Opening Night Page #3

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- Yes, ma'am.

- Are you all right?

- Sure.

- These are today's, aren't they?

- [Man] Yes, these are the morning...

- and those are the afternoon.

- [Myrtle] Okay.

Would you put those

on my bill, please?

Certainly, Miss Gordon.

- What's wrong?

- Five, please.

- Do I have any mail?

- One moment, please.

Nothing. Would you like a key?

[Mutters, Indistinct]

[Buzzer]

- Repeat after me: Baruch.

- Baruch.

- Atah.

- Atah.

- Adonai.

- Adonai.

- Eloheinu.

- Eloheinu.

- [Buzzer]

- Melech.

- Melech.

- Ha'olam.

- Ha'olam.

- Dayan.

- Dayan.

- Ha'emet.

- Ha'emet.

- Praise be thou, O God.

- Praise be, O God.

- Righteous judge.

- Righteous judge.

- Amen.

- Amen.

[Sobbing]

[Woman Whispering]

All right. It'll be all right.

I'm Myrtle Gordon.

- [Sobbing] Eddie, I'm so sorry.

- Excuse me, but this happens to be...

a very, very bad time for us.

Please be quiet.

Take it easy.

[Woman] I lost my daughter today.

You must forgive us.

I know who you are.

At another time, this house would've

been bedlam had you paid a visit.

Come in.

She was trying to see you.

That's how it happened.

Yes, she was very beautiful.

I did see her.

- She had extraordinary eyes.

- You don't have children.

If you had,

you wouldn't have come here.

No, I don't.

I don't have children.

##[Ballad On Piano]

[Man]

#Lyin'eyes don't smile at me #

#It kills romance too easily #

#For love is like

coming home again #

[Woman] Can I freshen you up

a little bit, Miss Gordon?

- #Hold my breath and count to ten ##

- Uh, yeah, but just one more.

I've got a show to do tonight.

Listen, I don't want to impose upon you,

but this joker's been begging me to get

a couple autographs for his kids.

Would you mind terribly?

- No, that's fine.

- Fantastic. There you are.

- I told you she was a fantastic broad.

- Great. Thank you, Miss Gordon.

Thanks.

[Laughing]

- How are you, Kelly?

- Workin'. Hangin'up clothes.

You're looking good.

Well, we all have to please.

We have to please our audiences.

Isn't that right, Mr. Victor?

That's right, that's right.

Very intelligent.

Hey.

You're not funny anymore.

It's a serious play, Manny.

Look at that. Isn't that wonderful?

She knows it's a serious play.

[Chuckles]

I mean it.

You're not funny anymore.

You used to break me up.

That's right. I'd just have to look at you.

I'd fall on the floor laughing.

But you've changed.

Your whole countenance has changed.

You're like some proud queen.

I think you're in line

for a few bad habits.

So I'm gonna take you

out after the show.

Then I'm gonna take off

all my clothes...

and show you this beautiful body.

[Laughing]

Hey.

You're the most exciting woman

that I've ever known.

And the greatest actress.

- But you're no fun anymore.

- It's a sad play. She didn't write it.

Sit down, will ya, please?

Look in the mirror. Am I beginning

to look like Humphrey Bogart to you?

- Now, wait a minute. Let's discuss that.

- No, answer the question.

- Am I or am I not Humphrey Bogart?

- You're upsetting her, Manny.

- Shut up, please, Kelly.

- She doesn't sleep at night.

There's no time. She has to go on.

I'm not funny because

I can't take myself seriously anymore.

- I'm just so struck by...

- [Knock At Door]

the cruelty in this damn play.

[Man]

Miss Gordon?

You're on.

[Man] Houselights down.

Places, please!

Curtain!

[Applause]

[Actors Performing, Indistinct]

Hey! There's a woman here!

Hey, and she ain't bad-looking either.

Hey, she left.

- Virginia! Hey.

- Tony!

- Tony! What are you doing?

- Look.

I'm married. Give me a break.

- I'm gonna have a heart attack.

- Me too.

- Are you kidding? You're wonderful.

- You're wonderful.

[Man]

Tony doesn't like me to interfere.

Charlie, get away from the door.

[Charlie] Maybe she's

a house detective from the noise.

[Woman]

I'm sorry. I'm going out there.

- [Woman] What happened?

- They're near the staircase.

They're talking.

- Do you think he knows her?

- Yes, it's the first wife.

You've got to understand.

It's a shock for me to see you.

I'm not seeing you alone on a street corner.

I didn't bump into you in a crowd.

[Chuckling]

- [Applause]

- Hello.

What the hell is going on here?

Who's this dame?

This is Virginia.

Wait a minute, Virginia!

Wait a minute.

I expect you to say hello

to my family.

- Hello.

- Hello.

This is, uh -

This is my ex-wife from 15 years ago.

And this is my new wife.

Wait a minute, Virginia.

- Listen, I'm really awfully sorry

to just come in like this.

- This is my sister-in-law, Carla.

- I want you to meet Charlie Spikes.

- I should've given some -

- This is Charlie Spikes.

- I got a letter from home that

said Tony was gonna be here.

- My daughter, Leona.

- Hi.

My wife, Lena. This is Virginia.

Say hello to Virginia.

- Shake hands. Come on.

- I feel I'm intruding.

You haven't met my son Vito!

Goddamn it, no!

- You haven't met my son Vito.

- What's going on?

- Get away from me!

- Charlie, leave him alone. He's an ass.

And you shut up too!

This is my wife.

She's a princess.

See my kids?

I got a lot of kids.

I got three here,

and I got two back home.

My wife hates

the population explosion too...

but she don't mind having them,

because she has easy babies, that's right.

- Ease off, Tony.

- Get away from me!

She goes in, and 15 minutes later,

pop! They come out.

- All right, Tony.

What are you doing, Tony?

- That right?

Lena, listen.

You don't understand what I'm saying.

I'm saying that because Virginia doesn't

like kids. I don't want my kids near her.

- You're out of line, Tony!

- Tony, just leave him alone!

Just leave him alone,

you bully son of a b*tch!

How dare you?

Who do you think you are?

- You have no right!

- All right, I'm sorry.

This is Carla. I'm not afraid of you!

I'll kick you right where it hurts!

- All right, I'm sorry.

- [Lena] What do you want?

What kind of woman are you?

Lena, come here.

Come here!

Just sit down.

- [Carla] Tony--

- [Tony]Just sit down.

Listen, you son of a b*tch!

Keep away from me!

- [All Shouting]

- Goddamn it, I'll kill ya!

- Stop it!

- Stay the hell away from me!

- Will you cool it!

- Keep him away from me!

- Just get him away from me!

- [Carla] Can't you just stop it?

I mean, you're hurting your wife!

You're hurting your kids!

[Virginia]

I'm so sorry.

I'm- I'm so sorry.

See this?

[Chuckles]

I wore this veil because

he used to be so crazy about veils.

I'm sorry.

I'm a stupid woman, and I -

This is very embarrassing,

and I'm just sorry.

It's just that there's such a difference

between what you dream about...

and what's really there, isn't there?

- [Groans]

- What's the matter?

- What's the matter?

- [Sobbing]

Come on, now. Stop that.

Stop being a pissant.

Go out there

and play the sh*t out of it.

Come on now.

You got it.

Go on.

[Marty] I'm sore at you.

I don't know why.

[Chuckling]

What are you doing,

talking to your pictures?

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