People Will Talk Page #9

- What frog?

The one that gets pregnant

in two hours.

The frog doesn't get pregnant, darling.

It just shows certain indications.

Well, I'm beginning to show

certain indications.

Anyway, I think I am.

I feel so silly

talking to you about it.

No, no, I understand. It's the kind of thing

you'd rather discuss with a doctor.

I don't pretend to be an expert

about such things...

but I've always thought

I was a fairly normal adult young lady...

who knew roughly what every

fairly normal adult young lady should know.

Right now, I feel like

a kind of idiot Elsie Dinsmore.

What seems to be your problem,

Mrs. Praetorius?

I'm confused. I can't figure anything out.

I'm all mixed up.

After all I've been through

these past few weeks, I've got a right to be...

but not this mixed up,

not this confused.

Married exactly two weeks

and three days.

Noah, darling, forgive me for being little Nell

from the country about this...

but is it possible

that I could be having a baby already?

Little Nell, Elsie Dinsmore

or Catherine the Great...

it is entirely possible.

Well, if it's possible,

then you should be the first to know.

It is also probable.

Do you mind?

Comes the dawn, I'll stand

on that windowsill and crow.

Comes the dawn next December,

you'll be walking the floor with it.

- Next September.

- December, dear.

September.

Now you're getting mixed up.

This is April.

- December.

- September.

My dear Dr. Praetorius, unless they've

changed the rules about how long it takes...

or unless there's a new way to count,

I make it December.

There's nothing wrong

with the way you're counting.

You're just not starting

back far enough.

How can I possibly start

any farther back than...

No.

Oh, no.

You're quite a noble character,

aren't you?

I've never thought of myself

as one particularly.

No, really. I've heard of doctors

who were self-sacrificing and unselfish...

but apparently

there's no limit to yours.

Deborah, you couldn't

be more wrong.

Were you that afraid

I'd kill myself?

- How afraid is "that afraid"?

- Afraid enough to marry me

to keep me from it.

Is it conceivable to you that I would?

It seems obvious, doesn't it?

You mean that as a doctor

I was faced by a situation...

which I could only meet by marrying you...

that I did it as a remedy.

Deborah, as you know...

I believe in using any form of therapy

that will make people well.

But it would be impractical to make marrying

my patients a standard form of treatment.

- Why did you marry me?

- Because I was in love with you.

Is that why you came to the farm,

to ask me to marry you?

No, not consciously

at any rate.

Let's not mess with

the unconscious right now.

We've got enough conscious trouble

to worry about.

You fell in love

all of a sudden, didn't you?

All of a sudden.

I'm still falling.

Let me know

when you hit bottom.

Any time within

the next 30 or 40 years.

You came to the farm

because you knew I was pregnant.

And then you met my father

and my uncle...

and you understood

why I tried to kill myself.

By that time, you were all mixed up in it

because you told me that silly lie...

about the wrong frog.

And I was so obviously in love with you,

it was all over me like a tattoo.

And so with no possible way out for anybody,

all of a sudden you fell in love with me...

and that solved everything,

and everybody lived happily ever after.

For two weeks

and three days, that is...

until I found out that my baby

isn't going to be yours.

Funny, this calls for tears,

and I haven't got any.

I take it all back about my being normal

and adult and a lady.

What makes you think

it isn't going to be my baby?

Because it isn't. Because its father is

someone you never even knew...

someone I can't even remember

as well as I should.

All of which, however true,

has nothing to do with our baby.

His interest in this world

will begin as it does with all babies...

when suddenly,

through no fault of his own...

he is rudely deprived of a warm, secure

and well-fed existence...

which he has every reason to believe will

go on forever, and finds himself upside-down...

being smacked

on the backside.

- Are you going to love him?

- Of course I am.

So am I, and we'll keep him warm and we'll

feed him and make him feel secure again...

- and give him brothers to play with.

- All boys, eh?

It's time you stopped thinking about yourself

and started thinking about my baby.

- Noah, if you really suddenly

fell in love with me...

- No "if".

- Why?

- I couldn't say why.

- Haven't you ever wondered?

- Falling as fast as I am, I don't have time.

- A man as exact as you

with a reason for everything?

- Then I'll find it.

Any time in the next 30 or 40 years,

I'll start wondering.

I won't be doing much else it looks like,

except wondering...

about you and me, about you and the baby,

me and my fine character.

- Are you feeling sorry for yourself?

- I'm feeling sorry for you.

- Don't be.

- I love you.

- Be that.

- Forgive me.

- Shut up.

- Love me.

Dinner is served.

I have forbidden you to bring

that disgusting echo chamber into my house.

- As your friend...

- Why is it here? Am I not

the master in my own house?

To provide for your wife

some contact with the world of sensitivity...

- of which you have no knowledge.

- Hear, hear.

# Happy birthday to you #

- # Happy birthday to me #

- # Happy birthday to you #

# Happy birthday #

# Dear Noah #

#Happy birthday

# To you

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Pardon me.

- Lionel.

- Oh. I'm late.

- The hearing must have started.

Why aren't you there?

- Not yet, but in a second.

Now, you mustn't be nervous.

There's nothing to be worried about.

Just see to it that they get it over with quickly.

Such nonsense.

May I? Thank you.

How dare they hold their silly investigation

the same night as the concert.

- It's unforgivable.

- It may be worse.

From what I hear,

Professor Elwell and his gang insisted upon it.

They consider it unlikely that Noah

will conduct if the hearing goes against him.

The reasons for it

could then hardly be kept confidential.

The hearing will not

go against him.

And besides, Noah would conduct

on his way to be hanged.

I'm terribly sorry,

gentleman, but unavoidable.

My apologies.

Well, now that we're all here,

shall we begin?

It is my intention, gentlemen,

to conduct this hearing informally.

Dr. Praetorius, wouldn't

you like to sit closer?

Thank you. I prefer to remain

as remote as possible.

I suggested it merely to avoid having our

discussion take on the appearance of a trial.

I appreciate your thoughtfulness...

but I consider this trial to be a trial.

I have no intention of regarding

an investigation of my methods and myself...

as a cozy little chat

among friends.

- Hear, hear.

- Professor Barker...

I will have to insist that no one speak

without being recognized by the chair.

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