Peeples Page #5

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Okay. You know what? You're a

therapist, wade. Talk to her.

I just... I'm not

technically a therapist.

I teach children about not

peeing on their parents'...

Wade, talk to her.

When you are having

sex with someone,

is that person

of the same sex?

Yes.

Ding.

When was the last time you met

a person of the opposite sex

and wanted to have

sex with that person?

Let me think.

Maybe their cologne

or whatever turns you on.

Their nice

manly chest muscles.

Penis.

Never. Get to the part where

you tell her she's gay, wade.

Sexuality can be

very ambiguous.

Many times,

no one category can...

Dude, just tell her.

You're gay.

Ding.

Oh! Thank God. I was worried.

Oh.

What are you wearing?

My Lincoln prep uniform.

Like it?

I found it in the attic.

It's cute.

(Chuckles)

You could pretend

to be more excited.

(Sighs)

I'm sorry, baby.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Just went for a walk.

I saw some things.

Then I was over at the house

talking to Meg and Gloria

about their "situation. "

What situation?

You know.

You never thought

they were...

Hmm hmm hmm.

Oh, no, no.

(Chuckles) No.

Honey, they've been besties

since rugby at Smith.

Rugby?

Yeah.

Uh...

Honey, hey.

Whoa. Okay. Honey, listen.

I know that we kind of got started

in a rough way today, right?

Mmm-hmm.

But I want to make an effort

to not go to bed angry

because you said that we're

never allowed to go to bed angry.

I'm not angry.

No, but maybe you should be

because I've been a really bad girl.

(Giggles)

Grace.

What? No.

What is it?

Don't I always tell

you how sexy you are?

All the time.

So why didn't you

tell me about those?

About my breasts?

What about them?

I know about them. I know

there was some work done.

You just mentioned nothing all

them nights I was... (Sputtering)

Honey, you thought

that these were...

That is incredible.

I've got to tell skip.

Why you gotta bring

grandpa into this?

That was how I met him,

because he was my surgeon.

Oh...

Okay.

You know what,

it's been a long day.

We're lying to your family

about living together.

We're not lying. Exactly.

We are. And you know what?

They're lying to each other.

What are you

talking about?

I'm saying I'm

the man in your life.

All right,

we shouldn't have to lie

to your family

about living together.

I ain't afraid

of judge peeples.

You are right.

And that is why I wanted

to get dressed up for you.

And I want to say that

I'm really glad you came.

And it's really perfect

having you here with my family.

Really?

Yeah.

I was wrong.

That means I've

been a bad girl.

That you should punish me,

principal Walker.

Mmm-hmm.

(Growls)

Yeah. I have been

a bad girl. Yeah.

You have been a real bad girl.

You earned yourself a big,

fat

d!

(Squeals)

(Giggling)

Who's your daddy, girl?

Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy?

You are!

Who's your daddy?

You are!

Wade!

You're crazy!

Bad girl!

Not my baby, grace.

Gracie, Gracie, Gracie...

Mmm.

Have a good night?

Good. Yeah, it was good. You?

Mine was great.

I played at the lusty sea hag,

as I usually do, for 45 minutes,

then I came right home,

and I was out like a light.

Hmm.

Help yourself

to breakfast.

Simon:
Drawers on the floor, take one.

(Rock music playing)

# I know, you know

oh girl, I know you wanna #

exciting news! The Montauk

Indians are gonna use my sage,

which is quite legendary,

for the sweat

lodge ceremony tonight.

That's great news!

The sweat lodge?

It's a ceremony

the Montauks offer

every year to

contribute to Moby dick day.

A time for men to test their

manhood. A battle of the wills.

Daphne:
Virgil

goes every year.

Can't nobody sweat

longer than my Virgil.

You're my champion.

I do always win.

(Chuckles)

Manhood rites of

passage are important.

Especially in

the post-industrial age

when power

dynamics can be confusing.

That's just a little something

I picked up in sociology class.

Very true, babe.

All right, now.

Right. Like

sometimes it's hard to tell

who's the teacher

and who's the student.

Right,

grace Lorraine peeples?

Do you know of somewhere

I could check my e-mail?

Yeah, Simon's room, first

door on the right upstairs.

Got to check my e-mail.

Yeah, sure.

Tell him we leave

for Nana's in 10.

Okay.

You want me to

smell your mushroom?

Mmm-hmm.

Your mushroom smells good!

Good!

(Hip hop music playing)

# Girl, you're all talk

ever since we've been datin'

# wastin' my time,

doin' nothin' but waitin'

# you better check the real

talk when we're conversatin'

# and read my lips,

no more anticipatin'

# yeah,

what's a brother gotta do?

# Yeah,

what's a brother gotta do?

# What's a brother gotta

what's a brother gotta do?

# I know, you know

girl, I know you wanna

# got it goin' on from

your bottom to your top

# and when I get with it

i don't wanna talk shop

# so make it real clear

let me fly it non-stop

# I like the way you jiggle

in your tight tank top

# yeah,

what's a brother gotta do?

# Girl,

what's a brother gotta do?

# What's a brother gotta

what's a brother gotta do?

# I know, you know

girl, I know you wanna... #

(sighs)

Huh.

Wow.

Hey, Gracie.

(Imitating Virgil) Guilty!

Daphne:

# come on

(funky music playing)

# Hey,

baby, wanna jump in my game?

# Odds are you'll

never be the same

# when I lay down

what you been missin'

# no man livin' got

a hope of resistin'

# don't need your soul

don't want your mind

# just make me feel it

when you bump and grind

# come on, come on, come on

# I know you're ready for some

# oh, yeah, baby

# I'm talkin' 'bout ooh ahh

# I'm gonna give you some

ooh ahh

# all over your body

tonight's the night

(music stops)

Wade:
# you're gonna feel my heat, boy

# I got the moves to knock

you off your feet, boy #

enjoying yourself?

(Screams)

Oh, my God! You scared me.

I couldn't resist.

You like wearing

women's clothes?

No, no, no. I...

Mr. peeples...

Judge.

Judge peeples.

I'm sorry. I feel like we've

gotten off on the wrong foot here.

No offense, all right.

Didn't mean to offend anything

coming to your home.

I just...

The real reason I came here...

(Techno ringtone playing)

Excuse me.

Hello?

What?

Mmm-mmm. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, hey, hey!

Bro! What's up?

Bro, good to see you. Excuse

me! This is a round trip!

Stop, hey, hey, no.

You've gotta go.

Look,

last time I talked to you,

you were all

stressed out, okay.

I came here to make sure everything

got done. Did you propose?

Not yet.

But you need to leave.

What is wrong with you? Thank

God I'm here to help you.

When have you

ever helped me?

Third grade. You wanted to

make out with Monique Johnson.

I kissed you to share my

technique. That's love.

All right. You need to

leave. Okay? If you could...

Hold on, hold on.

Damn! Look at that.

Oh, sh*t! It is on!

These scrubs are like catnip.

She's waving at me, idiot.

That's grace's sister.

Are you serious?

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