious task

of going through Evan's apartment

in oceanside and having to pack

it all up and get it out

and then catalog it,

and I wanted to...

I wanted to be there,

and I kind of wanted

to talk to him one last time before

it was all kind of taken apart.

Woke up the next morning and

walked down to the beach.

I just wanted to feel

kind of what... what his life

might have been like,

and I just felt

how peaceful the end of his life

must have felt,

how it just felt

like home to me even.

Evan did not drink at all when

he lived here at this complex.

I never saw him have a

drink, never drank.

We offered him drinks

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes