People Like Us
1
(lNSTRUMENTS BElNG PlCKED UP)
(JERRY CHUCKLlNG SOFTLY)
JERRY:
Are we on?TECH 1:
We're on.JERRY:
Where we atwith the levels?
TECH 2:
Left. (BEEPS)Right. (BEEPS)
JERRY:
l'm getting a littlehum from the guitar amp.
TECH 1 :
You like it withthat sort of gutbucket sound.
JERRY:
I want to beconvertible on this.
l want to be able to switch it
back if it doesn't fit.
TECH 2:
Check, check. Check.JERRY:
That's good.TECH 2:
Jerry,we're ready now.
JERRY:
Groovy, man. Let's go.TECH 1 :
Yeah, man.(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
Sleep all day
Out all night
l know where you're goin'
l don't think
that's actin' right
You don't think
it's showin'
SAM:
So these are your P30 tires, huh?BEN:
That's right.-How many?
-A hundred thousand.
A hundred thousand?
God, that's a mountain
of rubber, Ben.
Please don't tell me you're
offloading to a liquidator.
-We use Cemensky Brothers.
-Cemensky Brothers?
Look, l'm kind of
pressed for time.
-Can you get to the point?
-(LAUGHlNG)
What, for 10 cents
on the dollar?
Two percent
of your wholesale cost?
What happens when
they dump 100,000 P30s
to every discount chain that's
competing for your clients?
Okay. Ten minutes.
Bottom line it for me. What's your cut?
Well, l could pay you
100 cents on the dollar,
your full wholesale cost,
guarantee to
re-market overseas
so you don't undercut
domestic sales,
and for that, believe me,
it's a river of sh*t
you don't want to go swimming in,
we only pull 30%. commission.
What is it you do again?
You buy tires?
Among other things, yeah.
l work in corporate barter.
l'm a facilitator.
Thank you so much
for taking the time.
Sam Harper,
Allied Trade Consultants.
We buy and sell overstock.
lt's the barter system, Omar.
The original form of commerce.
Look, every company
has leftovers
after a sales cycle, right?
Last year's electronics,
ketchup bottles,
kitten calendars,
toys that didn't sell
at Christmas.
Anything with
an expiration date.
Questionable baby formula.
There's a market
for everything, Phil.
Weyerhaeuser Paper,
U.S. Steel,
Exxon Mobil, Fortune 500s.
We work for the biggest
in the world.
Do you have my card?
Because in this economy,
paper is paper,
but goods are good.
Unlike the dollar,
barter does not depreciate
one single percent.
lt's the new money.
l mean, that's how
you have to think of it.
You are getting in
on the ground floor of money!
(CHUCKLES)
All right.
WOMAN 1 :
Allied Trade Consultants?
WOMAN 2:
Allied Tradeand Barter, please hold.
Allied Trade Consultants.
Please hold
while l transfer your call.
-MAN:
Sammy!-What's up, baby?
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
-WOMAN:
Oh, he's leaving.-Uh-huh. Okay.
(WHlSPERS)
l closed Lincoln Tire,
a million, two,
in product. Yes!
Yeah,
l'll make it right.
You should've seen me
in there, buddy. lt was a thing of beauty!
l fed him
your "new money" line.
lt was like feeding a baby
a pacifier.
Did you ship 100,000 cases
of tomato bisque to Ecuador?
Yeah. Yeah, National Soup had
overstock they had to dump.
And you shipped by train?
Of course l did.
lt was half as much as air freight.
Through Mexico.
1 15 degrees and you ship by train.
-What... What's the problem?
-The problem?
-(RlNGlNG)
-l'll tell you the problem.
Did you get Dolores
on the phone yet?
Yes. Here's the list.
She'll be very happy.
Thank you.
lt's all about Dolores.
l don't know
why you have to
l'm the best guy
you have on the floor. l'm a killer.
Am l saving you
too much money?
Yeah,
you're saving me money
by shipping boxes
of soup in an unrefrigerated train car.
-No, no, Jim, they were cans.
-No, they were boxes.
l know specifically
that they were boxes
because when
boxes get hot, they expand,
and when they expand
they explode,
and that train car
looked like a birthing suite at Bellevue.
(SlGHS) Sh*t!
-You know what you did?
-This isn't a big deal, Jim.
You violated nine provisions
of the Sanitary Food
Transportation Act.
l get it, Jim.
Will you listen to me for a second?
And as soon as the Federal
Trade Commission finds out
they're going to shove
a flashlight,
a Klieg light, in my anus!
They're gonna put a light.
Jesus Christ!
Wanna keep it down?
Yeah, they're gonna
shine it up there
because they want
to shut us down!
You know they want
to shut us down!
We barter.
We don't pay taxes!
l will go
down to National,
l'll talk to Phil Hymore,
the VP of Sales...
-He loves me. l'll have...
-l talked to Phil Hymore.
Phil Hymore's the one
who's threatening to call the FTC.
Phil Hymore's
not calling the FTC.
Yeah, he knows he has us
over a barrel.
(STAMMERlNG)
l'll throw him a deal
and corrugate it
for his next shipment.
He does not want corrugated.
Phil Hymore wants an addition.
-An addition?
-To his house.
He wants an addition
to his house.
He's got a new wife,
Dolores.
She doesn't like
the master suite.
Smells his ex in the walls or
something. Do l give a sh*t?
Are you telling me
you're bribing Phil Hymore
not to report us
to the FTC
by buying him
an addition to his house?
For the record,
l did not use that word, okay?
You're a genius! Genius!
You moved, what,
Yeah.
What's that
in commission, about 80K?
Eighty-four.
Eighty-four thousand.
That should
just about cover it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
No, no, don't do that to me.
Jim, that's my year!
That's my nut, man!
Technically it's not yours, it's
mine. Read your contract.
Commissions are discretionary,
which means it's up to me.
Jim, l need this money.
l need this money.
You need? l need.
My two ex-wives need.
My son in rehab needs.
Which is why you need to
get everything on this list.
That's lumber, copper,
conduit, piping,
everything, all right?
Call your vendors.
You got three days. Cut a deal.
Let's see
a little ingenuity, okay?
Get me the sh*t on that list,
otherwise your ass is fired!
l'm not kidding!
Sh*t!
(CAR ALARMS WAlLlNG)
SAM:
Hannah?l got to bail
on Kim's dinner thing.
l need
a horse tranquilizer.
Why are you cooking?
You wouldn't
answer your phone.
What's... What's wrong?
Your mom's been
trying you all day.
Your dad died.
l'm so sorry.
What's for dinner?
Annie. Sam Harper,
Allied Trade. How are you?
l'm in a bind.
l'm leaving town for a couple days.
l was just hoping
you could help me out.
HANNAH:
Get a pen.l'm gonna give you a list of all the stuff...
Yeah...
No, l'm sure you are busy,
but l happen to be in the
market for a little lumber.
-Next in line, please?
-l know... l got to run.
What do you mean
there's a lumber shortage
-in the northeast?
-Sam... Okay?
lf you help me out
with this wood,
l will get
your truck fleet...
Sir, we need
your photo lD, please.
l'll call you
when l land. Bye.
-Sorry about that.
-WOMAN:
That's okay.-l just need your picture lD.
-Yeah, sure.
-What?
-(GROANS)
l left it on the table
while l was packing.
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"People Like Us" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/people_like_us_15737>.
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