Pat and Mike

Up off the ground.

That's right, pass it high.

Up off the ground.

Pass it high.

Sal. Take over, will you?

- Hey, I was just looking for you up there.

- I came out by the front.

- Well, you're pretty daring.

- It's perfectly legal.

I just looked it up. A man's allowed

to kiss any girl he's engaged to.

Hey, you're not gonna wear

those pants?

Not pants. They're slacks.

Watch your language.

Look. We got

a pretty delicate deal here.

This game isn't so much pleasure,

more business.

And I don't want anything

to go flooey.

They're pretty conservative people,

these Bemingers, and...

- It's too late now. Come on, let's go.

- No, no, wait. Wait.

Go.

Oh, mister, the things

I've done for this school.

This time it's worth it, honey.

Beminger's good and ripe.

For what?

Biggest donation

I've gotten all year.

- Hooray for our side.

- Your side especially.

He's really serious

about building us that new gym.

How fascinating.

Now, all we've got to do

is the right thing and say it.

- At your service.

- Well, number one, it's he and you...

...against Mrs. Beminger and me.

- Yes, sir.

I could make it look pretty good

and lose, but Mrs. Beminger's a whiz.

- Do or die, that's me.

- Just see that you win.

- Yes, sir. Do my best.

- Let's not blow this.

Yeah, yeah, do my best.

Just watch me.

I'll tell you what to do...

...and then let's hope

you can do it.

- Thanks.

- What?

Nothing.

Well, give us a kiss, honey.

I'm nervous as a cat.

- Good afternoon. Good afternoon.

- Hi.

- How are you, Mrs. Beminger?

- Quite well, thank you.

- Hi.

- Come on, Collier, let's go.

- Eighteen holes is a lot of holes.

- All set.

Say, that's quite a swing

you've got there, Mrs. B.

What do you say, Ma?

I say:

- After you, dear. Okay, Mr. B?

- Yeah.

- Go ahead.

- Got a tee, Coll?

Yeah.

Now, don't let me down, now.

Let's see the good one.

Oh, too bad.

You've got to tense

the gluteal muscles, dear.

If you don't tense

the gluteal muscles...

...why, your whole alignment is off.

- You want me to get you a soapbox?

- Play your cards.

- What?

Tee off.

Thank you, lady.

Thank you very much.

I wouldn't have known what to do

if you hadn't told me.

Thank you.

Oh, tense the gluteal muscles,

did you say?

Yes. That's right.

Tense.

Well, I see what you mean.

Makes all the difference.

- It does.

- All.

Gotta tense. Tense.

Well, for heaven's sake,

I know, don't I?

Beauty.

Take your time, partner.

It's all up to you now, don't forget.

Quiet, do you mind?

My dear, if you would

lean your weight...

...on your right foot, the way I do...

Take into consideration

an endowment...

...that has some permanent value.

What is the concrete thing

that you can point to...

...in the years to come with...?

So all I can say is to...

...consider that every time

you look up at that building...

...you're in a position

to point with pride and...

- that you'll find it is

to develop your reflexes.

Yes, you've got to learn to relax.

To give in.

We can settle this some other time.

- Forty, 60. Come here, boy.

- Yes, sir.

- Split that up.

- How about a nice, tall, cool one?

I'll take mine in the locker room.

See you in 20 minutes

in the lounge.

The one thing he can't stand,

Mr. B, is to lose.

With him, it's not the principle

of the thing, it's the money.

You know, dear, where you go bad

is your coordination.

Now, that is your story, coordination.

This and this and this should

all be parts of the same thing.

If you could possibly lift the needle...

...from that long-playing phonograph

you keep in your face.

Why, the very...

Watch this. Will you excuse me?

You know what you can do

with your gluteal muscle?

Give it away for Christmas.

Say, wait, wait here.

Wait a moment.

Sit down, Mrs. Pemberton,

sit down.

- What will you have to drink?

- Plenty.

- Lemonade?

- Why not?

- Right.

- Strong. Plenty of lemon.

- What do I care?

- All right. Plenty of lemon.

And another thing.

Don't call me Mrs. Pemberton.

- No?

- Pat, that's me.

Okay. I'll call you Pat.

- I want everybody to from now on.

- Why?

Friendless. That's how I feel.

I feel the whole world's against me,

and vice versa.

Did you ever feel that way, Charlie?

Every time I miss a shot.

There you are.

You've been golfing here

for quite a while.

- Quite.

- Then how come I never saw it?

Saw what?

- You're great.

- I must be.

- A natural.

- Fairly seldom.

- What's your handicap?

- My fella.

I mean on the board.

- Six.

- You ought to be two.

- I wish I were a two.

- You know what I'd like to do with you?

Enter you in the Women's National.

- Oh, no.

- Listen, if I don't know a champ...

...when I see one, what good am I?

- Oh, I haven't the time.

- We'll make it.

We'll coach hard the next 15 days.

We'll get out there, you qualify,

you play and you win.

No. I can't play golf.

I can't do anything...

- But what about out there? I saw...

- That was because I got mad. Mad.

- Well, we'll keep you mad.

- No, you see...

...I only play with Collier Weld.

And I can't do anything

when he's watching me.

- Listen, a chance like this...

- Give me Mrs. Beminger's money.

Do you mind, Charlie?

- I thought you wanted to help me.

- I tried to.

To what?

Jam me up with the biggest donor...

- I didn't mean to.

- Pat, I'm trying understand.

How could you,

when I don't myself.

- You don't what?

- Anything. Understand.

Why it is I fall to pieces

whenever you give me that look.

- What look?

- This look.

- That's me?

- Sure.

Makes me feel you don't believe in me

and never will.

- You're just overwrought.

- And you're just overpowering.

- Now, let's not squabble, huh?

- Okay!

I'll see if I can square things

with the Bemingers.

Why try?

Face it, Pat. He's a power.

He's out there screaming

about firing you.

- He couldn't.

- Why not?

- Because I've quit.

- When?

- Right now.

- Oh, no.

- Well, this is no place to talk now.

- Okay, later.

Don't get frazzled, dear.

Don't get frazzled.

Everybody frazzles everybody...

...then they turn around

and tell them, "Don't be. "

What?

That true, Charlie?

What's true?

What you think I could do?

Scout's honor.

- All right, then.

- Great.

I'll show her.

- Show who?

- Show myself, that's who.

That's right. Because you know how

to not get yourself frazzled?

Get unfrazzled.

Nearly all of the 60 girls

who have entered...

...have turned in their scorecards.

Let me repeat, ladies and gentlemen,

only the 16 best will be eligible...

...to compete for match play,

which begins tomorrow.

Your attention, ladies and gentlemen,

we have another score.

Mrs. Patricia Pemberton

has just qualified with a sparkling 77.

That, ladies and gentlemen,

leaves one contender still to be...

Yes, here she comes now,

the mighty Babe.

We'll have her score for you

in just a second. Here it is now.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the top score of the day.

Mrs. Babe Didrikson Zaharias

has just qualified...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes