One More Time Page #5

call, you devil.

You realize that it's

Van Morrison, right?

You know, it's a shame

that you and this starlet

that shall remain nameless

didn't make a go of it.

Could have spared us your

marriage to the wicked witch

of the upper West Side.

You could go easier on Lucille.

What have you got

against her, anyway?

Nothing.

I happen to know that you and

Corinne call her the devil.

Only affectionately.

You think she's a

gold digger, right?

Not a very good one, obviously.

Pull.

Stupid Clay pigeons.

I know you think I'm

nagging, but I can't stand

to see potential go to waste.

You could be great.

Still could be really something.

You're gifted.

Whoa, be careful with that gun.

God.

There's nothing more

common than wasted talent,

said Thomas Aquinas.

I don't think Saint Thomas

Aquinas ever said that, but ok.

Pull.

Tick tock, Jude.

You know what I'm talking about.

You're pushing 30.

Pull.

Maybe I don't want

to be a singer.

Maybe I don't want your life.

I was thinking of becoming

a barista, actually.

Somebody who pours seven

dollar cups of coffee,

it's not a career.

Pull.

Stupid Clay pigeon.

Sir, are you sure this

thing is calibrated?

I only want the best for you.

Do you?

You sure you're not just trying

to live vicariously through me?

If I wanted to live vicariously,

it wouldn't be through you.

Pull.

You really are an a**hole,

you know that, Paul?

You know, I met

the Dalai lama once,

and I happened to be cooking

hot dogs at the time.

I said, what do you want?

And he said, make me

one with everything.

The Dalai lama,

make me one with everything.

Huh?

I want to jump out of this car.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I want to kill...

Listen, I know how you

feel about the Dalai lama.

You know, to me he's just a guy.

What does he know

about show business?

Paul!

Are you coming upstairs soon?

In a minute.

Hey.

You busy?

Seriously, Tim, I don't have

the brain space right now.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, not like that.

Let's just go for a ride.

An open mic night?

No way.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's not an open mic night.

This is... this is, uh,

officially an intervention.

I'm not a 15 year old

on YouTube, all right?

I'm a professional.

Give me that.

I'm doing this just to make

you stop making that noise.

So, let's bring out our

next performer, Jules Lipton.

Yes, uh, actually

that's Jude Lipman.

June Litton.

Whatever.

Um, yeah, this is, uh... this

is a song that I, um, wrote.

Oh, this heart is a foolish one.

It's never worked right.

So loudly it keeps me

awake in the night,

and it forces me out of bed.

Pacing my floor instead.

Longing for things to

which it has no right,

and no whiskey or wine can it

sway my poor, ludicrous heart.

It just rattles the bars,

rattles the bars of its cage.

Oh, and sometimes it feels

like it must weigh 100 pounds.

Sometimes it's light, so

much lighter than air.

But always it wants too much,

needs too much, feels too much.

Loves so much more than

just one heart can bear,

and sometimes, in a hideous

rage, yeah, my ludicrous heart,

it just rattles the

bars, rattles the bars,

rattles the bars of its cage.

Wow.

It's a gorgeous night, huh?

There's supposed to be a

lunar eclipse next week.

I'm having an affair

with a married man.

Oh, yeah?

Who is he?

Just some guy I met at the gym.

He owns a bunch

of KFC's in Jersey.

How old is he?

I don't know.

Why?

I don't know.

Just curious.

I don't know.

Like, 50?

Ok... all right, I lied.

He doesn't own any KFC's.

He is my analyst.

Well, I at least thought

that would get a reaction.

I've been around this

family for too long.

You know what I've

never understood?

How the hell you

ended up with Corinne.

Do you know what

I've never understood?

Why do you hate her so much?

I get that you guys are

different, and that's fine,

but she's not a terrible person.

I mean, seriously.

She's completely kind, and fun.

Fun?

Ok, I'll concede you kind before

I'm gonna concede you fun.

And even kind is a stretch.

She participates

in the community,

she cares about the environment.

And Hitler loved his dog.

Ok that's exactly

what I'm talking about.

I mean, I get that you

don't like Corinne,

but then when you

compare her to Hitler,

you're not really making

your case, you know?

It was a joke.

You're sounding hysterical,

and like, it's really awkward

for me too, do you know?

Do you ever consider that?

It gets f***ing old.

I'm sorry.

I am, I'm... I'm sorry

for you, but... Tim.

This sh*t between me

and Corinne is old.

Don't you have issues with her?

I mean, come on, you must.

Of course I do.

But you don't get to choose

who you fall in love with.

Sure you do.

What you don't get to choose

is who loves you back.

I mean, you think

if, um... if we'd

stayed together all those

years ago, we'd have,

uh... we would have worked?

If we'd just tried

a little bit harder.

If the timing had

been different.

If we'd just been a

little bit more mature.

If Corinne didn't come along?

Yeah.

No.

Maybe.

My aunt had a dick,

should be my uncle.

Jude the vulgarian.

Some things never change.

What are you...

What are you doing?

I, um... I...

I...

I'm...

I'm married to your sister, ok?

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry.

I mean, you need some help.

You need help, and

you need to not screw

the help when you get the help.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Just...

No, it was no big deal.

It was no big deal.

I overreacted.

That was...

I gotta go.

Sorry.

It was nothing.

Please don't run away.

Come on.

Wait!

Lourdes, you are the best.

Good to my house.

I shall return anon.

I'm off to my,

in case anybody cares.

Ok.

You are all set to meet Marty

Sedgwick tomorrow morning

at 10:
00 am in the city.

Who knows who you are, he

knows who your father is.

Most importantly, he

knows you can sing,

cause I sent him

some of your stuff.

Now, listen to me... Marty is a

real gut feeling kind of guy,

ok?

He fancies himself to be a

very sharp judge of character.

What the hell is that

supposed to mean, Alan?

I'm just saying, be

your good, old fashioned,

charming, on time self.

I feel bad about this.

What are you, a martyr?

All I did was put

my foot in the door.

Nobody gets anywhere in

life without a little help

every now and then.

So you caught a bit of luck

being Paul Lombard's daughter.

I don't need to tell you

that being close to that guy,

it ain't necessarily

a game of Frisbee.

So let's just call this

fair compensation, ok?

Jude?

Jude?

Jude?

Jude?

Have a good round?

What are you doing?

I was going over there.

I had to make a stop.

God, you are completely

and utterly shameless.

Your car is right here.

Anyone could see you

were having an affair.

What are you doing, driving

around, looking for my car?

I had a meeting.

Jesus, Paul, I should have

known something was up.

All this golf in the winter.

How could you do

this to Lucille?

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