Phone Booth Page #6

VOICE:

This takes all the guesswork out of

it. You know exactly where to

expect it before I even tighten my

finger on the trigger.

STU:

Don't tighten. Don't even tickle

that f***ing finger.

VOICE:

How about Geraldo? He's run his

ass off to get in on this.

STU:

You're talking about the old

Geraldo. Look, I can try and reach

cable NBC. They're hungry.

VOICE:

I'm disappointed. I wanted to go

first class.

STU:

They do a great job. They'll haul

a whole crew over to cover your

surrender "live."

VOICE:

I never expressed interest in

giving myself up. There are so

many other phone booths in the

city. I'm just getting warmed up.

STU:

That's entirely up to you. Your

choice. I'm just trying to set you

up with the proper communicator.

(beat)

I suppose Liza wasn't strong

enough. I should've said Madonna.

VOICE:

Now you're being creative.

Outside the booth, the angry black woman has returned,

bringing with her a gaudily dressed pimp named LEON who looks

like he means business. He slams his fist against the glass,

nearly shattering it.

LEON:

Drag your baggy butt out of that

booth. We got business to conduct

out of there.

FELICIA:

He been in there all day.

STU:

I'm not through.

LEON:

Hang up that receiver or I'll make

you eat the f***ing thing!

STU:

F*** off or I'll call a cop.

LEON:

Do you see one around here? What

you think I'm gonna be doing while

you're waiting for a prowl car to

get assigned? I'm about to cut you

a second a**hole if you don't

vacate those premises.

STU:

I can't.

FELICIA:

He's got him a f***ing cellular.

What's he need to be on our booth

for?

STU:

I can't explain it.

LEON:

I'm not interested in your

explanations even if you had any.

He withdraws a switchblade knife from his pocket but doesn't

open it -- yet.

LEON:

If I flick this, I use it.

STU:

I'll make it worth your while to go

away. How much do you want?

LEON:

Make me an offer.

STU:

Thirty dollars. It's all I've got

in cash. Take it and go.

LEON:

You're offering to rent my phone

booth? For how long?

STU:

I don't know. For as long as it

takes.

LEON:

What's so special in there?

STU:

Do you want the money?

LEON:

Is that a genuine Rolex you've got

on?

STU:

Come on, man. That's my good

watch.

LEON:

That's what it's gonna take.

STU:

Then here. Take the damn thing.

LEON:

And the thirty!

STU:

Take it all.

The pimp pockets the watch and the money. But doesn't go

away.

LEON:

Now I'm satisfied. But you still

got to deal with Felicia here. I

believe you spoke harshly to her.

STU:

I apologize.

LEON:

And did her some injury.

STU:

An accident. I'm sorry about that,

too.

FELICIA:

The man don't sound like he means

it.

LEON:

I agree.

(to Stu)

Why don't you hang up a minute so

we can discuss this matter at

length.

STU:

It's long distance. I can't lose

the call -- I might not get them

back.

LEON:

Do I have to rip that f***ing phone

out of there?

STU:

That wouldn't be a good idea.

(into pay phone)

Would it?

VOICE:

Not at all.

STU:

I gave you everything I've got.

LEON:

That pinky ring looks attractive.

Felicia might like that.

FELICIA:

It might fit.

STU:

You want the ring, you've got the

ring. If I can get it off.

LEON:

I can get it off you.

Leon reaches in and grabs Stu's ring hand.

STU:

Let go of me! It's coming loose.

There.

(he tosses it)

Okay, Felicia, with my deepest

apologies. Goodbye now.

LEON:

What's really going on in that

booth -- that escapes the naked

eye?

STU:

Nothing. Talk. That's all.

LEON:

That your connection on the end of

the line? Or are you dealing?

STU:

This has nothing to do with drugs.

LEON:

You gotta be high on something to

willingly divest yourself of your

valuables -- just to maintain

occupancy of a f***ing phone booth

that the local bums piss in every

night.

STU:

I knew it smelled for some reason.

LEON:

You look like you're ready to piss

yourself.

STU:

Because I am.

LEON:

Maybe if the city provided decent

public toilets, folks wouldn't

relieve themselves in the subway

stations and phone booths!

STU:

I'll take it up with the mayor.

LEON:

Next thing you know you're gonna

claim we mugged you -- took your

billfold and watch.

STU:

No, you didn't. It was a fair and

equitable deal. You had

territorial rights to this booth

and I paid a license fee. Fair is

fair. Now leave me in peace.

LEON:

You sure you're alright?

(to Felicia)

He don't look well.

FELICIA:

Kind of pale. Even for a white

man.

LEON:

Jaundice they calls it. Probably

advanced liver trouble.

(to Stu)

If it's cirrhosis, you better find

yourself a twelve step program and

quick.

STU:

Thanks for your interest but I'm in

perfect health.

FELICIA:

So how come his hand is shaking?

LEON:

The man is cracking up.

FELICIA:

Lookit the sweat pouring off the

sonofabitch. That's one sick

mother you started up with, Leon!

LEON:

Me? You're the one that brought me

over and exposed me to all his

germs.

STU:

I'm terminal, okay? Now can I

close the booth and continue my

conversation?

LEON:

I'm worried now it might be

catching. All that money out of

your sweaty pocket is probably

crawling with some rare and

incurable disease.

STU:

Fine. Give it back.

LEON:

What good's that? We done touched

it.

STU:

Well go wash your hands.

LEON:

Come on now. Own up to what you're

carrying. Is it some of that

sexually transmitted sh*t? Cause

in that case, we can relax.

STU:

I'm sick of you. Now get out of my

face.

LEON:

Here we's being solicitous as to

your health and you respond by

heaping abuse!

FELICIA:

Whip his arrogant ass.

Leon reaches into the booth and grabs Stu's jacket.

STU:

Touch me and I'll throw up on you.

At the suggestion, Leon lets go quickly.

It looks like a stalemate. Stu isn't vacating the booth and

Leon and his lady are reluctant to touch him further. He

does indeed look sick.

STU:

(into pay phone)

You can see what I'm up against

here.

VOICE:

Want me to get rid of him for you?

STU:

What do you have in mind?

VOICE:

I'll think of something.

Suddenly the red dot reappears on the forehead of the pimp.

Leon doesn't realize it's there. The hooker behind him has

no way of seeing it. But to Stu, there's no way to miss it.

He reacts.

STU:

God -- no.

(into pay phone)

Don't. It's not necessary.

VOICE:

You asked for my help.

STU:

I'll handle it myself.

VOICE:

You're not doing too well. I can

settle it in a fraction of a

second. Shall I demonstrate?

STU:

No.

(to Leon)

For your own safety, mister, just

walk away.

LEON:

Now the man is turning

aggressive... issuing threats upon

my person.

STU:

You're making this happen.

LEON:

If you don't hang up and step out,

I'm about to topple this booth into

the gutter with you inside it.

Reluctant to touch Stu again, Leon assaults the booth itself.

He begins shaking it violently -- trying to rip it from its

foundation. And the rickety booth is not too sturdy. It

starts rocking back and forth.

Stu is thrown around inside it, barely keeping his footing.

STU:

(into pay phone)

This isn't my fault.

(shouts)

Stop that!

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