Patrik Age 1,5

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PATRIK, AGE 1.5

Based on a play by

MICHAEL DRUKER:

Hello!

- I'm Jan.

- Gran Skoogh.

I'm Lennart Ljung,

the chairman of the association.

This is my wife, Louise.

We're at number 25.

Would you like something to drink?

- Monica?

- Welcome to the neighbourhood.

- Monica's my wife.

- And where's the little woman?

- Won't your wife be coming?

Yes... Well...

Here he comes.

This is Sven, my husband.

- Hi, I'm Sven.

- Welcome to the neighbourhood.

I'm Urban Adler. I'm the

Neighbourhood Watch representative.

- Are you familiar with the Watch?

- Not really...

Well, we all pitch in to prevent

break-ins and vandalism...

- Sounds good.

- It is. Would you like some decals?

- Sorry, we were expecting a family.

- That's right. Sven has a daughter.

She's almost 16, and we're hoping

she'll spend more time with us.

You can never tell, at that age.

- And...

- We're adopting a child.

We just got cleared by the authorities,

so we're waiting for our child.

But that's... absolutely wonderful!

Soon it will be our turn...

I can hardly believe it.

I can't believe I'm doing it.

I hated it the first time around.

- I'm only joking.

- You'd better be!

- I thought we'd thrown that crap out.

- They're genuine Lindbergs.

- Stig Lindberg.

- They're still ugly.

We agreed to get rid

of unnecessary stuff.

Stop it!

Welcome.

- Good to see you.

- Back off!

- We're see to see Dad's house.

- We have, so let's leave already.

Hello...

Nice. Cool outfit.

- Does this door lead out?

- Yes, into the garden.

- It's pretty big.

- Christ, you'll need a gardener.

I'm glad you came along.

I hope you'll spend time here

once the baby's arrived.

- Aren't you excited?

- Embarrassing is what it is!

- We were going to go for pine...

- I must say I'm surprised.

I never expected you to try

the home and a family thing again.

Have you shown her the nursery?

We'll have to put up new wallpaper.

We're thinking of a pastel shade,

yellow or turquoise.

- And one of those borders...

- Friezes.

The crib goes there,

and a rocking horse...

And a mobile over the crib.

And a music box.

And a "baby watch",

to monitor our child at all times.

I can see you...

But actually, all you need is love.

- Let go of me!

- Please wait here.

We've sent on our approval

to the organization,

but I would to update you

on the present circumstances.

Unfortunately, no countries

are willing to provide a child.

- What?

- We've been cleared.

At present, no countries are willing

to accept homosexual parents.

There's nothing I can do about that.

If there aren't any foreign children,

what about Swedish children?

A Swedish kid would be fine...

I mean, I don't mind

if the kid's Swedish or Danish...

Well, maybe not Danish...

I'll see what I can do,

but don't expect too much.

Just look at this!

What will people think if we can't

even take care of our garden?!

Bye, Daddy!

- Hey... Want a ride?

- That's all right, it's not far.

How do you feel?

Nervous?

Oh... No, not particularly.

- You'll do just fine.

- I know...

I hope you'll enjoy

working here, Doctor.

- Is this your first position?

- Yes...

It will be nice to have

a man around the place again.

- It's been a while since Doctor...

-...Svinhufvud ("Swine head").

The name suited him.

I understand that the position

has been vacant for some time.

And this is Nurse Irja,

our District Nurse.

She could certainly

use a little relief.

Yes?

Thank you.

Your first patient

is scheduled for 9:15.

Everything seems to be fine.

Oh, no murmurs or anything?

- Nothing abnormal?

- Not at all.

Listen, you see...

I have to go a lot.

At night and at work...

I have to leave meetings

and rush to the bathroom. Well...

That can be due to several reasons,

but I'll check your prostate grand.

- Or you can take a blood test.

- Thank you.

- Maybe we should get a dog.

- A dog?

I mean, we have Isabell,

and you like dogs...

It's not that we won't have a child,

we'll just have a dog as well.

- Hello!

- Hi...

- Everything fine?

- Sure...

- Just let me know if you need a hand.

- We're fine.

- Excuse me, your mailbox is...

- Sorry about that.

Thanks.

Sven!

A child... A child of our own!

- "Patrik, 1.5..."

- Don't you say one and a half?

"Patrik, 1.5 needs a new family."

"He has a troubled background and

needs love and a stable environment."

"lf you choose to accept, he can

come at the end of the month."

Thank you...

We'll just have

to hold down the fort.

Don't count on getting much sleep.

- Right back at you, "Daddy".

- Congratulations!

- Are you all right?

- Sure, I feel great.

Bye.

Those were Isabell's.

I figured that pink wouldn't

bother you.

How's Isabell?

She'll get used to it. I did.

Maybe having a brother

will make it easier.

Yeah... Maybe.

- When will he be arriving?

- Tonight, or tomorrow...

They couldn't give us a definite time.

If you drop by on Sunday,

you can meet him.

Why not?

How are things otherwise?

You know:
exercise,

no smoking, no drinking...

- You're not my wife anymore.

- No. Thank God!

I've got

to catch the 4 o'clock bus.

I can give you a ride, if you like.

All right. Sure...

Oh... Thanks.

- You're new, aren't you?

- What do you mean?

I thought I recognised you at first,

but I guess you're new.

Would you like some coffee?

Are you working a new district,

or is this just a summer job?

Have a seat.

I could have sworn

I've seen you before...

- What's your name?

- Patrik.

- Really? That's his name, too.

- Whose name?

Our son.

- How old is he?

- One and a half.

I hope you don't

expect us to share a room.

- Share a room?

- You knew I was coming, didn't you?

- Social Services must have called.

- Social Services?

Exactly.

Wait a minute...

Has Social Services called yet?

They'd better call, so...

I thought it was the postman,

but he says Social Services sent him.

His name is Patrik.

There must be some mistake here.

- They sent us the wrong Patrik.

- The wrong Patrik? That's weird.

- Where's our Patrik?

- He could be anywhere.

- On Fridays they close at 4.

- It's 3:
50 now.

Get the boy and we'll go.

Are you brothers?

- Do we look like brothers?

- How the hell would I know?

You live together, so I figured

you might be half-brothers.

Half-brothers?

Sven is my husband.

- You're a couple?

- We're married.

- I'm not living with homos!

- Let's sort this out.

There must have been

some kind of a mix-up.

I can't see...

You'll have to come back on Tuesday.

- We're closed this Monday.

- We didn't screw this up, you did!

Look,

I don't enjoy being a bad-ass, but...

- Let go of that mouse!

- No!

- That's classified information!

- Back off!

Bye.

Patrik Eriksson, 15 years old.

Mother:
deceased.

Father:
unknown. Patrik has

committed numerous crimes:

Theft, concealing a knife on his

person, aggravated assault...

I wonder how our Patrik is doing.

I mean, what kind of a household

did he come to?

They must be pretty puzzled as well.

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