Once Upon a Time in Mexico Page #2

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Men like Barillo have stolen

this country's soul.

But my people will stand up

for what is right.

I'm afraid they're no longer

your people, sir.

Then I will die fighting.

Are you with me?

To the death.

What's wrong?

Everything.

This way!

Come on, come on,

come on, come on!

Any suggestions, Miss "Let's

get a room on the fifth floor...

...so we can see

the beautiful sunset"?

Jump.

Swing, swing, swing.

- Hang on!

- What do you mean, hold on?

Let go now!

Give me that!

Stop the bus.

Stop the bus.

A vow must be broken.

Forgive me...

for what I am about to become.

- When was your last confession?

- An hour ago.

- And the name of your priest?

- Sands.

Okay. You are expected to carry out

your assignment to the letter...

- Yeah, I know.

- Failure to appear...

...in locations at assigned times...

...results in forfeit of protection,

protection you will definitely need.

- Yeah.

- You'll be paid.

Coup d'etats, like elections,

don't come cheap.

So there's plenty of dough

floating around.

There's more.

You will be a free man...

...from Marquez, the cartels,

and even from the president...

...who isn't your biggest fan,

let's face it.

- When do I begin?

- Give me a moment.

It's a church, hombre.

I'm sorry.

Are you still standing?

Still.

Good. Well, the Barillo cartel

aren't the nicest of guys, are they?

However, you've passed the test.

You're gonna do just fine.

Assemble your team, and I will

call you with further instructions.

Over and out.

I'm just walking my beat, friend.

Mexico's my beat, I'm walking it.

I throw shapes, and they catch them.

I set them up and watch them fall.

Have him meet me

at the bullfight at 5 p.m. What?

Why would I want that?

Why would I want bubble gum?

All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, this should hold the both

of us over for quite a long time.

So I don't ever want to see you again.

F*** off.

- Hi.

- Hello.

The CIA sharing a meal with the FBI.

Now, if that isn't interagency

cooperation, I just don't know what is.

- I'm retired FBI.

- A real agent never retires.

He just takes it a little easier.

- Why are we talking?

- You tracked down Armando Barillo...

...for two years when he was running

operations out of San Antonio.

Spinning wheels.

It never led to an arrest.

Well, he...

He is, in fact,

sitting directly behind you.

I know.

He settled back in.

He's been living here for six years.

Can't be touched.

Did you know that most agents

never even see a top-10 criminal...

...for their entire careers?

You brought down two, didn't you?

And now your third

is sitting in very close proximity.

Now, retired or not...

...that has really got to tug

on the old short and curlies.

I'm a civilian now.

Didn't he kill that agent friend

of yours? What was his name...

...Archuleta?

Yes.

Barillo is a Mexican citizen.

He cannot be extradited for crimes

committed in the U.S.

Do you happen to know of a

Dr. Guevera? Worked for the cartel.

This doctor pumped your friend

Archuleta full of drugs, day after day...

...so that they could torture him

for two weeks before he died.

You must have known that.

Dr. Guevera himself

having dinner with your prey.

I wonder what it is they're up to now.

Two weeks of torture, Jorge.

Think about that.

For your dead friend...

...for the job you didn't finish

in San Antonio.

Now, are you really going to let it

slip away again?

I'd like you to have a bite

of my pork because it's...

...the world.

(Announcer)

It's Mariachi Happy Hour!

Get your Mariachi song for 5 pesos.

A Mariachi kiss for 20 pesos.

And a Mariachi f*** for only 50 pesos!

Where the hell have you been?

Far away.

Still f***ing around?

Let me get Fideo.

I'm here for my guitar.

It's his last night.

They're firing him.

Hey...

...Fideo, it's me.

- Still drinking.

- Like a fish.

I guess we haven't changed so much.

I didn't think you'd ever

come back for this thing.

Neither did I.

Are we on?

I'll let you know.

I'll let you know.

Bring him sober.

We're gonna need him, so...

...coffee.

Lots of coffee.

Sometimes a revolution is exactly

what's needed to clean up the system.

One...

...giant enema, which just so happens

to be my area of expertise.

Bullfights. Bull hockey.

Do you like this?

The bull is stabbed,

prodded, beaten.

The bull is wounded.

The bull is tired before the matador...

...ever steps into the ring.

Now, is that victory?

Of course it is.

Wanna know

the secret to winning?

Creative sportsmanship.

In other words...

...one has to rig the game.

Go collect.

El presidente is giving a speech

on the Day of the Dead...

...in the town of Culiacan.

He's going to be isolated...

...in the main edificio

in the center of the plaza.

Very easy access to him if...

...somebody can get you in.

Right.

You're the man who can do that.

I am not the prince.

I am the man behind the prince.

- I see.

- He's not the first prince I've served...

...nor the first one that I've betrayed.

- You're a good rat. I like you.

- I try.

The rest upon completion.

- Mucho gusto.

- Right. Right.

Every goddamn time.

What do you want in life?

Belini...

...how long have you and I

done business together?

A long time.

And in a way...

...I kind of, almost, could have the

tiniest smidgen of respect for you.

Almost.

But you need to stop farting around.

Now, do you have the information

that I need on Barillo or do you not?

I have what you need.

I'm just enjoying this

temporary position of power.

That make you nervous?

You know that withholding vital

information from a federal officer...

...is a serious offense.

Especially when that officer has paid

handsomely for it...

...and wouldn't think twice about

ripping that patch off your eyehole...

...and skull-f***ing you to death.

No.

I'm fine. Go away.

I am fine. Go away.

You're off the hook.

Leave me alone.

That spill just cost you your life.

A little help.

Okay.

I know it's on you somewhere.

Somewhere.

All right.

Time to get messy.

Well, I suppose I should thank you

for not sticking it up your ass.

However.

You're about a quart low.

You're gonna pay for that, cop.

- Why doesn't my key work anymore?

- It's too small.

- Stand back.

- I just... I brought you a gift.

I'm still mad at you.

And trust me,

it wasn't easy to get. So...

Come closer and I'll thank you.

- Are you trying to give me a boner?

- Closer, I said.

How about that little tip-off?

Guarantees you a big arrest

and an accommodation.

Even from your twisted little agency.

I'm impressed.

- But then what?

- Want to hear my plan?

Either that or I start target practice.

Okay. The new president is on a

quest to clear out the Barillo cartel.

And Barillo has set up

a counterattack...

...by hiring a military general

named Marquez.

He wants him

to throw a coup d'etat...

...while the president's

visiting Ouliacan.

Now, I have a man inside

as insurance...

...to make sure that Marquez

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