Ordinary Decent Criminal
Morning.
Lovely morning.
- Not bad
Banks never on time, are they?
No, no, they're desperate.
Desperate.
Desperate altogether.
Try another branch.
Morning.
Like to make a withdrawal, please.
Harrison will defend
the bail application,
maybe even take the trial.
But he insists on
two thousand pounds in cash.
For a morning's work?
Up front.
As in now, before we go in.
I see, he doesn't trust me.
Here he is now,
Michael, he's worth it.
Morning.
- Morning
It's nearly time.
Are we in funds?
Huh?
Oh, the cash.
Just been to the bank.
No... not here, Mr. Lynch.
And you will be taking that off
in court, won't you?
The prosecution's claim that
they fear my client
might leave this country
while on bail,
is completely and totally
without foundation.
Especially when Mr. Lynch's
lovely little daughter, Breda
is having her
first Holy Communion soon
and it would be tragic
if her father were not
to be with her on that day.
So, Your Honour,
the State can find no course
in law or in justice
why this clean-living unassuming --
teetotaler should have
his bail rescinded.
Mr. Lynch may remain on bail
until his trial commences
two weeks on Monday.
Mr. Lynch, how does it feel to be
the most wanted man in Ireland?
Do you think
you'll get a fair trial?
Mr. Lynch, you enjoy making
the Gardai look thick, don't you?
Hold... a minute, lads...
don't ever think the Gardas
are thick, you'd be wrong.
It'd be a big mistake.
The Gardas are anything but thick.
In fact, I think the Gardas are
very, very clever.
Is your name Michael Patrick Lynch?
You see, right there,
an example of brains. You see?
Excuse me, I am Mr. Lynch's attorney
and I object very much...
I'm detaining you on suspicion of
possessing illegal substances,
under the Misuse of Drugs Act.
I know what you want to do.
You want to strip search me,
don't you?
Please, let go of him.
This man is my client.
Oh, I see, you think
you'll humble me, do you?
Oh, no...! Look at them!
Look at what I have to put up with!
Look at what they do
to innocent people.
Trying to grab a feel.
Trying to grab me balls, you queer.
You dirty perverts,
trying to get your rocks off.
Drugs? What drugs?
I've never done drugs in me life
and everyone knows it.
Show them your credentials, Mike.
Find the drugs.
Give us a look, get them off.
Find the drugs. Come on,
put your f***ing hand up my hole,
you poofters.
Come on.
Show 'em your credentials, Michael.
Hey, you f***ing faggots.
What are you afraid of?
You do it in private,
but not here, you f***ers.
Do you want any more, love?
I'm grand unless there's dessert?
Of course there is.
Is that you in the newspaper da?
Oh, can I finish that?
Yeah, waste not, want not. Thanks.
Oh, God, Michael, give it to me.
Give it to me.
You know the way
all that red meat makes him hyper.
Sorry, sorry wasn't thinking.
Your father first.
Who earns the money in this house?
Da does.
They're all grand.
There's enough for everyone.
They have to learn.
you just better go to bed
when you're told tonight.
Okay, mum.
Have you got Lynch with you, lads?
Check. We have him in our sights.
Clothes on or off today?
F*** off.
She's great.
Say hello to your da.
Go on. Found him.
Is that them, huh?
Is that the two sisters?
Oh, that's them all right, boy.
Bet he was glad he didn't have to
choose between them, huh?
Why choose
when you can have both, boy?
Mind your mothers now.
Do what they tell you.
See you tonight.
See you.
I'll call round later,
collect the kids, yeah?
Hey, Tommy, get off the bleeding
bike, come on.
Oh, come on, can I stay on?
You know I can't take you
without a helmet.
Please Auntie Lisa...
Come on, just one go.
Come on then,
say goodbye to your da.
Bye, da.
Wave him goodbye.
Look at daddy
going round and round.
Say goodbye.
Jesus, there's no way he can
shake us off, not out here anyway.
So what's the point?
Jesus. We're running very low
on petrol, Barry.
Control where's
the nearest service station?
Con's very worried about
the petrol situation.
He's getting out.
Okay, lads,
I'll be right back to you.
We're off.
Right, lads,
the nearest petrol station's
a good ten miles away, maybe more.
Oh, Jesus.
North east of the Bray Road.
Turn left for Bray.
There's an Esso on the left,
about three miles outside the town.
Keep in touch.
I don't believe this.
Ah for f***, I told you
stop for petrol, didn't I?
But, no, you said,
''We're fine, Con''.
Look at him.
Sure, give him a wave, you wander.
Where would you be
without the social welfare, huh?
I couldn't agree more, Michael.
A vital few bob.
Tony Brady.
It's the difference between eating
and not eating sometimes.
You said it, Tony. Good luck.
Later.
Michael Lynch.
And how are you today?
Fine thanks.
There you go.
You're a gentleman
do you know that?
Thank you.
It's fellas like you
make the world go around.
Right, we've caught up with Lynch.
Told you he wouldn't miss out
on collecting his precious dole.
Well, don't lose him this time.
Oh, don't worry,
we're up his hole, Control.
And we've a full tank
Mr. Lynch won't be getting away
from us again today.
Right, lads, keep in touch.
I'll say one thing for him,
he sticks to the speed limit.
Don't f*** about.
Yeah, no problem, Michael.
You're a mess, little brother.
Relax, we're just passing through!
F***ing hell!
Excuse me, ladies...
say hello to my little friend.
Ho... here we go. He's off.
Put your foot down there, Con.
Something happening, Control.
You're telling me. There's a report
of a robbery at the dole office.
Oh, for f***'s sake, we're just
at the f***ing dole office.
What?
F*** it! What do we do now?
I never promised you a story.
You did!
I did not.
You did so, da!
What did I tell you about lying?
To lie to everyone
except you and ma.
And us.
Oh, yeah, and Auntie Lisa.
And the whole family. You never
lie to anyone in the family.
Tell us the story
about The Mansions, da.
Yeah, da,
tell us about The Mansions.
Fair enough.
Do you want to hear
the whole thing?
From the start.
Okay.
Long, long ago,
years ago before you were born
and your ma and me and Auntie Lisa
were very young
we all lived in a place
called The Mansions.
All our grannies and grand-dads
and brothers
and sisters and all our pals.
It was brilliant.
It was like a big hotel...
built specially for us
and all our mates.
And when I was young,
I used to think
God was smiling down on us.
Putting a special glow around us
so we could do as we pleased.
no-one getting in our way.
And that it would never change.
Tell us about the bailiffs, da.
All right, so.
Do you know what bailiffs are?
They're just like gods
but they're worse.
Much worse.
So... one day...
this was before you were born.
I was coming home
after working hard all day.
And I saw them -- the bailiffs
attacking our homes.
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"Ordinary Decent Criminal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ordinary_decent_criminal_15360>.
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