Opposite Day Page #5

---

are probably having

the time of their lives

right now!

It's jail!

How fun can it be?

You can do it!

Ah, no, I can't!

Whoo!

Robert, what are you doing?

Ah!

I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm so sorry.

I think I got some cereal

in my pants.

Don't you two

have to go to school?

Um, Dad, I've been

thinking about that,

and, um, I don't wanna go.

I'm not asking!

I'm telling!

Gotcha!

Hey! Don't make me

come back there!

Now buckle up!

You stop it!

You stop it! You stop it!

Dad hit the trash cans!

Hey, watch it!

He doesn't know what he's doing!

Oh yeah! Wicked!

We're really moving now!

Jeff Gordon coming through!

I said small flathead!

Yes, sir, here's the small one.

Dad, Dad...

Dad! Dad! Dad!

Would you help me

build my rocket now?

Not now.

Can't you see I'm working?

Oh, come on!

Sir, the dispenser units

for the birds

are ready to be tested.

Excellent!

Aren't you supposed

to be in school?

I don't wanna go!

You are going!

- No!

- Yes!

- Why?

- Because I said so.

OK.

When I was a kid

I would dream

that I was grown up

Finally on my own

No people to tell me...

So, this is work.

Yup, the place

that pays the bills.

Pays the what?

You are totally

out of it today, girl.

You probably just need

a pick-me-up.

A pick-me-what?

It's coffee.

Who drinks coffee?

We do. Let's go.

I'll have a grande

vanilla mocha-choco

sugar-free nonfat

choco-latte,

extra hot, over ice with

whipped cream and sprinkles.

Oh, and do you have goat's milk?

Sorry. Fresh out.

I'll have soy then.

She'll have the same.

Blended.

Ew!

It's our usual!

Hi.

Matthew, stop it!

Nice one!

Don't encourage him!

We're late enough as it is.

Copycat Ad Agency,

may I please help you?

Copycat Ad Agency...

I've been late twice this week,

and Reynolds is all over me!

Who's Reynolds?

Your boss!

Did you rob a circus clown?

No.

Is this the new summer fashion?

Actually, it's my mom's.

Whatever.

Come on!

This is the only

original we have,

so guard it with your life.

I need you to make

20 copies, collated.

Double side the bottom half

in black and white,

then single side

the top half in colour.

Fax it as an attachment

to the client's FTP site.

Paperclip the hard copy,

then staple it.

You know what?

I really don't care.

Ugh! The plug!

We decided,

for your new moisturizer,

we would have to

come up with the best,

'cause you are the best.

Well, I'm expecting the best.

Come on,

I just wanna be a friend.

You look like

a nicer copy machine.

Let's try you out.

Come on.

Oh no, it's a shredder! No!

Oh! Bad shredder!

Spit it out!

The clients are here!

Grab the presentation!

Hurry up!

Come on, let's go!

One sec.

Let's go.

Mostly sunny skies today with

a light east-coming breeze.

Expect temperatures...

Hey, hey,

you wanna shoot some hoops?

Sorry, pal, I have to

deliver the US mail.

Hey, guys, wanna play

some basketball?

Can't. We're on duty.

D7...

G4...

Boom! Gotcha!

You want to play?

Let's play.

You should slow down, pal.

After this one,

I never wanna see

another malt again.

You off work today?

Today and every day.

You got family?

A wife?

Yeah.

I guess so.

Wife and kids.

The whole shebang.

Aren't they the most

adorable kids you ever saw?

Yeah, they're just darling.

Unbelievable

how fast they grow up.

Never fast enough for them.

That was my problem.

I wanted to be an adult,

so I didn't enjoy my childhood.

Didn't make the moments count.

Didn't listen to my parents.

I became a pretty mixed-up kid.

Boy, wish I could

turn back the years.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I know exactly what you mean.

I've gotta

turn things right again.

How much are the malts?

They're always on the house.

I'm Dr. Chaz Larabee.

Chaz?

I'm the best friend

you could ask for.

Can you turn it up, please?

Does the world around you

seem larger lately?

Can't seem to reach

the pedal anymore?

Trying to find answers

for the unexplainable?

Come on down to Cuddledyne

and see me, Dr. Chaz Larabee.

We don't just fix your clothes.

We fix your life.

Ha-ha! Cuddledyne.

Thanks again!

No pressure,

but the future of the firm

depends on your presentation.

I love your dress.

It's so big.

Where'd you get it?

My mom's closet.

Never heard of it.

Is that a new store?

Let's get started, shall we?

Our research shows that

80% of women prefer smooth skin

to dry, scaly skin.

And that, in a nutshell,

is the demographic

we're going after:

Savvy women

who like smooth skin.

Carla's gonna distribute

a mock-up print ad

for your new moisturizer.

Um...

yeah!

OK...

Could you just pass this around?

Thanks.

This is a copy

of somebody's bottom.

And where's the slogan?

You were supposed to

come up with a slogan!

"Smooth..."

Um...

right!

"Smooth...

"Smooth...

"bottom...

"Smooth as a baby's bottom."

Spot on!

I love it.

It's so fresh!

You're in!

Yeah, fantastic!

Look at the world I am creating.

I'll use my father's idea

of the overnight-delivery

Bird Express.

And I will use these birds

to fly to

London, France and New York

to carry the mist which will

change everyone's personality

and put the kids

in charge everywhere.

Keep it moving!

Keep it moving!

Hey, how much would it cost

for me to hire

you and your ninjas

as my elite bodyguards?

Hey, Mom, look what

he's doing to my hair!

Guys, we need to talk.

Go higher!

I've been thinking.

I need to explain to you

what's happened to everyone.

Alexei, there is

no sign of reversal.

The outcome could have

not been better.

- Hurry up!

- I'll be there in one second!

All the kids have taken on

the lives of their parents.

I want you to

speed up the operation.

We go hot today!

The birds must be ready

to fly immediately!

What are you up to,

Chaz-mataz?

Mistify the whole world

so the kids can be in charge!

Sorry.

You can't keep doing this.

It's not fair to your boy or me.

I'll be on time next week.

Let's go.

Make sure that all the jetpacks

are filled with the mist

and secured perfectly

on each bird

and ready for takeoff.

On second thought,

we'll talk later.

Come with me, guys.

Come on.

Give me my backpack!

Dad, run through the gate.

Godfrey, be on

your best behaviour

and I'll give you ice cream.

Open it, Joey.

Run! Run through the gate!

Run through the gate!

Run through the gate!

Run through the gate!

Dad, I wanna go see a movie.

Oh yeah, I wanna see

the one about the flying saucer.

Uh, we'll go tomorrow.

I promise.

We'll do a double feature, OK?

Can I help you?

We're here for

the, um... We're...

Afternoon tour!

Ah, how'd you guess?

My wife says

I have psychic abilities.

Go straight.

Right.

- Make your first right.

- Uh-huh.

Daycare's first door

on your left.

Thanks.

All right, I'm gonna

tell you the story now.

Be a little quiet now.

Regrettably, Dr. Larabee's

unable to join us

on our tour today.

So let's get started.

Five years ago, looking to

branch out from their roots

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes