Only Human

ONLY HUMAN:

- What are you doing?

- Changing my shirt.

Did you forget the deodorant?

I don't think so.

I've never seen

such huge aureoles.

Thanks.

- Perhaps you have a fever.

- No, I don't.

I sweat when I'm being

questioned by a Nazi.

- He wasn't a Nazi.

- Yes, he was.

He worked for Iberia.

Nazi. Look how

he left my suitcase.

You shouldn't use the word

'Nazi' so lightly.

It wasn't your ass

that was examined.

- You would have liked that.

- You don't believe me?

No.

- He was looking for explosives.

- Really?

Now you want details.

How do I look?

Fine.

What's wrong?

We're too tense.

Let's make love.

Okay.

I'll remove the explosives.

Remind me why we are together.

- It will sound corny.

- I don't care.

We love each other

and we don't care what people think.

My little sister.

Okay. Two.

Well, redhead.

Like a scarecrow.

Completely shapeless.

Like two fried eggs.

Why are you so interested?

You're a pig.

You're still a pig.

Find out yourself.

Because talking about my sister bores me.

Because she's frigid.

- Get out!

- You've been there for an hour.

I'm naked.

- It's four minutes away.

- Shove them up your ass.

- I'm not looking.

- Yeah, right.

My brother.

Getting ready to jerk off.

What are you doing?

You can't cut paper

when Sabbath begins.

He's religious now.

He's like The Fiddler on the Roof.

What does the rabbi think about

your touching your violin?

- That's my towel.

- Give me mine.

- Is acne contagious?

- Are louses contagious?

- Mom!

- Leave your brother alone.

I'll see you at 11.

- Where's my duck?

- In the toilet.

What if somebody flushes it?

- How are we supposed to bathe?

- Take it easy.

Don't be upset.

Everything's okay.

- He's going to get away.

- He can't fly.

- And jump?

- He can't jump either.

I need those 50 back.

You can't handle money during Sabbath.

- Somebody get that!

- You're mean.

- They are mean.

- They don't kill you.

- Tania!

- I'm waxing!

- Killing is wrong.

- Not always, sweetheart.

- David!

- You're not a human being.

Go on and open the door.

- Who are you?

- You know who I am.

No.

- I'm your Aunt Leni.

- No.

- I'm not your Aunt Leni?

- No!

Will you give me a kiss?

- You're really fat.

- I'm going to have a baby.

Congratulations.

A boy or a girl?

Twins.

- This is Rafi.

- Hi.

This is for you.

Do you think we should have kids?

Yes, but not like her.

Maybe we'll be lousy parents.

- You definitely will.

- Leni!

Look who's talking.

Leni!

- I'm in the kitchen.

- I know.

My girl!

Honey. I really missed you.

- Haven't you seen me on TV?

- It's not the same.

You must speak to your sister.

This is Rafi.

I'm sorry, I have to kiss her

as much as I can.

- Don't mind me.

- He speaks so well.

- Thanks. I came when I was 12.

- He's also modest.

Well...

Welcome.

It makes me very happy

to see her happy.

She's the only thing

I can be proud of.

No, please, she'll get sick.

That's so sweet.

You didn't have to.

I also brought you this.

Where are you going, David?

You can't turn the lights on

during Sabbath.

- Nice cap.

- Thanks.

What are you doing with that?

- What are you throwing away?

- It's not kosher.

It's not kosher to throw away food.

Say hello to them properly.

Leni!

- How are the Catalonians?

- They're okay.

I didn't have time

to see your show.

I forgive you.

This is Rafi.

- What does it mean?

- You should teach him Hebrew.

Are you kosher?

Do you eat pork?

- No.

- That's a start.

- I can turn on the candles.

- Some other time.

I want to introduce him

to Dudu.

- What's up with him?

- The usual.

Another trend.

Perhaps he'll stick to this one.

It's better than taking drugs.

They like you.

I think they think I'm Jewish.

I forgot to tell you.

Did you tell them I was Jewish?

- Israeli.

- Israeli?

- You have an Israeli passport.

- Am I also circumcised?

I wanted them to judge you

without prejudice.

- You said they were liberals.

- They are.

Until they find out I'm Palestinian.

Nothing's going to change.

We'll tell them now.

What do I do in the meantime?

Light candles with

your brother the settler?

Tolerance. Remember?

Tolerance.

- Dudu, it's me.

- Leni.

The voice of an angel.

It's been so long.

- I want you to meet someone.

- Okay.

- Male or female?

- Male.

- He's not laughing.

- He's mad at me.

- How old? 60?

- 32.

You need to work out.

What section of the army?

- Dudu...

- No, don't say a word.

Give me your hand.

Calluses on his hands,

glasses, languages... IDF.

- What's that?

- Didn't you tell her?

Intelligence Service of the Israeli Army.

In '48 we didn't

need intelligence,

we needed balls.

Where did you fight?

- First Intifada.

- A children's war.

Feel this. 82 years old.

The war of independence,

the war in Suez.

My eardrums exploded,

two bullets in the chest,

two blind eyes,

and I'll show you something else.

Something else.

- I'm a dead man.

- He's harmless.

- I killed four Arabians.

- You shouldn't do that.

We had to do it in the dark.

Ready for the fifth.

Paula! Get out of there.

- That's it with the rifle!

- No, no.

I warned you

I would take it away.

You should respect

an old man.

Paula! Where?

If you don't give it to me,

I'll send you to a home.

I never say 'no' to a woman.

They're all waiting for you.

Here's your medicine,

and the powder for your feet.

Leni, take the girl.

Rafi, the clothes. God.

- What are you doing to my girl?

- What are you doing to her?

This is going to charity.

- I'm sorry. I didn't see her.

- It's not your fault. What?

- I want Band-Aids.

- Come on, I'll get you some.

I have a throbbing headache!

Here you go. Sit down.

Oh, God.

What's all this?

Hormones, for my cholesterol.

And anti-depressants.

Since when do you take

anti-depressants?

I don't remember.

The doctor prescribed them.

- Why?

- Because I asked him to.

- What kind of doctor is he?

- A very good one.

- Mom!

- What do you expect?

Your granddad depresses me,

your siblings depress me.

- Your father depresses me.

- Where is he, by the way?

Where he usually is.

At work until past midnight.

He has a lower position now.

They used to fire people,

now they lower their position.

I told him you were coming.

He'd rather work for a guy

he can't stand,

than come here

to meet his future son-in-law.

And your sister goes out

seven days a week

to get laid with total strangers.

Talk to her.

What shall I say to her?

That she's 28,

that she has a daughter.

- She has no job.

- What about her dancing?

It's not even enough

to live here for free.

She only thinks about getting laid.

She'll never meet a father

for her daughter.

- She needs some distraction.

- So do I.

But maternity and nymphomania

are not compatible.

What's so funny?

What if she catches AIDS?

She must take precautions.

She never took precautions in her life.

In the bedroom with the girl there.

What if she brings a rapist

or a murderer?

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