Orgazmo

## [Rock]

# Hey #

# What makes a man

Is it the power in his hands #

# Is it his quest for glory #

# Give it all you got to

to fight to the top #

# So we can know your story #

# Now you're a man #

# A man #

# A man, man, man #

# Now you're a man

a manny, manny, man #

# A man #

# A man, man, man #

# A man #

# You are now a man

You're a man #

# Now you're a man #

# Live it, live it #

# What makes a man

Is it the woman in his arms #

# Just 'cause she has big titties #

# Or is it the way he fights everyday #

# No, it's probably the titties #

# Now you're a male

a male, male, male #

# A man #

# Now you're a ma-male #

# A man #

# A ma-male, ma-male, male

Now you're a male #

# A man #

# M-A-N, man, man #

# Ma-man, man #

# Now you're a man ##

## [Ends]

## [Whistling]

Hello there.

My name is Robert White.

And I'm Joseph Young.

And we're with the Church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Who?.

Let me ask you a question.

What would you say

if someone offered you...

peace and happiness

through all of eternity?.

F*** off!

Thank you.

Have a nice day.

[Sighs]

Yeah, baby.

You make me so horny.

Oh, I want it so bad.

I bet you do.

And I'm gonna give it to you.

Oh, good. 'Cause I'm

so badly wanting it.

[Laughing]

Hi.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Almost.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. Harder.

[Moans]

Give it-- Oh, give it to me,

you big stud.

- I'm not a stud.

- Huh?.

I'm not a stud. I'm--

Jizzmaster Zero!

[Cackling]

[Yells]

Oh, no. Help!

- Somebody help!

- Ain't nobody gonna help you now, honey.

Somebody, save me.

Orgazmo!

Unhand her, Jizzmaster Zero!

You can't defeat me, Orgazmo!

Oh, yeah, I can too.

I'll use my Orgazmorator.

[Raspberries]

[Yells]

Oh, that feels good.

[Yells]

Now I will kick your ass.

Oh.

Hello, ma'am.

- My goodness, you have such

an attractive little garden here.

- Why, thank you, young man.

I just planted those flowers last week.

My, how they grow!

Yes, ma'am. We're from the Church

of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Oh, the Mormons?.

That's right.

I'm Elder Young,

and this is Elder White.

Well.

You two boys can just f*** right off.

[Both]

Ma'am?.

You heard me.

Take that book of Mormon and shove it so

far up your righteous asses that you choke,

you soul-soliciting pig f***ers.

There.

Gosh.

[Screaming]

Take this!

You take this!

Ha-ha!

[Shrieking]

Ow! I jammed my finger.

- Cut!

- Ow, ow! I jammed my finger!

Jesus!

[Shrieking]

Cut!

Goddamn it, cut!

What the hell was that?.

What is your problem, Zazinsky?.

He blocked. He wasn't supposed to block,

and he broke my finger.

You told me you knew how to fight.

Orgazmo's supposed to be a badass.

He shouldn't block me then!

Get back in there...

and look tough,

you f***ing pansy!

I can't.

My finger is broke.

You listen to me,

you cocky prick!

If you ever wanna work in porno again,

you'll do exactly what I say.

[Grunts]

Get back to work!

Hey, where are you and Lisa

gonna have the wedding?.

Well, of course, Lisa wants

to get married in the temple...

in Salt Lake City,

but it costs a lot of money.

I don't think I can afford it.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I don't know why the church makes it

so expensive to have a wedding there.

Hey, don't worry. If you really

want something to happen,

the Heavenly Father will

probably make it happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Action!

- I'm Jizzmaster Zero!

Oh, no. Help.

No one's gonna help

you now, honey!

Somebody save me.

Orgazmo.

- Unhand her, Jizzmaster -

- [Knocking]

- What is that?.

- It's the front door, stupid.

Cut! Goddamn it!

Bilbo!

Go see who that is and kill them

for disrupting my shoot!

Okay.

Hi. My name's Joseph Young.

And I'm Robert White.

We're with the church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Okay, hold on a second.

Uh--

Uh, boss?.

Some guys from Jesus?

Cut off their balls!

I gotta cut your balls off now.

Huh?

Why?

Hey, we can take a hint.

You're not ready to change faiths

right now. We respect that.

[Growling]

Ow!

Come here!

Wait, wait, wait, no!

-[Punches Landing]

-[Joe Groaning]

Now this is how you

kick somebody's ass.

That ought to teach those Moonies

to stay away from my house.

Please, I don't wanna hurt you.

You don't wanna hurt me, huh?.

Guards! More guards!

Just let me get my book and go.

Uh-huh.

- Wow.

- Oh, sorry.

- You little p*ssy!

- Oh!

[Yelling]

Sorry. Sorry.

Holy sh*t.

[Clapping]

That was brilliant!

You're terrific, kid.

What's your name?

Look, I didn't mean

to hurt these people.

Oh, no, no, no. They had it comin'

to them, the rotten bastards!

Why were you trying

to hurt this man?

What is it that you wanted?

Well, I-I'm from the Church

of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Uh-huh.

And I want to share

my love of Jesus with you.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Come on in!

Really?

Come on!

[Joe]

"I say untoyou, 'Nay, they are many.

Yea, and we can witness

of their sincerity,

because of their love towards their

brethren, and also towards us. "

So, you see, Jesus Christ

spoke to prophets...

right here

in the ancient Americas.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I dig that Jesus guy.

You do?.

Oh, sure. The kids love him.

Happy Tart?.

Oh, thank you.

Listen, kid.

Mmm.

[Clears Throat]

Have you ever considered acting?.

Me? Oh, yes. Actually,

I majored in theater at B.Y.U.

Go on.

Yeah.

Are you making a movie here?.

Yeah.

And I want you to take over

as the leading man in my film.

Me?

Really? Well, wow.

I still have another week

of mission work to do, but--

Well, what kind of movie is it?.

It's an action/adventure porno.

Porno? Like as in pornographic?

Well, yeah, but it's not like that.

Oh.

Oh, I don't do those--

those kind of movies.

Look, kid. It's two days' work,

and I'll give you $5,000.

Hey, you were only giving me 300.

How's your finger,

Chechechez?

I think it's better.

I'm ready to go.

Yeah?

- Ow!

- That certainly is a lot of money,

but I'm afraid

it goes against my beliefs.

Thank you very mu--

Look, kid.

You got me all wrong.

This is not your average porno.

This is a very touching script.

It's a poignant story about

some very important issues.

But are there people having intercourse?

Well, this is an adult film.

Well, see, I can't do that.

All right. Make it $7,000.

It's very nice of you to offer me

so much money, but--

Ten thousand.

I can't. See, I have a fiance.

And if she ever--

I got it.

We'll use a stunt cock.

Anytime there's actual penetration,

we'll bring in another penis.

We do it all the time.

All you have to concern yourself with

is the crime fighting and the acting.

But see, I'd still be acting

in a pornographic movie.

And that's what I--

Twenty thousand dollars.

Excuse me?

Twenty thousand dollars? Are you crazy?

Twenty thousand dollars

for two days' work?

And you don't even have to f***.

I have to think about this.

Can I think about this?

Sure. We'll start first thing

Monday morning.

Well, I have to think about this.

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