Only You Page #4

LESLIE:

And I told Ted I'd be home later

if he wanted to stop by.

FAITH:

I thought you said you thought he

had a date.

LESLIE:

Well, after that.

As they talk, a slight GUY, one who might best be described

as, well, non-descript, walks by and heads into his apartment.

NON-DESCRIPT GUY

How's it going?

FAITH:

Pretty well, Dwayne. How about

you?

DWAYNE:

Can't complain.

He closes his door. Kate looks at Faith. Who shakes her

head.

FAITH:

No.

KATE:

Is he married?

FAITH:

No.

KATE:

Is he gay?

FAITH:

I don't know. I don't think so.

KATE:

So?...

FAITH:

So, he's not my type.

(beat)

Let me walk you to the elevator.

They walk.

KATE:

What's he do?

FAITH:

I don't know, Kate.

KATE:

You don't have any idea?

FAITH:

He's a podiatrist or something.

KATE AND LESLIE:

(in unison)

He's a doctor?

FAITH:

Look, there's no chemistry there,

okay? There's no... thrill.

KATE:

"Thrills"? That's what you're

waiting for? You know how long

that lasts? Besides, how do you

know? Have you ever been out with

him?

FAITH:

No. He's never asked me.

KATE:

Why don't you ask him?

FAITH:

Why should I ask someone out who

I don't want to go out with in the

first place?

KATE:

If you've never been out with him,

how do you know you don't want to

go out with him?

LESLIE:

(almost more to

herself)

I thought he was kinda cute...

Faith sighs. Mercifully, the elevator doors finally open.

Kate and Leslie get in. As the doors close,

KATE:

Take a chance, Faith... None of

us is getting any younger...

INT. FAITH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Faith re-enters her apartment. The answering machine light

is blinking. She plays the message back as she gets ready

for bed.

ANSWERING MACHINE

Hi, honey. It's Mom. I just

wanted to apologize if I upset you

at brunch today.

To herself in the bathroom mirror,

FAITH:

If you upset me at brunch today?

ANSWERING MACHINE

(correcting

herself)

For upsetting you at brunch today.

Now, you know I don't think you're

a failure. And if you never get

married, that's perfectly fine with

your father and me.

Faith is applying eye cream. She leans in closer, carefully

examining the lines around her eyes.

ANSWERING MACHINE

Of course you're not a freak.

You're right, plenty of people

aren't married.

(trying to be

supportive)

The guy who cuts my hair isn't

married. Hey... maybe you tw--

(a voice in the

background)

He's gay.

(her mother)

Oh. Never mind. Anyway, if you

want to spend the rest of your life

alone, well, that's your choice.

And I respect it. I just want you

to be happy, that's all.

(beat)

Hold on, your Dad wants to say

something.

(male voice)

Good fruit salad today, Faith.

(Mom takes the

phone back)

We'll talk to you soon, sweetie.

The machine shuts off. Faith gets into bed. Reaches for the

light. Then, remembering something, gets up.

There's a daily calendar lying on her dresser. She rips off

the top page, crumples it into a ball, drops it into the

wastebasket.

And turns out the light.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

A vast audience of PEOPLE, all clad in ridiculous get-ups.

Faith is wearing a chicken suit. Her Mother is there, in an

octopus costume. Kate and Larry are Siamese twins. Leslie

is dressed as a radish. MONTY HALL steps up to Faith.

MONTY HALL:

So, which one is it gonna be,

Faith? Will it be... Door Number

One?...

DWAYNE, the podiatrist, peeks out from between the curtains

of Door Number One. Waves. The CROWD goes WILD.

MONTY HALL:

Door Number Two?...

The distinct BRAYING of a DONKEY can be heard emanating from

behind Door Number Two.

MONTY HALL:

Or Door Number Three?...

A complete mystery. This one seems to glow.

ALL:

(chanting)

Take Dwayne! Take Dwayne!

CAROL MERRILL is running an arm sensuously along Door Number

One.

FAITH:

(nervously)

Door Number Three?

Murmurs of dismay ripple through the crowd. The curtains

part. To reveal a shriveled OLD CRONE, covered in cobwebs,

who bears an unsettling resemblance to Faith. The crowd BOOS.

INT. FAITH'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Faith shoots up in bed, in a cold sweat.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FAITH'S APARTMENT - THE NEXT MORNING

Faith exits her apartment and heads down the hall, carrying

a wastebasket. She opens the garbage chute, lifts up the

basket, but as she tilts it, her hand slips and a multitude

of crumpled little balls, all those days, go spilling out onto

the floor. She just stares down at them, on the edge. When,

O.S.

You need some help?

She looks up. It's Dwayne.

FAITH:

I do...

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