Operation Petticoat Page #8

Let's take a look. Cover us, Bayle.

They're shooting looters, you know?

- I know. Let's not panic.

What about the pig?

What pig?

- What pig? This pig!

I don't see any pig.

- You don't see any pig?

Take off your coat.

Take off my coat?

- Take off your coat.

Are you out of....

Put it on the pig.

Put it on the pig??

- Put it on the pig!

Do you have a cap? Do you have a cap?

- Yes, sir.

Take it off!

Give me the cap! Give it to me!

Hold him!

Stay here, Bill, and

keep me covered.

Good evening, Corporal.

- What are you doing out here?

I'm Lieutenant Holden, off the

"Sea Tiger". We're tied up for repairs.

We were out trying to locate

some spare diesel parts.

What is that?

That's Seaman Hornsby. How

are you feeling, Seaman Hornsby?

He's not too well.

- What's the matter with him?

Well, he drinks...

... "Gilly juice" you know?

The alcohol from the torpedoes.

Easy, sailor. I think we're going

to have to get him back to the boat.

If anything happens to him

we're in an awful lot of trouble.

You see, he's the only

radio operator we have.

Easy, Hornsby.

- He doesn't look too good.

No.

- You'd better let us take him to the hospital.

No, no. That's not necessary.

We have a doctor on board.

Well, you'd better get this man to your doctor.

- All right. Thank you.

Happy New Year, Corporal.

- Let them pass.

Who were they?

- Three sailors off a submarine.

Guy named Hornsby was sick,

you should have seen him.

Now I know why they call

submarines "pig boats".

Man, he was the ugliest.

Oh, Captain...

a couple of Army MPs out here

want to see you.

MPs?

- MPs.

Okay, okay.

Sir, this man claims that your men

stole a pig from his farm.

The biggest one he had,

and drove off in a truck;...

The only truck that passed us tonight

was headed for this boat.

That's ridiculous, Corporal. None

of my men would...

Is Lieutenant Holden back?

- I do not know, sir.

Who?

Corporal.

Good evening, sir.

- Watson.

Lt. Holden was one of the men on

the truck. He had two other men with him...

A Hunkle and Seaman Hornsby.

Seaman Hornsby?

Yes, sir, he was drunk. They

were bringing him back to the boat.

Where is Seaman Hornsby?

He's not feeling too well, sir.

- I didn't ask you that. Where is he?

He's been drinking.

- Where is he?

In the officer's head.

Just a minute.

Well, the man is right.

Undoubtedly his pig was stolen.

You might as well admit it,

Mr. Holden ;...

When Hornsby runs wild

there's no telling what he might do.

He behaves like a perfect swine.

Look, Corporal, he's in no condition

to be reprimanded tonight...

but I can assure you that tomorrow

he's in for a good roasting!

I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid

we'll have to take him in.

Now wait a minute, Corporal.

Sometimes there is a

reason for drinking...

... You see, Hornsby's been picked

for a dangerous assignment...

... and there is not much chance

that he will come through it alive.

Gee, I...

- I knew you would understand.

If this man want to

drop the charges...

I'm sure something can be arranged.

How much is the pig worth?

He won't take American money

with the Japanese coming.

One moment. Your pig's

not down there. Hey...

If you won't take American money

I don't see how we are going to...

You like that?

You would like to have that?

Okay.

I do not understand very well, we'll see.

I think he said he likes

the bag. You like the bag?

Good leather, but he does not know

what to do with those things.

Well, we can make a deal.

- But sir, that was a gift...

from the admiral's wife.

- Public Relations. Fair enough?

He said that his pig

is worth more.

No. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

You couldn't possibly...

- See if you like this.

But sir, you can't. I have...

- Do you like?

Sir, I need that for

my tennis shoulder.

Your tennis shoulder?

- Yes

Well, we can take care of that.

Now you don't need it for your tennis

shoulder. Now, what about it?

Oh, yes.

- What did he say?

He said that his pig

weighed two hundred pounds.

And it is not enough.

- I see. That's it, yes.

It's a shame.

- Just a minute. Get back.

Let's see here.

Yes, this.

Sir, that's solid silver.

Still not enough?

Let's look here...

Oh, these!

Non-regulation!

Saks Fifth Avenue.

Well?

Put it on your face.

Shoes!

Shoes. Yes.

- Not my Supadance. Sir, please.

These are your dancing shoes, aren't they?

- Yes.

Do you like to dance?

Dance?

He likes to dance, perfect.

Is that enough?

Goodbye. Here, just a moment.

Here's gift for you. That's to go with

the shoes; a little bonus.

Well.

Very thoughtful of you to offer dinner

for the men. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

I suggest you get Hornsby out

of uniform and help him to the galley.

[ Thank you! ]

[ Thank you! ]

So am I.

Yes, they're drafting

everybody these days.

Pink!

Twenty-five years I've

been in the Navy...

... and I've never seen nothing like this.

A pink submarine.

All right, you guys, you have three

hours to have a Happy New Year.

But at 17:
00 every man on this crew

starts painting her gray!

This pork is great.

Aren't you going to have any, sir?

No, Hornsby and I have been

through too much together.

Captain, can I talk to you?

- Yes, Major.

It's about Dolores. I can't

get her to come up here.

She says that you'd

rather she didn't.

She's tried to apologize, but

you won't even talk to her.

She thinks that you've been avoiding her.

- Only in self-defence.

She's scared to death of you.

It's New Year's, Captain.

The poor girl is down

there all by herself.

It would be nice if you would

go down and invite her up.

All right, Major, I'll extend

a personal invitation.

Isn't this a lovely shade of pink.

Please ma'am, I'm trying to eat.

Throw me a pickle.

- The first time I met her...

Mr. Tostin, was...

- Chief.

I was thinking that if you cross

connect the engine cooling system...

and the mufflers you could

drown out those sparks.

The engine cooling system

and the mufflers?

Are you crazy?

Hey, you know

that might work.

Would you like some pork, Major?

Thank you.

Captain.

- What?

I've looked up and down this boat

and I can't find Mr. Holden.

Or Barbara, er, Lieutenant Duran.

- No kidding!

And number three life raft is missing.

- Fancy that!

Well, if they're gone and the number three...

- One moment, Watson, listen...

... Have you ever been to Las Vegas?

Because up there the boys would say that

you're trying to make your point the hard way.

When a girl is under twenty

one she is protected by law.

When she is over sixty five,

she is protected by nature.

Any where in between -

she's fair game.

Put that away.

May I come in?

- Yes, of course.

Why aren't you at the party?

I really didn't think that

you wanted me there.

I would probably do something out

of line and you would be angry.

Captain, you may not believe this

... but all of those things that

happened were accidents.

I'm sure they were.

Lieutenant, if I've been short-tempered,

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