People I Know Page #2

If I f***ed you, there'd be nobody

from the old days

for me to play with.

Pervy little tabloid cocksucker.

I heard that.

Ms. Hopper,

we need your date of birth.

Yeah. Right.

Ms. Hopper,

I'm Jerome Eli Wurman.

Took long enough.

Where's the car? I stink.

Since when did this town start

arresting people for having fun?

You tell me.

Got to check everything, 'cause

they go through your stuff

like it's a f***ing grab bag.

Yeah.

Well, it's all right.

We don't live in a town

with a morals clause.

Where are you from?

Georgia. Listen.

You need some sleep

and something in your stomach.

You'll be as good as new.

Believe me.

Come on.

It's all right.

Yeah.

This is why I don't come back

to New York.

Because I fall right on my ass

every time.

Yeah. I know.

I just wish I had a little

perfume or something.

Listen.

I got a good doctor.

He's a quiet little pussycat.

You know what I'm saying?

You got any Xanax?

You want Xanax from me?

Let's see what I got

in the drugstore.

Pills, pills.

Here you go.

A little Xanax.

Can I interest you

in something like

a nice cobb salad or papaya?

Some matzo ball soup

like my mama used to make?

Hmm?

Back in Georgia?

Yeah.

You all right?

Come on.

This must be fun for you.

It is.

I love it.

Squiring a pretty girl around town.

Sure.

The network's being

pretty nice to me, sending...

What, you're the East Coast

V.P. Of casting

or something?

Really.

So, what time is your call?

It's noon.

If I get the 6:
00 a.m. Flight,

I'll make it.

We're gonna take you over

your hotel and get you packed

and then take you

on over to Teterboro,

where Cary has a plane

to take you back to the coast.

All right?

Cary.

Cary Launer.

You're a f***ing Cary Launer lapdog?

That's great.

- That's just great.

- Easy, now. Come on.

I see.

Where is he?

Whoa.

Oh, no, no.

You don't want to do that!

Please.

Please, honey.

Please don't do that.

Just calm yourself.

It's okay.

It's all right.

Please.

Did he ask if I had

something for him?

No.

Turn around.

We're gonna go downtown.

Wall Street.

Excuse me?

Wally, no.

Don't.

Turn around.

Turn the f***ing car around.

- Just two minutes.

- Turn it, Wally.

He's an a**hole.

This is true.

Oh, I hate to see people

get into messes.

I handled a lot of stars

back in the day.

I had Monty Clift.

I had Mama Cass.

Fat lot of good you did them.

Well, all I can tell you,

the clock is ticking away.

Hear me?

It's ticking away.

Where you going, folks?

Summerwear showroom.

So, how long you been

Cary Launer's Gotham butt boy?

You'll make this quick.

'Cause I got a big day tomorrow.

Okay?

You got to pick up

the movie star's dirty laundry?

No, I got to drop it off

at an airfield

so it can fly back home on its own.

Touch, little fella.

You know what my mama used to say?

Good manners make for good memories.

Bad manners make for goodbyes.

Who the f*** is your mama?

Harriet Beecher Stowe?

Great.

A literary whore.

No wonder Cary likes you.

It's a long way up, hmm?

You don't look so great.

Are you okay?

I'm having a peach of a time.

Aside from the blood in my urine.

And you.

That's kind of smart.

Do you like Ecstasy?

Oh, I love it.

But not tonight.

See, I'm being a good boy tonight.

Yeah.

I can tell.

If you happen to know

anybody here, don't say hello.

That's gonna be tough.

I know everyone.

Not here, you don't.

This will just take a second.

Here goes.

Oh. Hi, Jilli. Back so soon?

No pagers, no cellphones.

Oh, no, no.

I don't believe in cellphones.

They give you cancer.

No pens, no money,

no recording devices,

wallets, or chewing gum.

Oh, that's sugarless.

These will be returned to you

on your way out.

Tell Serge I'm here, all right?

Oh, he already knows.

Elliot?

- Hi.

- Eli.

I've been trying to reach you

about my benefit.

I didn't know you came to this place.

I'm not gonna read about this,

page 6 of the "Post"?

Come on.

That's a friend.

Jilli, honey, how you doing, sweetie?

F*** you, Elliot.

So you're gonna come to my thing

at the Palm.

We need to help these poor boys.

Well, it's a terrible thing.

But don't hustle me here.

That's bad form.

What is this place, anyway?

Eli, this place is everything

a bent little Southern boy

like you could possibly want.

Huh?

Go. Look.

Touch. Play. Feel.

What is this place?

What is the big deal?

I don't know.

You know who that is?

That's Elliot Sharansky.

He's worth billions.

Oh, my God.

Opium?

Good nose.

You were here with Cary?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you must be a very bad influence.

Because I know my boy, and

Cary Launer never does drugs.

Yeah. Maybe.

He sure as sh*t likes to watch

other people do them, right?

How long has this place been here?

It floats.

Well, I don't know

the right people, I guess.

Come on, kiddo.

We'll go to the Odeon

for a burger and a vodka.

I'll listen to you talk

about your life.

- We can't stay here.

- I'm trying to find my thing.

Go ahead.

Now, I'm tempted.

It's right off the boat from Myanmar.

Well, in that case.

- Do it.

- I can't do this.

Boy, you have a nice smile, kiddo.

You do modeling?

'Cause my name's Eli Wurman,

and I do a lot of events.

Maybe if you want to drop by.

My card.

What is that thing

you're looking for, anyway?

My little toy.

Oh.

I need a constant distraction

or I lose control.

Do you believe that?

Control is very important.

Because without it,

there's indiscretion,

which is a cardinal sin.

So true, Jilli.

Hey, Serge.

The man knows.

- This is Eli.

- How do you do?

- Serge.

- Eli.

Serge.

We got to talk.

Mm-hmm.

I love your setup here.

About what happened earlier?

I was f***ed up.

I didn't realize how bad it was.

Oh, Jilli, darling.

Nigerians.

The INS deportees...

It's too late for that.

Let's just say our goodbyes.

Sh*t.

Listen, Serge.

I didn't mean to.

I have to come back, okay?

I want to come back.

Everyone's hands are tied.

It's time for you to move on.

No.

It happens to everyone.

We all have our time.

Wait a second.

Serge, it was a joke.

I'm joking.

You know me.

Jilli, Jilli.

- Why?

- You know the rules.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Wait.

Remember what you did

earlier tonight?

What did I do?

I don't know what I did.

- I don't...

- Goodbye.

I don't know what I did!

Where's my toy?

Where's my f***ing toy, you bastard?

This?

You're too old for this.

I got all you guys now.

It's all right, honey.

I f***ing hate that guy.

Yeah.

All right, darling.

Okay, honey.

I'm gonna take care of you.

I'll get you home.

Get all this stuff cleaned up

and settle in

and get you on that plane.

Here you go.

There you go, darling.

Come on.

Come on.

I got you.

That's fine.

You're gonna be fine.

There you are.

Ooh, man.

There's paparazzi at the hotel.

Oh, you just leave that

to little old Eli.

I'll take care of you there, honey.

I don't want you.

I want Cary.

Well, you're just stuck

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes