One Chance Page #4

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Yvonne has piled a towering stack of green-beans on Julz’

plate.

ROLAND:

And your parents? What do they do?

PAUL:

Dad.

JULZ:

It’s alright. Mum’s a-

20.

PAUL:

Her mum’s a seamstress and Dad’s on

disability from the chemical plant.

ROLAND:

Smithsons the one in Bristol?

JULZ:

That’s right. And I hear you’re the

foreman down the steel mill? And you,

Yvonne, are said to make the best bread

pudding in all of Europe.

YVONNE:

I am somewhat celebrated for it.

JULZ:

(nudging Paul)

Not the only celebrity in the family.

ROLAND:

What? Him?

JULZ:

He’s going to be a wonderful singer.

ROLAND:

I thought you two only met this morning?

Julz takes Paul’s hand under the table.

JULZ:

Nonsense. How could I be his girlfriend

if we’d only just met?

Paul brightens at this news, as does Yvonne.

YVONNE:

They’ve been chirping on the Internet for

quite some time, dear.

PAUL:

It’s not chirping, mum, it’s-

JULZ:

We’ve been chirping for almost a year.

ROLAND:

With all the chirping and singing, it’s

no wonder he’s so undeveloped.

Paul’s eyes fall to his lap...

21.

JULZ:

You think Paul is undeveloped?!

ROLAND:

I wish my mum did all my washing when I

was twenty-nine.

PAUL YVONNE:

I can’t stop her. You just try and stop me!

Everyone’s taken aback by Yvonne’s ferocity...

YVONNE:

Now then, who’s for a sweet?

EXT. POTTS HOUSE - DAY

Yvonne kisses Julz several times goodbye.

YVONNE:

I mean it. Even if Paul’s not here, we

can go for a ladies lunch or have our

hair done.

JULZ:

Sounds wonderful.

Roland appears, palms a packet of condoms into Paul’s

hand.

ROLAND:

Can’t be too careful.

Paul pockets them quickly.

PAUL:

Bye then.

Forces his parents inside and pulls the door closed on

them. Yvonne is heard yelling at Roland.

YVONNE (O.S.)

Condoms?! Are you out of your bloody

mind?!

JULZ:

(to Paul)

He didn’t?

ROLAND (O.S.)

Who knows what her intentions are!

22.

PAUL:

(flushed, shows her the

condoms)

I’m sorry. I-

JULZ:

What kind of a tart does he think I am?

YVONNE (O.S.)

(to Roland)

She’s a lovely girl.

ROLAND (O.S.)

My point exactly. What’s a girl like that

want with the likes of him, then?

YVONNE (O.S.)

(sarcastic)

She’s after his inheritance! All twenty

pounds of it. Hurry, we must hide the

Picassos.

Julz watches Paul’s face, feeling badly for him.

PAUL:

Dad fell on his head when he was a child.

Or last week perhaps.

JULZ:

(re:
the condoms)

Well, you won’t be needing those, just

so’s you don’t have any ideas.

PAUL:

I don’t! I swear. The thought hasn’t even

crossed my-

(he’s gone too far)

I mean. It has, but... I mean...

She puts her finger to her lips. Offers her hand. He takes

it and they walk off.

EXT. FINNEGAN’S PUB - DAY

Paul and Julz sit outside over pints of cider.

JULZ:

He was just mean, really. Shagged my

former best friend, then told me it’s

because I was getting too-

(eyes reddening)

It doesn’t matter.

23.

PAUL:

(taking her hand)

He was a tosser.

JULZ:

An enormous tosser. But I’m well past

it... I don’t need that much love, I

don’t expect it anyway, not coming from

where I do. But, nothing ventured,

nothing gained as they say... You’ve got

to take chances now and again, though

it’d be brilliant if it was on something

actually worthwhile for change.

Paul smiles... He wants to tell her he’s worthwhile, but

knows it isn’t something you say... Instead, he traces

outlines with his thumb across the back of her hand until-

PAUL:

If you could be one person, who would you

be?

JULZ:

Well, seeing as I’m a dead ringer for

Cameron Diaz...

(flutters her eyelashes)

Then again, she’s got her own career,

famous boyfriends, and an ass I’d sell my

mum for. What about you?

PAUL:

I’d be me.

JULZ:

‘Can’t be yourself. Have to be someone

else.

PAUL:

I don’t want to be someone else.

JULZ:

That confident, are we?

PAUL:

On the contrary. But, if I were someone

else, I wouldn’t be here with you.

JULZ:

You’ll get a kiss later for that one...

Okay, what if you could meet anyone? Now

that I’ve met Brad Pitt, I’ll have to

say...Nelson Mandela.

24.

PAUL:

Pavarotti.

JULZ:

He’s your true role model then?

PAUL:

It used to be him and Han Solo, but then

I realized Han Solo wasn’t actually real.

JULZ:

Crushing was it?

PAUL:

Horrible scars on my psyche.

JULZ:

He’s Italian? Pavarotti, I mean.

PAUL:

He lives in Monte Carlo now, but he’s on

the board of an opera school in Venice.

JULZ:

That’s where you want to go, isn’t it?

PAUL:

I’m not good enough to sing

professionally, I just like singing for

people. It’d be nice to learn properly.

Maybe someday.

JULZ:

Would you sing for me?

Paul flushes red. Smiles shyly but is clearly

uncomfortable...

PAUL:

It’s not that I-

JULZ:

Someday, then?

PAUL:

Someday.

JULZ:

One foot, then the other.

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Braddon emerges along

with HYDRANGEA, an ethereal looking girl with blonde hair

and a unicorn shirt.

25.

BRADDON:

What do you mean platonic? How can you be-

Hallo Paul. What you doing here?

(sees Julz)

Is this-- This is! You are!

JULZ:

I am?

PAUL:

She is.

(to Hydrangea)

And you must be-

HYDRANGEA:

Hydrangea.

PAUL:

Right.

(re:
her shirt)

Is that a unicorn?

Braddon signals desperately for him to shut up.

HYDRANGEA:

Have you signed up for the contest?

PAUL:

Just the cider.

BRADDON:

Just as well, I’ve got the blue ribbon in

the bag.

JULZ:

What bag is that?

HYDRANGEA:

Third annual Halloween costume karaoke

competition. Three thousand pound to the

winner.

Pulls a flyer off the wall, hands it to Paul.

PAUL:

(stunned)

Three thousand pound?

BRADDON:

Mind you, it’s no amateur night. They get

some pretty tough customers in here.

(bangs his bird chest)

It’s sure be a blood-bath.

26.

JULZ:

You’re a singer, then are you?

BRADDON:

(as if it’s obvious...)

I’ve got a gorgeous singing voice.

(kissing Julz hand)

Lovely to meet you.

(kisses Paul’s hand)

And you.

Tries to kiss Hydrangea’s hand, but she flicks him in the

forehead.

HYDRANGEA:

Come on, Sinatra. You can wash my motor-

scooter.

BRADDON:

It that code?

(off her look)

Oh. Right.

She drags him away, leaving Julz looking at the

embarrassed Paul with raised eyebrows...

PAUL:

Actually, he’s my boss.

JULZ:

You’re joking?

PAUL:

The less you think about him the better.

INT. PAUL’S BEDROOM - DAY

Only slightly progressed since last time. The boxes are

gone and yet it feels even smaller.

Julz marvels at the collection of opera posters and

flyers.

JULZ:

Wow. I knew you were into opera, but I

didn’t know you were completely mad for

it.

PAUL:

I’m not fanatical about it or anything.

(off her look)

Okay, maybe just a little bit.

Julz looks at a yellowed, framed newspaper article...

27.

JULZ:

What language is this?

PAUL:

Portuguese. It’s the-

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