Pete Winning and the Pirates

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1

After the great flood of 2029

and the ensuing war, food and

drinkable water became scarce.

Radiation pockets made sea travel

the only method of transportation.

Both difficult and dangerous.

A self-crowned queen holds a monopoly

over the safe zones, paid for through

outrageous land taxes.

These are the commoners' only way

to keep their families clear

of the horrid mutations by radiation.

The queen's personal

map, detailing the known

safe zones for travel, was stolen,

torn into three pieces, and

scattered across the country.

A generous bounty stands

offered for their return.

A cutthroat lifestyle of

piracy has taken over the seas.

But a noble few, armed

with laser guns and wit,

travel the globe in search of these maps.

An attempt to remove the queen from power,

the hope to end her reign of tyranny,

the plan to bring freedom to the people.

- That explosion, huge!

- Well, you sure love your

understatements, Carmen.

But considering size doesn't matter,

the question is, did you get the map?

- Two out of three.

Check.

The queen's gonna kill us.

- Well, that's only assuming we don't win.

And I am--

- Pete Winning, I know.

- Carmen?

It's never easy.

- We'll get those maps for the west.

All three.

You hungry?

I'm hungry.

Starved, really.

Famished.

- Clearly, you're hungry.

- Deathly so.

- Well, if we could get

some money, maybe we could--

- Uglies!

Incoming!

Eva, I will never

get used to seeing uglies.

- Radiation from the war,

that'll get 'em every time.

- Sloth want your food.

- Well, Sloth can want in one hand,

spit in the other, and then tell me

which one fills up first.

Have you any idea hard

hard those are to come by?

- Pete, forget about the stogey.

- Sorry, mates.

So now, where's your food.

- That's why we was attacking you.

- And you probably don't'

even have any lasers.

- No lasers.

We try.

- Remy, how much is the

queen's tariff these days?

- Probably more than we got.

- Somehow I doubt that.

You look a little tired.

Why don't you let me take over?

- You know, we could just try docking

without paying the tariff.

- That would be insane, Eva.

- Oh jeez.

- You're absolutely right.

Then we'd have to avoid the shore guards.

- No one can avoid them.

- Well they're the best.

- Of course they are.

- Of course.

- We'll just pull in over here, right?

- Ahoy there!

You've the need to pay!

Finch.

Fire 'em up.

- Well.

So much for a quiet day.

Give us your

weapons and get on your knees!

- I guess we do the usual thing?

Ow.

- You're holding it wrong.

- Huh?

- Thanks.

- What exactly were you thinkin', mate?

- Suppose I hadn't planned that far.

- Hey, Jane!

Is that what I tink it is?

- Make mine a double!

No, a triple.

No, quadruple X of your finest, ma'am.

- Does that mean Carmen is here?

Hey, Carl,

that's Pete Winning over there.

Naw, can't be him.

On this island?

- Oh Pete.

Pete Winning?

Good!

That guy owes me money!

- Pete Winning, hey?

- There's some interest

in harbor for some,

queen-lovers everywhere.

- If they knew what we know.

- Nice outfit, queenie.

- Yeah, bills need to be paid, hoser.

Yeah?

- Stop!

Come on, boys.

So.

Pete.

I hear you're lookin' for a navigator.

- We're heading straight into the east.

Carmen used to be the pro.

- Mm, I heard rumors about what happened.

A loss.

- Well, if you're lookin'

for a navigator in this town,

there's only one guy worth the effort.

- Well, the trick is to avoid the queen

and the radiation, I don't think we plan

on becoming uglies any time soon.

- Nah, there's one thing about this guy,

you'll never find a prettier sailor.

He's got a hell of a memory.

He's been patrollin' these waters

ever since the first big flood.

- The Charmer.

- Charmer?

Well, it sounds like we'd

be safe with him for sure.

Where do we find this guy?

- Right over here.

Pete Winning.

Put that away before you hurt someone.

You could really put an

eye out with that thing.

The Charmer, eh?

- People have many sides.

- You, my friend, have seen a few.

But not all.

Victor Rathboat, the Charmer, yes.

Most definitely.

And would you believe I have

a wonderful singing voice?

- Well, you're the only one who can get us

where we need to go.

- You have to tell me where that is first.

We are playing with real money, yes?

- Assuming we're not a group of uglies

when we get back to the west safely,

absolutely.

- I would expect no less, captain.

- Here's the tough part, sweetie,

you and your crew, you're nice and all,

but the queen'll be

comin' for that tariff.

We know you're broke,

but that fancy wrist gizmo you go there

will do you just fine.

- Oh this old thing?

She can take it off me herself

when we pay her a visit.

- It's fine by us, mate, but just watch

what you're saying out loud around here.

The queen needs her coin.

- You know, I may have

something you'd fancy.

In the bilge, brown satchel.

- Oh, ah,

you know, I may a landie, there boy,

but boy looks like an awful lot of water

comin' in there.

- You see that?

That's an auto-pump.

Gets wet, it kicks in.

If the engine's runnin',

the pumps a-pumpin',

so just don't run out of gas.

- Gas?

You know, the queen's good

for somethin', my friend,

her water engines have

saved lives out there.

- Sure they have.

- They have.

- Get the satchel.

- Are those what I tink they are?

- They certainly are.

You interested?

- What exactly are you

tryin' to do, Mr. Winning?

- All this talk about

safe zones and radiation,

but these two maps are proof enough

that at least one damn fool

made it there and back.

- Which is obvious.

- Are you saying you know

where the missin' map is?

- The map of the east, queen's home turf?

Could be worth millions.

- Exactly.

- So, where are we headed?

- Out

there.

- We don't know yet.

- We'll think of something.

- Listen, pal, it's gonna

be a little bit tough

with just the four a ya.

Uh, three of you.

- What?

- Three of you.

This is insane, and please

give me a minute to clarify,

if I got this right, you're planning

to go on a wild journey

into the lion's den

to steal an invaluable map,

and then plan to make it

back to the west coast

all in one piece, without turning ugly,

just so you don't have to pay the queen

to live on her land anymore.

Well great.

What about the Crimsons?

Those suckers are viscous.

I don't have the stones for that anymore.

And besides, the queen,

she ain't that bad.

You really should consider upgrading

to one of her water engines.

Gas is what got us into

this trouble to begin with.

Well, it was nice

knowin' ya, Pete Winning,

and Eva, and Victor and what's your faces.

- Finch, it's Finch.

Toodles.

Good luck savin' the world.

Those guys are dead meat.

Mutant, dead fish meat.

- Hang the tariff.

God knows you guys'll be needing

as much help on that ship as you can get.

I may be no Carmen,

but you can count on me, mate.

- Jane, are you sayin' you're gonna--

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