Parched Page #2

Speaks English fluently.

She negotiated our new contract.

Soon our business will boom.

You're so beautiful!

Such soft skin!

Fair like a foreigner.

Kishan you have a good eye.

Let's meet tomorrow.

I'll arrange the advance till then.

I've heard foreign women bathe

in milk. That's why they glow.

Duffer!

Only one thing makes a woman glow...

Not milk, soap or cream.

In Bl]'/I's words...

It's called sex!

That's why you and I look so sad!

What's the date today?

I heard the dance company is here.

Let's go to see Bijli tonight!

Bijli... The Earthquake-maker!!!

The Dance Company is back!

Once again in your village!

A night of lust and passion...

With the queen! Bijli!

First show tonight at 8!

Pull out your wallets,

the Earthquake-maker is here!

Shake it my prince...

Shake it Inspector...

Sit back, relax Inspector...

you're off duty now!

Shake it my Prince...

Shake it Inspector...

I will shake down your courtiers...

Turn their squirrels to snakes...

I will break your pride...

I will disrupt your peace!

I will zap your brains...

I will make...

I will make...

I will make your earth shake...

I will make your earth shake...

I will make an earthquake in your bed.

Yes, an earthquake in your bed.

She agreed to sex you up for 500.

You have an hour.

Go get deflowered!

Make your father proud!

I hope your shooter works.

Like an AK-47!

When I stretch like this...

Even the morning gets shy...

When my anklets ring...

The earth comes alive...

I'm an angel...

A witch...

A babe...

A b*tch...

No innocent flower.

Go ahead deflower!

She will make the earth shake.

She will make the earth shake.

She will bring an

earthquake in the bed.

Look Bijli...

We don't turn away clients.

Make your money while

they still want you.

My heart's not in it.

Get it?

Life's more than just money and sex.

And don't start about

bringing on a new girl.

Or I'll run off to Mumbai!

Aha! Marilyn Monroe

and her stardom dreams...

I've been hearing this for 3 years.

Listen... I'm like your father.

So I'll tell you the truth.

You are a whore.

And will always be a whore.

So shut up and go earn!

In that case daddy dearest...

I have a request.

My body is a little wrung out today...

Tell your client

to come another night.

This shop is closed!

Here is your bottle.

I am glad you refused that client.

Why?

Thought you'd get lucky tonight?

Bijli...

Please shut your

tent securely at night.

When I came to wake you today,

your skirt...

Why is it you always wake me?

Does the boss pay you extra for it?

You'd prefer someone else?

I wish!

But just my luck...

You are my only cuckoo clock.

Bijli... You're back!

Lajjo! It's been ages!

Hello!

Goodbye!

Yeah... I'm going.

Hey Rani...

So I said to the boss...

No way. Go to hell!

From now on...

Bijli opens only for love.

You want to give up your life

and become like us?

She's lost it!

Can't she see how

boring and sad we are?

Come here... I have a secret.

I met a man in the last village.

He taught me to dream.

Rocked me to the

moon and back all night.

In the morning he said...

Hey Bijju... dream away.

Your whole life is ahead of you.

What a man!

I'm still burning up.

Those long dancing fingers...

Soft tickling moustache.

Hang on!

Should I imagine fingers or moustache?

You choose.

He stroked me the whole night...

Pressed all the right buttons.

I went straight to heaven!

And then he aroused me...

With his words!

I doubt I've ever spoken

so much in my life!

Did you tell Bijli?

No?

Gulab's date is fixed!

We found him a bride!

Wedding is on the 9th.

Her blouse was so tight...

No wonder men fall at her feet!

I think Bijli makes up these stories.

I have never heard of a man

talking during the act!

Hello?

Gulabo, why are you panting?

I am out of breath.

What are you up to?

I'm walking. What's it to you?

I think I'm falling in love.

Do you feel the flutter too?

No!

Will you be my Valentine?

What?

Valentine?

Valentine day?

It's a day for naughty love.

I've got to go!

That was Shahrukh Khan.

First call was by mistake.

Now he calls all the time.

Says naughty things.

He calls me Gulabo... His rose.

He's outrageous!

You're blushing.

Maybe I should tell him the truth?

About the real me?

ls this all wrong Lajjo?

Why wrong?

Ma, remember when I'd spilled water...

And you slipped on it?

I'd burst out laughing.

I was so young!

What a beating you gave me that day.

Your son Shankar;

had to save me.

But who could save me from Shankar?

When he started staying

out all night...

You said...

All will be well.

When he kept that mistress...

Again you said... "All will be well."

When Shankar died in that accident...

First you cursed me...

And then said... "All will be well."

But nothing changed.

Years passed... Gulab grew up.

And l...

Once Gulab's bride gets here...

It'll be my turn to lie on a cot...

and all will be well.

What you doing Lajjo?

Going for a competition?

No... I have a delivery tomorrow.

What?

A delivery.

What do you know about "delivery"?

You, with your infertile womb.

Booze has drowned

all the love inside you.

No... no... no... no!

What did you say b*tch?

If I hadn't spent so much on you.

I'd have trashed you long ago!

I'm not your whore!

What?

I'm not your whore.

Barren b*tch!

Don't! Please!

The donkey chose water over booze.

So the moral of the story is...

A man who doesn't booze is an Ass!

Right Gulab?

Man up! Have a drink!

When is your date with God oldie?

Marry me? What say?

He's so sweet in public,

such a monster at home.

Last night he was so drunk.

He said to me...

No matter how deep I drill...

You remain a barren desert.

Why is she crying so much?

Has she found out...

About your tiny willy?

Rani need to show you something.

What's this?

Her hair was infested with lice.

There was no other way.

I asked her father to postpone...

But he refused.

Said that the money's been taken.

ls this what I paid for?

I'll lose face in my community!

For the sake of both our families,

please take her.

I apologize on behalf

of my entire family.

Please take her Rani... Please.

Our precious daughter.

Beautiful as a flower.

She doesn't know

how much she is loved.

Goodbye darling,

you leave us with a heavy heart!

The animals and birds will miss you...

Trees and plants will go dry...

You are the center of our Universe...

Our precious daughter.

Beautiful as a flower.

Our precious daughter.

God Himself watches over you.

Because you are God's favorite too.

Namaste.

Congratulations Gulab!

A small gift for the bride.

When you finish reading these.

I'll give you more.

I live just two lanes away.

Your bride will be smarter

than you Gulab!

She'll make more money too!

Put out the candles,

the Earthquake cometh!

It's the Queen of the Dance Company!

She has some guts coming here!

She is Ran/is friend from childhood.

Rani!

Congratulations!

Many many congratulations!!

Oh I know...

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