Pennies from Heaven Page #4

- Then what?

- Your attitude is unfair.

Of course we need capital.

Why don't you let me take care of that?

How? Singing in backyards?

That's my problem.

If we can get away with this thing,

is it all right? Will you leave us alone?

Yes. I'll leave you alone.

As a matter of fact, I'd like very much

never to have to see you again.

You'd be surprised

how unanimous that is.

Come on, group.

Poor, homeless little chickies.

Looks elegant. Looks real nice.

I couldn't have done better myself.

- Looks effective.

- You bet it does.

That'll be $25.

Deliver it, will you,

and send me the bill?

- That's cash.

- Cash?

- I'll have to paint one myself.

- Wait a minute!

You've got no licence ordering signs

without you can pay for them.

You're right. I did wrong.

You keep the sign.

But I don't want it.

I got no use for it.

Well, I do want it.

I've got some use for it.

Say, do you like chicken dinners?

- Well, yes.

- That's our out.

Now, the Excelsior Company is putting up

$ 1,500 worth of supplies...

Your estimate for the costumes for the

waiter and entertainers is only $ 1,000.

But we're not asking you

to take a cut.

We're gonna give you 25% too.

And it's a grand chance

to get in on the ground floor.

Ground floor of what?

What's your secretary's name?

Myrtle. Why?

Hello, Myrt? Don't put any calls

through here for ten minutes. Right.

Tell me, Mr Arbuthnot, what do you

think of the restaurant business?

Well, people's got to eat.

It's the best business there is.

- Good! You're in it.

- Huh?

Here it is a week.

There ought to be a couple dozen

chickens, and there's only two.

- Good morning, Mr Poole.

- Hello, Henry. Make up your mind?

Yes, sir, Mr Poole.

But there's a little trouble.

Trouble? Well, speak freely.

You see, I got the boys together...

and I told them you wanted us to play

the music for you at the restaurant.

- That's right.

- We'd get ten percent of the business.

- And that's where the trouble started.

- Don't you think ten percent is enough?

Yes and no.

Maybe it's enough,

and maybe it's too much.

But you see, there's seven men

in the band.

- That's counting you.

- Yeah, that's right. Counting me.

And none of us knows how to divide up

ten percent by seven.

So if you could just

only make it seven percent.

Seven percent?

Henry, it's a deal.

Oh, thank you, Mr Poole!

I told them cats

you'd do the right thing.

Why, sure!

I'll see you later. Yes.

What is the matter with them?

I don't know. I've tried everything,

including prayer.

- Are you Mr Poole?

- Why?

I have a telegram for you.

- Collect?

- No. Prepaid.

Well then, I'm Mr Poole.

Sign right here, please.

Well.

- I'll tell you what's wrong.

- Yes?

- You see that one there?

- Yeah.

That's a hen.

Yes. I know. I know.

- See that one over there?

- You mean the rooster?

That ain't no rooster.

What is it?

Hey, what's going on here?

We're supposed to open tomorrow night.

I find you gazing at a hen

and a rooster!

- Two hens, Mr Poole.

- Disaster.

We've just discovered there can be

no increase in the poultry department.

It's a beautiful time for that

to happen. What about tomorrow night?

How are we gonna feed customers

with only two hens?

Mr Poole, when do you have to have

them chickens?

We gotta have them the first thing

in the morning!

First thing in the morning?

And how many do you say you need?

- Gotta have at least 50.

- At least 50.

How many chickens does each man have

to get when you need 50 chickens...

and you's got seven men?

Well, if each man got seven chickens,

that would be forty-nine.

Forty-nine.

Well, I think we can do it.

- You can?

- Yes, sir.

If you do, I'll make it 14%% instead of

seven. That's two percent apiece.

- Now I know we can do it!

- Swell.

I'll tell you just how

we're gonna go about it.

- Yeah?

- As it gets dark tonight...

There's an old deserted mansion

On an old forgotten road

Where the better ghosts and goblins

always hang out

One night they threw a party

In a manner a la mode

And they cordially invited

all the gang out

At a dark, bewitching hour

When the fun was loud and hearty

A notorious wallflower

Became the life of the party

The spooks were having

their midnight fling

Merrymaking was in full swing

They shrieked themselves

into a cheerful trance

When the skeleton in the closet

started to dance

Now a goblin, he giggled

with fiendish glee

A shout rang out from a big banshee

Amazement was in every ghostly glance

When the skeleton in the closet

Started to dance

Now all the witches were in stitches

While his steps made rhythmic thumps

And they nearly dropped

their broomsticks

When he tried to do the bumps

You never heard such unearthly laughter

Or such hilarious groans

When the skeleton in the closet

Rattled his bones

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

That cat don't want no more of me.

I'm telling you that much.

Look out there.

One and two!

I made a deal to get my meals free.

See the boss.

I don't pay any cheques around here.

I'm one of the owners.

I don't know the art

of elocution

I'm no good at thinking on my feet

I make no poetic contribution

Even when you offer me a seat

I've thrown away expressions

one by one

I'm at a loss

And something must be done

When we're in a friendly situation

My conversation

May not be smart

But if we're to have

a perfect understanding

Let's call a heart a heart

There are words

that should be whispered gently

That's evidently

The way to start

If I tell you what my dreams

have been demanding

Let's call a heart a heart

Can I prove how I yearn

Just by the turn of a phrase

Can I keep my control

When all my soul is ablaze

Maybe you would call

a true confession

An indiscretion

On someone's part

But if I'm to say how madly

I adore you

Let's call a heart

A heart

And let's call a spade a spade too.

If your menu had any humble pie,

I'd eat it.

I was wrong,

and I humbly apologize.

There's no doubt about it,

the cafe is a tremendous success...

and I didn't think you could do it.

Oh, I had to. You made me do it.

Did you enjoy your dinner?

- Very much.

- Music okay?

It's delightful.

- You like the looks of the place?

- Charming.

Look. If I could show you where we could

put this place on a paying basis...

so it could provide a comfortable income

for Patsy and Gramp...

would you be satisfied?

I'd be more than satisfied.

I'd be awfully happy.

Then everybody'd be happy.

- You too?

- Me too.

'Cause then I'd be

on my way to Venice.

Why are you so keen about Venice?

Ah, you wouldn't ask that

if you'd ever been there.

It's the most beautiful spot

in the world.

Why, Venice has got all the postcards

you've ever seen whipped to a frazzle.

You haven't lived until you've floated

down the Grand Canal in a gondola...

especially on a feast day with

the coloured lights and the flowers...

and the people singing and laughing,

and guitars.

You know a great deal about Venice.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes