Paris - When It Sizzles Page #5

nibbling on her neck?

Don't be frightened, my dear.

lt's only a bat.

The creatures of the night

are my friends.

l know why you nibble on my neck.

You're some kind of werewolf.

No, no, my dear.

l'm a vampire.

The inner reaches of these caverns

make an ideal setting

for my laboratory.

And yet,

there's something about his eyes.

Even though they are

rather bloodshot.

A vampire's life must be

a terribly lonely one. But no!

Not for nothing has she made

a comprehensive study of depravity.

Some girls may let vampires

nibble their necks on the first date,

but not our Gabby. She tears free

from his evil grasp

and the chase is on!

- Vous tes Peau-Rouge?

- Oui.

Moi aussi.

He's caught her, he's caught her.

No, Gabby, you can't give in now.

You fought him in the cave,

on the beaches,

you fought him on the plains.

That's it-planes!

Her face registers terror.

Mr Benson, Mr Benson,

she's killed him!

There, there, Miss Simpson,

it's perfectly alright.

ln your defence, it's been a hard day

and you've had a good deal to drink.

Anyway, he had it coming to him.

Plying her with all that booze,

making her drunk.

Which incidentally she is not.

Not in the least.

- Of course not.

- Not only did she kill him,

but when l think of

that poor horse...

The way she beat him

with that terrible whip.

Anyway, l think

she had it coming to her.

That was what?

Whatever he planned to do to her.

Why did she make such a fuss, anyway?

lt's not as if he was

some kind of vampire or something.

Actually, l think

he's very attractive.

Miss Simpson, l think you should

go to bed and get some sleep.

You do? What about you?

l wish to think. Now, Miss Simpson,

if you'll please go in there

and lie down.

Maybe for a few hours.

But if you do get an idea,

and l know you will,

you must promise to wake me.

Sure.

Promise?

l promise.

Alright, then.

Good night, Mr Benson.

Good night, Miss Simpson.

Good night.

Good night.

Operator, l'd like to place a call

to Mr Alexander Meyerheim in Cannes.

lt's one-thirty. You can probably

find him at the casino.

Erm... Ah, Benson.

Mr Richard Benson calling.

Person to person.

l'll hold on.

Dear Alex.

Dear Alex,...

..it is my unpleasant duty

to inform you

that The Girl Who Stole the Eiffel

Tower will not take place.

You see, my friend,

that there's no point for you

to come to Paris on Sunday

to read the script,

because there is no script.

As l see it, there will be no...

Yeah? Comment?

Try him at the chemin de fer game.

The big table.

Excuse me,

l forgot to cover Richelieu.

Good night.

Oh, Mr Benson. Please don't think

l'm quitting on you.

l'll be right here when you need me.

Good night.

Operator.

Cancel that call.

Unfortunately, Miss Simpson,...

..we are not writing a musical.

Mr Benson, you did all these pages

last night? All by yourself?

While some of us

were snug in our bed,

other more productive citizens

were up

toiling in the vineyards

of beautiful letters.

l'm only sorry that you,

as a fledgling writer,

weren't present to observe

with your own big magic eyes

a seasoned professional in action.

l was, in those few short hours,

the great DiMaggio, going back,

back, back for the high-fly ball.

l was Manolete in Seville,

going over the horns for the kill.

And missing, fortunately, because

l can't stand the sight of blood.

l was Pablo Picasso, deftly...

..adding the third eye

to a portrait of his lady love.

l was...

How do you spell ingenuous?

l-N-G-E-N-U-O-U-S.

l was afraid of that.

ln addition to the nine and a half

yards of pages l wrote,

l discovered some errors

in the earlier pages,

which l corrected, dealing basically

with the character of Rick.

l found l had,

in a moment of insecurity,...

..underestimated

the brilliance of the man.

No simple safe-cracker he,

but a master criminal,

wanted by the police

of three continents.

The dazzling scheme

has been worked out,

step by painful step,

for over a year by Rick himself.

The two other characters

arejust employees.

That brings us back

to where we were.

Rick and Gabby have demolished

a glorious lunch

and it's almost four o'clock,

time for the car to arrive.

Page 14.

Sit down and brace yourself.

Here comes the switch on the switch.

ln a minute and a half,

you and the audience will gasp

as you realise you've been fooled.

Things are not as they seem.

Not at all. ln fact,

- the whole situation is reversed.

- Mr Benson...

Miss Simpson, please don't sit there

gazing at me in mute adoration.

Read the script.

Rick and Gabby are sitting with

brandy glasses before them.

Her big magic eyes are shiny...

l can't imagine

a more marvellous lunch.

- l don't know how to thank you.

- Please.

And now l'll tell you the plans

for the rest of the afternoon.

The rest of the afternoon?

Exactly. My car and chauffeur

will pick us up here at four,

for a tour of Paris to see how

the celebration's progressing,

a brief stop at my office

to pick something up,

and then on to a party in my honour

at the restaurant

in the Eiffel Tower.

- Pardon. You are Monsieur Rick?

- Oui.

Your chauffeur is here, sir.

He has an important message for you.

Merci.

Pardon me for a moment.

lt's almost four o'clock.

l know.

What's the matter? Are you mad?

Bringing a girl on ajob like this!

Our arrangement, Franois. You do

the driving and l do the planning.

But the plan does not

call for the presence of a girl.

The ability to improvise brilliantly

in a moment of crisis

is one of the reasons

l am a highly paid, successful thief.

lf you will look to the left,

just behind you,

as casually as possible,

you will see, stupidly trying to

hide behind yesterday's newspaper,

our old friend lnspector Gillette.

What is he doing in Paris?

Do you think

he suspects something?

Of course not.

lf so, l'm one step ahead.

Why do you think

l picked up the girl?

Because she has big magic eyes.

That, too,

but actually l picked her up

to throw our inspector friend

off the scent.

Never in his wildest imagination

would he think

that the highly paid

and successful Rick

would be so foolish

as to take a girl along on ajob.

Therefore, that's exactly what l'm

going to do. She's a perfect cover.

Meet you at the car in one minute.

Shall we?

My dear Gillette,

our paths cross again.

My dear Rick,

what an extraordinary coincidence.

Monsieur Gillette is in a curious

way a business associate of mine.

Enchanted. Any friend of Rick's

is a friend of mine.

Please, enjoy your lunch. And l beg

of you, watch the calories.

This, my friend,

is a moment to savour.

For three years l've waited,

and at last my brilliant,

highly paid professional friend

has risen to the bait.

What he doesn't know, poor Rick,

is that the girl is ours.

You're sure he suspected nothing?

lnspector, my imitation

of a method actor was impeccable.

l played the role internally,

of course,

indicating all the basic elements

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes