Penguins of Madagascar Page #2

- Dave!

Sorry.

Wait. Wait. I... I live this way.

- Go ahead, Dan, continue.

- You seriously don't remember me?

Dave! Dave! Right! Oh, yeah, long time.

How's the wife?

I've never been married.

You may not remember me,

but I could never forget you.

Let's shake up some old memories.

New York City.

The Central Park Zoo.

Life was good.

Roomy tank, great location,

monkey-house views.

And, of course...

my adoring legion of fans.

- Cool.

- Dave!

The octopus of a thousand tricks.

- Awesome!

- I was the total package.

- Wow.

- Hey, kids!

You got to see this. Get up here quick!

- Come on, kids. Come on...

- And then you arrived.

Oh, they're so adorable!

Just smile and wave, boys.

Smile and wave.

- And took everything from me.

- They're so cute!

- They're so adorable.

- Have you ever seen anything cuter?

Four adorable baby penguins.

With you around, no one wanted

an old octopus anymore.

"Out you go, Dave."

And so it went, over and over,

- at zoo after aquarium.

- Dad, look!

I can't see the penguins, man!

Adorable penguins stole the show.

While I was shunned.

Forgotten.

Unwanted.

Alone.

That sounds awful.

Oh, it was.

I came to realize some creatures

are born to get all the love.

The rest of us get nothing!

The only thing that has kept me going

all these years is my

burning thirst for revenge!

And my precious souvenir

snow globe collection.

What is wrong with you?!

Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl, you can't

blame us for what happened to you.

Can. That's how this whole

revenge thing works.

And with this, I finally have

the power to destroy you.

Crikey!

Nicolas, cage them.

I've got some bad news for you, Dennis.

You messed with the wrong birds.

Because we are an elite unit,

the best of the best.

Cream of the corn on a platinum cob.

And we're gonna take your deadly green goop

and sashay right out the exit hatch.

And just how are you going to do that?

Deploy secret weapon.

- The cheese, it burns!

- Roll out.

After them!

All right, boys, it's just like Cuba.

Taxi!

How about some music? Something chase-y.

Here they come.

- Let's move.

- Stroke! Stroke! Stroke again!

Stroke some more! Stroke!

Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

Sorry! Stroke! Stroke!

- We got baddies, six o'clock.

- Kowalski, battle formation.

So you squeegees want to do

the gondola mambo? Let's dance.

Mother-of-pearl, that stings!

I've lost visual.

- Kowalski, be my eyes.

- Left.

Right, right! Up!

Duck.

- I think I got 'em.

- They are down, sir.

Excelente.

- Skipper!

- They're back up.

- And we are running out of canal.

- Parker Posey! Go all-terrain.

Will you marry me?

We've lost engine one!

- And two and three.

- Four!

- Switch to emergency power.

- Aye, aye, Skipper.

We've got melons! Dead ahead!

I can see. Rico, the glowy thing!

Venetian blinded again!

- We've been boarded.

- Initiate self-destruct sequence.

- Nice.

- Whee!

Frankly, I'm surprised we had

a self-destruct sequence.

All right, boys, battle stance.

We're in battle stance, sir.

Okay, good. Now we spring our trap.

I'm not sure they're the ones

that are trapped, sir.

Kowalski, remember our little talk

about true but unhelpful comments?

- Yes, sir.

- Sometimes we just have to wing it.

Wow.

Sorry for underestimating

the plan, Skipper.

It's okay, Kowalski.

Just don't ever doubt me again.

Now, what the heck is going on?!

Remain calm, penguins.

You are now under the protection

of the North Wind.

You're welcome.

My gosh.

You guys are so cute.

You guys are just so, so cute!

And cuddly.

Hey, get away! No more hugs!

It's like being licked

by a basket full of puppy dogs.

Corporal! Corporal!

Chart a course back

to North Wind headquarters.

Eva, inform them

that we're bringing in witnesses.

Private, Dibble me.

We're not going anywhere with you.

We don't even know who the heck you are.

The North Wind is an elite

undercover interspe...

The North Wind is an elite under...

An elite undercover interspecies...

...task... force, dedicated to help...

helping...

Dedicated to helping...

Dedi... Dedicated to helping animals

who can't help themselves.

- Like penguins.

- Really? And you are?

- My name is classified.

- Classified? What is that, Dutch?

- Can't really hear the accent.

- Excuse me?

- There's the accent.

- No, my name isn't Classified.

My name is classified because I am

the leader of this strike team.

The seal is Short Fuse,

weapons and explosives.

The bear is Corporal, he's our muscle.

And the owl is Eva,

intelligence and analysis.

Well, Agent Classified,

we happen to be an elite unit, too.

Self-destruct sequence activated.

- You know, you should really label these things.

- In three, two, one...

The name's Skipper. I run this outfit.

Back there is Kowalski.

He's the brains of our operation.

Say something smart, Kowalski.

See? He's working

on a whole 'nother level.

And Rico, he's our demolition expert.

He destroyed that chair for the

sheer fun of it. No reason at all.

And then there's Private.

He's... he's sort of our,

you know, secretary/mascot.

- Cute.

- And cuddly. Oh, sorry.

Well, let's see how well

"cute and cuddly" handles this next bit.

Nice doggy door.

Wow.

Look at this.

Well, well, well. Not a bad place

you got here, Classified.

Thank you. That's not my name.

Arrival at pad 17.

All right, tiny penguins,

the best way for the North Wind to protect

helpless animals like yourselves

is to bring Dr. Brine to justice.

Now, you were inside his sub,

so I need to know everything you know.

- Hey!

- Just tell me everything you know.

All right. Numero uno:

- Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.

- Tulip fight...

Canada is secretly training

an army of Sasquatch.

Hot dogs are, in fact,

only 17 percent actual dog.

Not "everything" everything. Just...

everything regarding your abduction

by Dr. Octavius Brine.

- Why didn't you say so?

- What?

My team has uncovered that Dr. Octavius Brine

is actually an individual known as Derek.

- Dave.

- As Dave the octopus.

An octopus? No.

Dr. Brine is not an octopus. He is...

An octopus. Precisely.

That's exactly what our intel indicated.

Release the sheep.

What you, of course, could not know

is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice

is secretly developing a doomsday weapon

called the "Medusa Serum."

- But what you don't know is that Dirk...

- Dave.

- Dave won't be using his bazooka serum...

- Medusa Serum.

Medusa Serum on anybody.

- That part is accurate.

- Show him, Rico.

You stole the Medusa Serum?

Well, stole the serum, saved the day,

did your job for you. Call it what you will.

- Debbie!

- Dave.

- Dave!

- He hacked into our system.

Where's the sound?

- Dave. Your microphone, it's not on.

- I can't... I can't hear anything.

Click on the button with

the picture of the microphone.

- Every time a villain calls in, this happens.

- Hello? Hello?

- Now we can hear you, but we cannot see you.

- So annoying. Every time.

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