Parallels Page #4

Really?

I'm sorry. I didn't see

a gas station on the way.

No, come on, guys,

we can walk from here.

Yeah, tell that

to the roving assassin squads.

Guys! Come on,

we gotta haul ass.

The building doesn't wait.

[SIGHS]

[]

Run with them, inside.

Inside. Go, go, go!

[]

I got you.

[]

POLLY:

And five,

four, three,

two, one.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Well? What happened?

Why aren't we jumping?

We will, we will.

Any second.

HAROLD:

Any second? You said 36 hours.

Roughly, yeah.

Roughly?

Oh, come on.

Come on!

[BEEPING]

[]

HAROLD:

Hurry up, hurry up, please.

B, I'm sorry.

For what?

Everything.

[BEEPING]

[]

[GRUNTS]

HAROLD:

Come on!

[ALARM BLARING]

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Lights, lights.

[BEEPING]

Let's do it. Let's do it.

Come on.

[]

HAROLD:

Come on!

[EXPLOSION]

[]

[GRUNTS]

Are you okay?

Yeah. You?

Yeah.

BEATRIX:
Harold, are you okay?

Yeah.

Are we home?

Home?

You thought

you were going home?

Where else

would we be going?

I thought you understood.

There is no going home.

[]

RONAN:

What, is this future?

No, it's not the future.

I told you guys the building

doesn't time travel.

It's still the exact same day,

exact same time.

You don't even have

to adjust your watch.

It's just a different Earth,

is all.

Oh, yeah, no big deal.

Just a completely

different Earth.

So we're stuck here.

POLLY:
It's not so bad.

I mean, the tech is decent.

HAROLD:
Decent?

This is 20 years

more advanced than we are.

All right,

we should look for Dad.

How?

I don't know, B.

I'm just kind of

making this up as I go.

Maybe we could

look him up online.

I'm sure they have

Internet here, right?

Let's go to the house.

How do we know

he's even living there?

How do we know he's not?

B, we gotta start somewhere.

You know?

Let's split up. Is that okay?

Is that okay? I don't know.

Are you guys, like, 5?

Yeah. And I could go

with you, Beatrix.

Yeah. Look, I'll just, uh--

I'll text you. What's your--?

What's your number?

Yeah, I am pretty sure

you don't have a cell phone plan

in this universe, pal.

Right, yeah.

All right, guys, here's

the deal. Batteries, cash, ammo,

it's gonna change

from world to world.

The only thing that matters

is you guys make it back here

before this gets to zero.

So don't be late

unless you wanna make this

your permanent

residence, okay?

I can live with that.

What were their names again?

Seriously?

That's Beatrix,

and that dweeb there is Harold.

And Beatrix is

your girlfriend, right?

No. She's my sister.

Right. I mean, I'm--

What was your name again?

Ronan. What, did you get

hit in the head?

[]

RONAN:

Yes. I'm starving.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.

What--? So, what's good?

What do you got?

Crombie.

Okay, what's a crombie?

Crombie is a crombie.

That's all we got.

Okay, two crombies then.

Whatever those are.

Heh.

[MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY

OVER SPEAKERS]

Huh.

Whoa.

Look at that thing.

This world is

so much better than ours.

I want it.

Harold. Harold.

COMPUTER:

Hello, welcome.

Do you realize

how insane this is?

I buy this, take it back home,

sell it to Apple?

Instant billionaire.

Can you do that?

Yeah.

Why not?

Well, I don't know.

It just seems like

it's kind of cheating.

[SCOFFS]

Tell it to my yacht.

Harry. Harold.

Sir.

CLERK:
That's 699.

Got that.

This is an opportunity, Beatrix,

and I am seizing it.

There's nothing

wrong about it.

And, look,

you play your cards right,

maybe you and I

can split the profits.

What am I supposed

to do with this?

Run it.

Dude, bio only.

What?

So why are you looking

for your dad?

I mean, my dad and I didn't have

the best relationship,

but he wouldn't just hide from

me, if that's what you mean.

You never know

who people really are.

Why haven't you seen him?

Just, after my mom died

we kind of went separate ways.

I'm really different

from my family, you know.

They're all smart,

and I'm just, uh...

My mom was a professor,

my dad's an engineer.

I mean,

B is going to Princeton.

And I'm a human

punching bag.

It's a good thing I got

a thick skull, though, huh?

I think you act dumber

than you really are.

WOMAN:

All right, here we go, okay?

Two crombies.

RONAN:

What is this?

Okay.

WOMAN:

You gotta pay. Right here.

[WOMAN CLEARS THROAT]

What?

Put your hand

on the scanner.

What's it gonna do to my hand?

It's a biometric scanner.

It takes the money

straight out of your account.

Really?

Yes.

Hey, you know what?

Thank you for your help,

we're actually just gonna go.

Come on.

Well...

[WHIRRING]

BEATRIX:

Oh, my God.

That person

looks just like you.

Oh, my God,

it does look like me.

That's me.

That's so weird.

HAROLD:

Right. He's got my face.

It's the same face.

Look.

We're not from around here.

It says you live

five blocks away.

Right. I know.

I just--

I just mean

we're not from right here.

Dude, you've shopped here

before.

HAROLD:

Ha, ha, ha. I know.

What's my address again?

[BEEPING]

You're not in the system.

Everybody's

in the system.

RONAN:

Whoa, come on.

Just take your time.

Not like I don't have a job.

Would you like to come up here

and pay for my meal?

What does that mean?

There ain't no Ronan Carver

on this Earth.

Either you're dead,

or you never existed.

We should go.

Yeah, but I'm starving. Hey!

On some Earths, this is

where they call the cops.

Come on. Come on,

let's go find your dad.

MAN:

Do you mind?

I'm a doctor, right.

Hey, give me both

of his crombies.

[BEEPING]

COMPUTER:

Hello, welcome.

I would like to purchase

your electronics, please.

Which electronics?

All of them.

[]

MAN:

Are you kidding me?

$60,000 worth of electronics?

Why the hell would I buy

all that crap?

It's goddamn identify theft,

I'm telling you.

Hey, this is it.

This is where I live.

This is where we've been

walking this whole time?

Harold,

I don't have time for this.

I have to go out

and find my dad

or at least try to find out

how to find my dad.

Come on, this is--

We're right here.

Look, I must've a laptop

or something up there.

You can look him up online.

What if we go

and then you answer the door?

[SIGHS]

It'd be a little weird,

but I gotta

give it a shot, right?

Wouldn't you?

I don't know about this.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Maybe I'm not home.

[BEEPS]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

Well, I guess

you're home now.

[]

Hello?

Shh.

No way.

Look at this place.

I hate other Harold.

BEATRIX:

What? Why?

Well, he seems

much more awesome than me.

Oh, come on,

you're awesome.

He's traveled.

I bet other Harold hasn't been

to an alternate nuked-out Earth.

Yeah, but I mean

he's got a nice apartment.

Yeah,

but your mom's place...

Okay, yeah,

I say what you're saying.

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

Well, hello.

[COMPUTER WHIRS]

Hey, Harold,

what is your password?

I wanna Google my dad

or Shmoogle him

or whatever they do here.

How am I gonna know

what his password is?

Well, because he's you.

No, it's a different me.

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