Petulia Page #13

77 INTO ARCHIE'S APARTMENT–NIGHT

Furniture is pushed back and three pup tents circle the center of the room. .Archie and his sons have been having a camp-in. They are all dressed in jeans and sweat shirts and Stevie even wears moccasins—as though they were in the High Sierras.. The remainders of T.V. dinners are scattered around plus Coke bottles plus their bed rolls from last night, Actually, though it must have sounded like a great idea, the two boys are very bored. Archie though trying to be "with-it," is far away and they sense. it.

STEVIE:
Shouldn't we police the area?

ARCHIE:
Good idea. Police the area.

MIKE:
This is keen, Dad. Water canteens and everything.

STEVIE:
I'm out of water.

ARCHIE:
Always make sure you've got water. You'll find some in the kitchen. What's on T.V.?

STEVIE:
I'm hot. In fact.

ARCHIE:
Switch the fire off then.

Stevie goes to switch the electric fireplace off.

MIKE:
It's really keen, Dad.

The bell rings and Polo is standing there. She looks around, smiling.

POLO:
I don't believe it.

STEVIE:
Even canteens, Mom.

Polo really only has eyes for Archie. She is troubled by how haggard and worn he looks.

POLO:
Roller Derby starts at eight.

STEVIE:
We have to police the area.

MIKE:
It's really been keen, Mom. Nobody ever heard of a camp-in.

The two boys now busy themselves with straightening out the place as Polo crosses to Archie.

ARCHIE:
It's been really keen, Mom.

POLO:
Poor Archie.

ARCHIE:
Not "dumb" Archie?

POLO:
Never. The brightest. I used to have such terrible anxiety that I would die suddenly. Before I could say thank you.

Archie is very touched.

STEVIE:
I have to go to the latrine.

Stevie goes.

MIKE:
Is Dad allowed to come to the Roller Derby? I mean since Uncle Warren couldn't?

He is so bad at matchmaking that Polo and Archie can hardly keep a straight face.

78 INT. ROLLER DERBY

The place is almost empty, but the fans are wildly enthusiastic and are placed to look like thousands for the T.V. camera. The women's team is on the rink, skating, banging into each other with great good-natured brutality. One of the skaters bucks another clear off the rink, smashing through the rail. The kids are in heaven, but Polo is so shocked she instinctively turns to Archie and buries her face in his shoulder. Out of habit, he lets her, even touching the back of her head comfortingly, assuring her no fatality has occurred. Mike, the ace matchmaker, watches them with satisfaction.

MIKE:
(screaming) Don't let that old fat butt get away with that!

POLO:
(shocked) Michael!

MIKE:
FAT BUTT!

POLO:
(to Archie) Will you please tell your son—

She turns to Archie and sees him watching the fighting intently. The women are really brutal with each other. One small blonde lady is being pummelled unmercifully by several others. As her head twists and turns from the forest of fists she seems to become Petulia. STEVIE want to go home.

MIKE:
They don't mean it.

STEVIE:
I want some popcorn.

ARCHIE:
I'll get it.

He rises quickly and moves to the refreshment counter behind the grandstand. Archie finds a telephone booth. Polo watches him at the phone booth. Her eyes lose their warmth.

The women's team races around the track. Archie returns with a box of Cracker Jacks.

STEVIE:
I said popcorn.

POLO:
(coldly) How is she? Dead, I hope?

Archie is stunned at Polo's abrupt coldness.

ARCHIE:
You don't even know her.

POLO:
(coldly) I just have to look at you.

Archie steps, remembering this is approximately what Petulia had said about Polo. He does a "how odd!" without saying it.

ARCHIE:
She's not going to die.

POLO:
What a shame.

ARCHIE:
She has her first visitor. Mr. Danner.

Polo couldn't care less. Five skaters smash into each other on the rink but Polo doesn't flinch. She wouldn't think of turning to Archie for comfort.

ARCHIE:
"His Masters in Hydraulics."

They sit coldly with their children, a million miles apart.

79 INT. PETULIA'S HOSPITAL ROOM–NIGHT

The Mr. Danner who is with Petulia is David's father. Petulia lies in the bed staring straight ahead at an enormous cotton giraffe, obviously a gift. The patient in the next bed has three middle-aged girl friends visiting her. They are playing bridge. Their presence frustrates Mr. Danner. The other patient's T.V. set is on, and on the tube we barely notice the continued violence of the outside world.

MR.

DANNER:
It's been a terrible shock to us... to Mother and me...Our sailor boy and his pretty bride.

79A INT. FATHER DANNER'S LIVING ROOM

He stands at a great eye of a window. Mother Danner is mournfully quartering apples for an apple pie.

MR.

DANNER'S

VOICE:
As I told Mother, the values we lived by just don't seem to mean anything at all anymore. Our kids can chuck out two thousand years of Western civilization ...of Christianity ...as though it wasn't worth a red cent.

79B INT. PETULIA'S HOSPITAL ROOM

MR.

DANNER:
(continuing) I must say Mother's answer surprised and, well, really sort of tickled me: "It's easy to be an angel when you're old and worn out and nobody wants you anymore." You see we do try, Petulia. I mean there you were in that man's apartment. Where I come from...in "little pockets of ignorance" I suppose you'd call it...you'll find people who still live by the unwritten law.

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