Paterson Page #4

Jersey also.

Asbury Park.

Uh... 1895 maybe?

You knew that.

Well hell yeah man.

I know a lotta sh*t about a lotta sh*t.

That Lou Costello.

Who's on first?

Uh... Who's on first.

What's on second.

I don't know who's on third.

Wait. Who's on first?

Who's on first.

Who's on first.

I'll tell ya who's on first.

And I'll tell ya what's on second too,

but you ain't gonna wanna know.

I can explain sweetheart.

No, let me explain.

That is my cookie jar money.

That is money I've been savin' up

so I could get my hair fixed...

That is MY money. MINE!

I promise. I will replace it!

I will replace it after this

weekend's chess tournament.

Chess tournament?

CHESS TOURNAMENT!?!?!?!

Doc, you gonna need a chess 'tourniquet'

if you don't put that damn money back.

You okay Doc?

Paterson... you still don't

got a cell phone?

Uh... no, no.

I don't want one.

It would be a leash.

What about the better half?

She got one?

She's got one, yeah. And a

laptop, and an iPad.

She doesn't want you to get one?

No.

No, she's okay about it.

She understands me really well.

You're a lucky guy.

The different shape can be

folded into something greater.

I'll tell you somethin' greater.

Hey Doc, what does Abbott and Costello

have to do with Romeo and Juliet?

Please stay, please!

Everett!

I would rather drop dead.

Is there anything we can do?

Nah.

I always say... I'll try to change things

with ya, make 'em even worse.

Good morning!

Mornin'.

You're up late honey.

Your silent magic watch didn't wake you up.

Yeah I was a little bit late today.

Well... some days something inside

just doesn't wanna get up.

Ever feel like that?

Today.

Oh my.

I have so much to do.

I know it's silly but I'm so excited

about the new farmer's market.

Becuase if my cupcakes are a big sensation...

then I might be on my way

to a very succesful business.

That would be... amazing honey.

And you know what else?

My guitar should arrive today.

My Harlequin guitar direct from Esteban.

Is Esteban going to deliver it personally?

Who knows?

Mmm. Smells good.

I like your technique.

Morning Donny.

You okay?

No, not really.

You don't even wanna know.

What's going on?

I think it's probably best if we stand

as far away from the bus as we can.

It's not going to catch on

fire or anything, is it?

It could explode into a fireball.

Well, no mam.

It's just an electrical problem.

What's gonna happen to us now?

Are we standed here?

No, no, no. Another bus will

come get us shortly.

Dear God!

Why is he going back in the bus

if he just told everyone to get out.

I think we'll just get 'em off

over there if you don't mind.

Thank you very much.

Okay people, let's join the rest

of the passengers if we could.

- Did we run out of gas?

- We got plenty of gas...

this is just an electrical problem.

Sabotage probably.

Okay... let's come over here.

Another bus will come

get us in a minute.

Okay everyone, I apologize again

for this inconvenience.

I think it's best if we wait here

for a few minutes and uh...

I'll call now for a replacement bus.

Don't you have a smart phone?

Uh, no, I don't. I don't.

Not with me.

Would you like to use my phone

Mr. Bus Driver?

Oh, if you don't mind, thank you.

So what's gonna happen to this bus?

Uh, well, a big truck is going to come

and tow it back to the depot.

- Awesome!

- Thank you very much.

K, I'll just be over here.

I apologize again.

Hi, this is Paterson, bus #23,

I have a situation.

Pluck all those strings together.

There ya have your first chord.

Surprise!

Just sit down darling for a

second and listen to this.

Okay.

I've been workin' on the railroad...

All the live long day.

I've been workin' on the railroad...

Just to pass the time awaaaaaaaay.

But it's pretty amazing right

for someone who never played before.

It's very amazing.

You just learned all that today?

Yeah, from these instructional DVDs.

And I've been baking all day too.

Well I'm very impressed.

Isn't she beautiful?

Yeah, you two were made for each other.

What's it called again, The Jester?

- No, The Harlequin.

- Harlequin.

And thank you my love.

You look a little drained.

You're home a little late.

Was your day okay?

Well it was until the bus broke down.

The bus broke down?

Was it dangerous?

No, it just sputtered out.

It was an electrical problem.

Electrical problem?

Could it have exploded into a... fireball?

No, no.

It's just an old bus.

Well I think they should get their best driver

who is also a great poet a brand new bus...

it's the least they could do.

City of Paterson?

Not likely.

Well honey I'm just glad you're okay.

Maybe you should get a smart phone.

Just for emergencies.

You know I don't want one.

The world worked fine before they even existed.

I know darling but sometimes

they make things easier.

Honey since the kitchen's a mess with all

my baking going on, couldn't we order out?

Like, a pizza?

Pizza's fine with me.

Great.

And after dinner, while you

and Marvin go out...

I could practice just a little more.

I wanna learn the rest of that song, at least.

Harlequin.

So what do they do, what, send a mechanic on

site, or tow the motherf***er, or what?

Yah, yah. They come and tow it back to the depot,

and they send a replacement bus for the passengers.

Man that coulda been a lot worse.

Damn thing could have exploded

into a f***ing fireball!

Hey, Doc, if you're not doing

anything tomorrow...

they're having the new outdoors

farmer's market again.

And I know for a fact...

there's going to be some fantastic

cupcakes for sale in the bakery booth.

Oh, tomorrow's, uh... Saturday.

I got that big chess tournament

going on over there in Camden?

Right, right.

Okay. Well, good luck.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey fellas.

- Hey Marie.

- Hey Shorty!

How you and uh...

Romeo doin'?

Please, Everett.

And we're not doing.

If anything he's acting worse.

I think the key word is acting.

Well, how well do you

really know him?

We've known each other

since we were kids...

and I really do care about him,

it's just...

this whole girlfriend thing

was a big mistake.

Obviously.

It's cool.

He just needs to act out.

He's always been that way.

He needs some kind of drama...

and then he gets over it.

Well he's not gonna do

anything crazy, is he?

If you ask me, everything

he does is crazy.

Speak of the devil.

Baby, I need to talk to

you for a minute.

Everett, why can't you

just forget about me.

Because I'm in love with you.

Well you can't have me.

Okay.

Okay...

Okay... then... NOBODY MOVE!

If I can't have you then I

guess nobody can.

Everett...

stop acting crazy.

Crazy?

You wanna see crazy?

I'll show ya'll crazy!

Smooth move Paterson.

Ya damn chucklehead.

Comin' in here, clearin'

out my place...

I outta kick your black ass.

Without love...

What reason is there for anything?

Thanks Paterson.

That was very heroic.

Yeah, wow, okay, I dunno...

If it wasn't for you...

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