Paparazzi

I can't hear...

Can't hear you, Xavier.

I'll call you back.

I'll call back.

- Coming to lunch?

- Later.

Later.

Hang on, hang on...

Gotcha!

Where'd he go?

Up there.

I got the maid and...

what's her name?

Batala.

Mondo cool.

Nobody left.

A photo-op for House and Garden.

Call you back, Xavier.

Gotcha!

Come on,

give Guillaume a peck.

Sh*t.

Sh*t!

Hey, buddy!

You f***ed up good.

Could've cost me my job.

So give me back my thousand.

Nice tip. Your Sri Lankan babe.

- You owe me 1,000.

- Nice, thanks.

Get over to Adjani's.

10 days I been there. It's dead.

Right. She's got a new guy is all.

Get over there and stay put.

Where are you?

Call you back.

Hey, watch it!

- Sorry for doing my job.

- Yeah, right.

Who's this jackass?

You're smart - shoot the stands!

Stick to your millionaires

playing bally-wally.

Gotcha.

I just made 200,000 F.

Have a good night.

How's it going with Adjani?

Hang on.

He upstairs?

- Hey, Michel.

- Hey.

Otherwise, I'll go myself...

OK, bye.

Can't pick up a phone? I waited.

I'm not much on phones.

No, I'm going to deadline.

Call me later. Bye.

Julie! Tomorrow night at 9.

Gnocchi, like last time. Love it.

This one, but the guy's up front.

Who is that a**hole?

Some a**hole.

Guy practically caused

a stadium collapse.

Robert, this the cover or what?

I can shop it.

What's going on?

We got our cover.

- Who's that?

- Ever watch TV?

No, the guy standing up.

See?

Who gives a f***?

So there's a dwarf.

- I can delete him.

- Do it.

Sucks.

Yeah, it sucks.

Where's the other two?

Hell, leave him on the cover.

So he sues. What'll it run ya?

This guy, worst case, 100,000

Him 50, and her, what? 40?

40? Get out of here. 20 tops.

A 170,000 F cover.

Not half your budget.

Do a spyglass effect here.

Yeah, great.

And circle his hand in red,

like he's feeling her ass. Sex it up.

Michel, see you a sec?

Lookin' good.

50 plus 50 cash up front.

What? That's two bills.

200,000? He's a TV star,

not Marlon Brando.

And Brando's only 2

with his balls out.

A hundred plus 50 cash. Deal?

Blow up the kiss,

you lose the feel.

- Still the cover?

- Of course!

- The guy?

- F*** the guy.

Yeah, f*** the guy.

So, friend,

how was the game?

What game, sir?

Paris-Bordeaux.

Not a great TV in there.

For glancing at, it's fine.

That Marco Simone goal? He great?

Great. I went wild.

I could tell.

You look happy, Bordoni.

You're photogenic.

I got mid-field seats.

You just can't say no.

Right. Can't say no.

Meantime, this place explodes.

Another Chernobyl.

I was here at 11.

Go pick up your check.

Hi, Mrs. Bordoni here.

I'm leaving for work. I was worried.

Did my husband...

That you?

I was worried sick. It's almost 8.

What is it, hon?

I open the gate, the car stops.

He waves me over, I come over.

Frank, I got a 9 o'clock wax.

He says, "How was the game?"

So we're talking soccer.

Then he slips it in.

"So, friend..."

"So, friend" what?

What?

I got an hour on the subway.

I'm off nights.

Oh, that's great! We'll sleep

together again, like before.

- When do you start?

- Start what?

You're on days. Same pay?

Maybe a bit less.

Don't sweat it. Times like these,

long as you got a job.

You can't speak to the editor.

Hold on.

Guess What, please hold.

No, I'll transfer you

to our legal department.

I'll just take your name.

Bastards! You got no right

to f*** up people's lives!

- The editor!

- Can't stay here.

Move me, d*ckhead!

He's upset. Better move away.

Where's this get you?

No place.

No place.

Why these f***ing pictures?

My wife's an actress,

so she's a whore?!

That it, you cocksuckers?

I got a little photo problem, too.

I know she fucks around.

I don't need pictures!

I warned you.

No f***ing around.

I see his point.

Your clients get no press, they die.

Her last movie, we saw her ass.

Two months ago, she did a cover

for People, Elle, Time!

We've seen her house, her pool,

her dogs. We've seen it all.

Counselor, that is pertinent.

What's the problem?

Abortion is legal.

Plus, she looks fabulous.

So tell her abortion

is publicity, too.

Don't bust my chops with Lady Di.

People still buy my magazine.

Money and glory.

You can't have everything.

So let them sue, f*** it.

It's budgeted, I already won.

Yeah?

Recognize me?

Frank Bordoni, night watchman.

Don't need one.

Not that... This.

That's me.

Oh, right.

It is you.

I wasn't at work. I got fired.

Lousy break.

Who's R. R?

R. R?

The photographer. R.R.

I want to meet him. He got me fired.

I'm unemployed now. Who's R. R?

Ronald Reagan?

What's this MC Watson crap?

Go to Miami for only 50,000?!

- And get decked by a boxer?

- Never killed anyone.

- Raped a 15-yr. -old.

- She looked 20.

Get a picture of that.

Attack on freedom of the press.

How about your kid's birthday?

You think you're hot sh*t.

Red hot sh*t. It's tiresome.

What would you do

to this R.R. Guy?

The man wants to know

who took this.

It cost him his job.

- And you have debts?

- Yeah, I'm building a house.

What would you do to him?

Beat him senseless.

If he was two heads taller?

Go for his balls. He can't have 4.

Why all the questions? You the guy?

No way.

Help him out.

It's a human tragedy.

You came to the right guy.

He'll help you.

What's this?

Neighbor called. Wants 1,000 F.

Got my address?

Up here. Burned in.

Adjani wrapped up?

What? Where are you?

Well get out of bed!

A 104-fever is fine. Up to 107.

Get over to Tartine et Chocolat.

I can't get near it. They know me.

Sh*t!

Will you help?

I'm no star, I'm innocent.

You know R. R? Who is he?

Unemployed?

Want to make 1,000 F?

On the cover, Yasmine showed me.

Well, all you see is him!

Call Mom. And Jean-Luc.

No, he probably doesn't even know.

They'll be jealous at work.

OK, me too.

Your customer's here.

Be right there, Mrs. Casalis.

This is Mrs. Bordoni.

Can I speak to my husband?

Be right with you...

My husband.

Not there?

But he's on days now.

I see.

I'm obsessed. Will you help me?

Help you what?

Find R.R.

Sure we'll find R.R., but it might

take time. Got to research it.

Thanks.

A real scoop.

Your window.

Little scumbag.

Who?

Yellow jacket. 15 minutes ago,

he had a fever of 104.

What medicine he take?

- Where's the store?

- Courtyard.

Watch this.

Hello, I'm a neighbor of yours.

You have paparazzis out front.

Don't mention it. Bye now.

They're f***ed.

- Stroll in and hide.

- Where?

Behind the trash. When they...

- Who's in there?

- Johnny and Carla Bruni.

I take their picture? I love them.

- They're not together.

- They will be.

Awesome.

Look, best there is.

Press, turn. Press, turn.

Got it?

I think so.

I'll wait here. They know me.

- Here's your thou.

- After. You kidding?

This is great.

- Taxi's coming.

- Sir, Madam...

The back way, please.

Stay by the limo, keep them busy.

Drop it, come on.

It's not me, it's for a magazine!

Plus he's stupid!

This guy's a paparazzi?

See my puss?

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