Perfect Strangers Page #2

- 20.

But apparently it went well,

I feel like one of the gang now.

- Who, you ?

- One of the gang ?

No way !

Darling, look at their faces.

They're teasing.

- They're teasing.

- Of course we are.

- You're our favorite.

- Cosimo, you got lucky.

It wasn't luck.

Hands off, surgeon.

- Leave me alone !

- Hands off.

How many do you see ?

Two.

- This sauce is good. What is it ?

- Capers and olives.

This summer we'll bring a ton of capers

back from the seaside.

Here they charge 7.50 euros

for a jar this size.

Damn ! I should grow capers

on my land in hills.

- Capers in the hills ?

- Yeah, 7.50 euros !

Please, you're not growing

capers now !

Laugh all you want,

it's a good business.

- Any news on the house in Salina ?

- Not yet.

- First trip without Chiara and Diego.

- I spoke to her, she says hello.

- How is she ?

- Miserable, back with her parents.

Her husband's having an affair

with a girl their daughter's age...

- It'll take time to get over it.

- She's nearing menopause, almost 50.

- She'll never get over it.

- I have lots of patients like her.

See ?

- Did you know about it ?

- About what ?

- About this girl ?

- No.

- Of course they knew !

- Of course.

How could we know ?

- Why, do you tell ifyou know ?

- Ifyou're a friend, yes.

You're saying ifwe'd known about it

we should've told Chiara her hubby

was screwing a 23-year-old hottie ?

- 23 years old ?

- 22.

- Almost 22.

- You're a bunch of shits.

No, these are delicate issues.

If all hell breaks loose,

they'll say it's your fault

for poking your nose in.

- Peppe's right.

- All right, but I'm warning you.

If Cosimo cheats on me,

I want you to tell me.

- Ifyou really want to know...

- Idiot.

- They'd never give each other away.

- They're all the same.

- A losing battle.

- We're too different.

Like a PC and a Mac.

- And what are men ?

- A PC, obviously.

Cheap, they pick up viruses,

and only do one thing at a time.

When Lele's in the shower,

he can either wash or sing.

- Otherwise he freezes up.

- Very funny !

Hilarious !

And women are Macs.

Intuitive, fast, elegant.

Expensive and compatible

only among themselves.

Yes, but they're addictive too.

- What will happen to Diego now ?

- Nothing.

- He's got no wife and kids.

- And a 22-year-old girlfriend.

- A hellish life !

- Having to watch TV talent shows,

going to Justin Bieber concerts,

getting drunk on beer...

While your ex strips you

of everything:
house, money, car...

Don't exaggerate !

- Everything !

- Just ask Peppe.

I'm no example, my wife

nearly had to pay me alimony.

A lawyer, however despicable,

knows how much a P.E. teacher earns.

Nasty business though ! Afamily

breaking up because of a text.

- A 22-year-old slut, you mean.

- Almost 22.

But if Chiara hadn't read that text...

So it's her fault for reading it ?

No, but he could've at least

deleted the text...

He was screwing a young girl,

he should've been careful.

- What ?

- Should've been careful about what ?

- About the text or being a sh*t ?

- Don't take it out on me !

Lele, pass me the eggplant patties.

It's hot !

Cosimo's right,

you do have to be careful.

We have everything in here.

It's the black box of our lives.

How many couples would split up

if they looked at each other's phones ?

Lele would never let me see his.

What's the problem ?

Here, take it.

- Oh I will.

- Go ahead.

Lele, cut that out.

- Look, his hand's trembling.

- He's turned pale.

I insist you take it,

but put yours up here too.

Sure, all you'll find are messages

from the pediatrician

and your sister

asking about your mom.

- Why does she ask you ?

- Do you ever answer your phone ?

- Would you let Cosimo have yours ?

- I don't even have a passcode.

Darling, I wouldn't want yours.

Rocco would rather swallow his,

wouldn't you, love ?

That's not true. Here.

You'll find a few tits and asses,

but all tools of the trade.

So you're saying

that none of us has a secret ?

- All saints, apart from Diego ?

- Eva, what...

- What secrets could we have ?

- We know each other too well.

Yes, let's hope there are some secrets

or what a bore !

- Let's play a game then.

- What kind of game ?

- We'll find out.

- What ?

Come on, we'll all put

our phones on the table.

- Then what ?

- While we're eating,

texts, WhatsApp messages, calls,

whatever arrives, we share it.

- We don't have any secrets.

- What sort of game is that ?

- It might be fun.

- Think so ?

- Yes.

- Come on ! Let's do it.

- Do what ?

- This is mine.

- Of course, Lucilla's at home.

- I'd take part anyway.

- Not even your mom calls you.

- What kind of game is this, Eva ?

- Afun game.

- I don't think so.

Got something to hide ?

I'm worried that

you might have something to hide.

I don't want to know

ifyou're cheating.

If I were cheating,

I wouldn't have suggested this game.

Or you are

and you want to be found out.

There's this psychological mechanism

according to which...

serial-killers do all they can

to get found out.

Let's do. We can stop ifwe get bored.

Yes, it's like when we played

truth or dare as kids.

So what ? We used to jerk off

together as kids too.

- I didn'tjerk offwith you.

- No, you did it alone.

- Cosimo, put your phone on the table.

- Huh ?

Get your phone out.

- Should I be worried ?

- No ! Of course not !

Here you go, it's not a problem.

Are we really doing this ?

It's rude to keep phones

on the table while eating.

- Yes, Diego always switched his off.

- Lele leaves his face down.

- What ?

- You leave it face down.

Think I haven't noticed ?

It's not intentional.

I pull out my phone and place it down.

Ifyou scratch the screen

it costs 200 euros to replace it.

- 50 in Chinatown.

- Let's scratch it then.

Look here, look...

I'll put it face up.

I'll get mine.

But I'm warning you...

- If mom calls, I'm not answering.

- If the allergic dog client calls,

I'm not answering it,

otherwise it's all yours.

- Come on, let's see what happens.

- You do agree this is really stupid ?

- It's really stupid.

- F***ing stupid, come on, guys !

Dad ?

- Sofia.

- Hi, Sofia !

- Hello, everyone.

- She gets prettier every day.

- She takes after her mother.

- Can you come here ?

Excuse me.

Can I have some money, please ?

- Why didn't you ask in there ?

- Not in front of mom.

- What happened ?

- The usual.

You argued ?

- How old is Sofia ?

- 17 in June.

I remember when we celebrated

her birthday in Circeo.

- She was 10, right ?

- Yes, 10.

- Seems like yesterday.

- Great...

"Time flies by so fast !"

has been said.

- "This used to be a farm..."

- "All Blacks have rhythm."

Don't forget

"Pippo Baudo is very professional".

- That's enough, guys.

- Hold it, first text.

- It's mine.

- Shall we read it ?

Yes.

"I want your body" ?

Who's it from ?

- I don't know.

- We're off to a good start.

What does it mean ?

- I don't know.

- Who sent it ?

The number's not in my phone,

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